Sick Girl

Oh, Sick Girl. How sick you are. Ya got your kicks peeing on nuns, lopping off weiners, and kissing your brother. You actually sound like a pretty cool chick, it's such a shame you're monotone and you have a dumpy butt.

2007's Sick Girl, created by all around blowhard Eben Whatshisname, focuses on the small-town life of a girl named Izzy, who is forced to become head of her household when her brother ships off to the Marines. Things sour from there on out, and Izzy's already shaky disposition crumbles into a pile of constant premenstrual insanity. No one's safe anymore; not her flamboyant younger brother, nor their bike-riding bear of a neighbor. The blood flows, children die, and rats are fed and returned to the gay guy who did porn after being in Fright Night. You know the guy.

I'd like to say Sick Girl is a good time, but then again, I'd like to say I enjoy popping pimples along the under-carriage of my fanny. A little juicy, kinda painful, and totally unnecessary. This movie fails for a few reasons, namely its weak script and dodgy direction. If you enjoy drawn-out scenes of inept dialogue and really pointless scenes of gore, including a controversial moment where a severed member is forced onto a make-shift dildo, the less discriminating horror-hound may actually enjoy this sh!t show.

So throw on a wife-beater or two, break out the Christmas lights, and don't say I didn't warn ya. Sick Girl sucks.

Alright, let's see. An intriguing and original story. An awesome leading lady. An absolutely chilling score. Shocking, intense, gruesome, gory, vile, and scary as all hell. Yeah, that basically covers everything. I've finally found it. The Horror masterpiece of the decade. True Horror fans, I give you Sick Girl.

Izzy, for the most part, is a fairly reasonable, dare I say nice person. Izzy lives with, and takes care of her 9 year old brother, Kevin, while her older brother serves in Iraq. All we ever learn about the parents is that they're gone. You could say Izzy has a lot on her plate, having to raise a sibling, and all. Not to mention Izzy misses her older brother a little too much, if you catch my drift. A lot of people go through life, having no idea what to do with their stress. With others, it simply comes natural, whether it be sex or drugs, or what have you. But with Izzy, she just up and realized one day that life would be so much more fulfilling if she could only kidnap, torture, torture, torture, rape, castrate, and kill whoever she wanted, whenever she wanted. So, anyway, that's what Izzy's been up to. Little bro, on the other hand, Kevin's got his own problems. The local bullies have been giving the little fella a hard time. If you think Izzy is above torturing and killing small children... well, she's not, which is all that needs to be said about that.

I am in my late 20's, and I can honestly say that this is the first time a Horror movie has scared me since I was a little kid. Feeling that queasy, that shocked, and that impressed, all at once was not at all what I expected from a modern Horror movie. I just can't praise this dismal, graphic masterpiece enough. Besides being horrifying, original, and gory, another word also comes to mind. Interesting. As in, it's awfully interesting to observe how vulnerable someone who is already slightly disturbed, can be. All it could take is one disappointment, or tragedy, or even a bad day, for one to suddenly cross that line from "slightly disturbed" to "ferocious killing machine", with seemingly no chance of return. It happens. Even to big sisters. Comparing this pitch-black diamond to pseudo-indy garbage like High Tension or Hostel, would be insulting. If anything, Sick Girl should only be compared to the elite, such as Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer, or Maniac. Sick Girl is a morbid little beauty, just waiting to be discovered, hopefully by someone who can appreciate real Horror when they see it. Lastly, I am totally counting on more from the refreshingly disturbing Leslie Andrews, who is ultimately what made this movie work so well. Now, that's what I call a scream queen!!

I've seen some bad movies in my life but this one takes the cake. What a piece of garbage.

It's pretty sad when the best actors in a movie were a rat and a severed penis. At some points, it actually appeared they were reading their lines. You could walk in any walmart and randomly pick a better cast.

The acting wasn't the only short coming of this movie. The whole movie was relatively pointless and under developed. The best part was when it was over!

Do not waste your time watching it.

I watched this movie about three years ago. I'd heard a great deal about how nasty and shocking it was. The torture scenes in the barn near the end are quite brutal. But the thing that I remember most about this film is how annoying the lead actress's voice was. You spend the majority of this movie with this character and she is painful to listen to. Not only because of her delivery but because of the actual direlogue itself. I couldn't root for the character because she was so annoying and skanky.

If the most memorable thing about a movie is how annoying the leads voice is, it doesn't bode well for the film. I'd avoid this film.

With both her parents dead, and her older brother Rusty (Chris W. King) serving in the marines, Izzy (Leslie Andrews) is left to raise her younger brother Kevin (Charlie Trepany), with a little help from a family friend, biker Barney (John McGarr). In her spare time, Izzy enjoys torturing and killing anyone who gives her or Kevin a hard time.

While Sick Girl does its very best to be extreme and shocking, with Izzy urinating on a nun, killing children, harbouring incestuous desires, hacking off a bloke's todger, and raping a girl (via the use of a makeshift strap-on), the effect is seriously undermined by flat direction and some of the worst acting imaginable, with Leslie Andrews leading the way with a particularly dreadful central performance, her lines delivered in a monotonous drawl that robs even the most intense moments of their power to disturb.

It says a lot about how bad this film is that Fright Night actor turned gay porn star Stephen Geoffreys — who has a supporting role as Kevin's teacher Mr. Putski — subsequently returned to the world of man-on-man XXX movies (with Three Dicks Are Better Than One 3). He probably found it less embarrassing