The Machine Girl

I have always thought of Japonesse comedy as being like Shakespeare comedy; funny to the people of the time and/or place but not to the rest of us. This is the first Asian film to not only make me laugh more than just a chuckle, but to make me cry with laughter and literally smack my knee. The reason that this is so good is because it seems as if writer director Noboru Iguchi took a step or two back too get a view of the Asian film market as a whole and even seems to have looked at it with a non-Asian eye to see how the rest of us see the market.

The deliberate over-the-top cheese and "happy family beginnings" were great fun, but its the wonderfully gory scenes that you'll remember. I don't want to go into too much detail so as to avoid spoiling the fun for those who haven't seen it, except to say that the scene with the main bad guy making his son drink his blood as a right of passage to the yakuzza is the main culprit for my man tears.

The only real problem of note is that the fun starts to dry a little as time goes on, the gore occurs less and less and the deliberate cheesy acting and dialogue almost gets tiresome (though it never actually is). It seems as if Iguchi used up all his best ideas too quickly in the first half and had to run with an empty tank for the last third.

Despite this its still always superb fun, and even though it is definitely gory, I recommend most people to see it, just cover your eyes if it gets too much at times!

This film is filled with violence and gore, severed heads and limbs. So, why am I recommending it? Its fun to watch despite all that. The core of the plot is good. Ami, played by the pretty Minase Yashiro, avenges the murder of her younger brother Yu at the hands of a group of sadistic young people who are part of the Kimora clan. Ami's arm is hacked off in her first attempt to kill the son who caused Yu's death, but she manages to escape and is taken in by Miki, whose son Takeshi was also killed by the gang with Yu. It is Takeshi's mother Miki who goes along with Ami on this mission. If you don't like blood and gore, you can't watch this film. I normally do not like it, but this movie moves along at a good pace and Minase Yashiro actually does a good job as Ami. So, if you can handle buckets of blood, I think you'll enjoy it.

The acting is terrible, the action is terrible, the story is terrible, the special effects are terrible but the gore is magnificent and that saves the movie completely... This isn't a horror movie that wants to spook you but wants to disgusts you... and oh boy, it really does... I've seen it on BIFFF festival at Brussels and I can assure you everybody loved it... the more bloody disgusting the gore was, the more fun we had... it didn't matter that it looked all fake like hell... and if you were looking for some originality in this movie, you would certainly find it in the gore. :-) So one advice: buy some beer and chips, and see this movie not alone but with some friends... a fun evening assured

Ami Hyuga (Minase Yashiro) lives a normal life... until her brother is killed by the Yakuza and some red-suited ninjas. Then she seeks revenge! Not strong enough, she is captured and tortured, losing her arm in the process. Again, she seeks revenge... this time with the help of a mechanic, his wife and her new Gatling gun arm. The ultimate in vengeance cinema.

The poster for this film makes the claim that this is the sort of film Quentin Tarantino wishes he could make. That comparison is about as dead-on as one could be, as the similarities between "Machine Girl" and "Kill Bill" are overwhelming. Woman getting revenge against a crime syndicate... fountains of spraying blood (more here than in "Bill") and even a Hattori Hanzo sword. Fans of "Bill" should be all over this like Homer Simpson on a doughnut.

Swords, chainsaws... throwing stars... the works. Blood, blood and more geysers of blood. Sadly, some of the film is computer-generated (pretty much the majority of the violence), but it didn't take away from the film as much as I thought it might. One enemy losing his face, another getting his head chopped (half) off... could have been done traditionally, but I don't think this was outrageously bad.

This film is a rush... cheer it on, soak in the violence, drink plenty of Scotch. I don't know what to say... it's just so much action, dark humor... it's like a cross between "Kill Bill" and "Battle Royale", though I wouldn't put it quite on "Royale"'s level... finding this film was a great stroke of luck, and you ought to hunt for it, too.

After her brother is murdered by a ninja-yakuza clan, a teenage girl seeks vengeance with her gatling gun. First and foremost, this movie has enough blood spray to fill Lake Erie. The death scenes are numerous, highly inventive, and extremely entertaining. The pacing is just about perfect, with the action scenes positioned within the running time in such a way that avoids any dullness. One surprising positive is the camera-work, which shows blood sprays for incredibly long periods of time. This is definitely a movie that soaks itself in excess. The story itself plays out rather seriously, but the black humor is laid on thick during the fights, so some laugh-out-loud moments are almost guaranteed along the way. This is a very satisfying action gore-fest because of its impressively long finale.

I've already heard some artsy snobs complaining about this movie in terms of character development. I'm just wondering why these tards even decided to watch this movie to begin with. They should have known exactly what they were going to get. You don't see the name Tsai Ming-liang on the DVD case, do you?

This really was my summer blockbuster popcorn flick of 2008. Everyone else can have their little CGI prairie dogs, animated monkeys, and space aliens. You can have your superheros, sequels, and remakes (can Hollywood think of anything new?). The fact remains that THIS movie should be playing on 3,000 screens! That will never happen in the USA though with it's dumb-as-dirt moviegoers who flock like sheep to see the most derivative tripe dished out by those Californian bloodsuckers. Do you people have ANY standards whatsoever?

On a positive note, that's another success this year in terms of my most highly anticipated films. "Chocolate" (a Thai action flick), "The Machine Girl", and "Tokyo Gore Police were all insanely entertaining. And maybe "High School Girl Rika: Zombie Hunter" can round out a great 2008 for Japanese Horror.

You don't get great stuff like this out of the States. Man, is there any reason to watch American movies anymore?