30,000 Leagues Under the Sea

We already knew that Lorenzo Lamas was a bad actor and not very bright considering the fact that he broke up with a fox like Shawna Sands but he had to go and confirm his stupidity by taking part in this film. It was horrible! Bad acting, bad effects, bad dialog and way too much face time for Lamas. This film had generally no redeeming qualities whatsoever. In addition, the film strayed so far from the original Captain Nemo storyline that they might as well have left out the Jules Verne reference altogether. Hollywood had a genuine opportunity to make something entertaining and redeeming in this age of environmental awareness and once again, dropped the ball.

Where to begin...where to begin.This movie is just plain bad...all bad. Every underwater scene looks unrealistic, the effects are terrible. I guess they really loved that low budget "light shining through a fish tank " trick since they used it in every scene possible. To bad there is no light as such at that depth. With the money they obviously saved in the F/X department you would have thought that they could have hired some decent actors. This movie was doomed the instant they put Lamas' name on it. The acting is stale, forced and very poorly scripted. Lorenzo Lamas' performance is pretty much like all his others...horrible. As for the rest of the crew they knew nothing of actual military procedures, terminology, proper dress code, etc..and I've seen better acting from an elementary school play (much, MUCH better in fact...and the sets looked better!)

Furthermore, it seems that everything that could be wrong with this movie...was. First, the Scotia "nuclear" sub with a bridge the size of a walk in closet?...wrong. It also had the steering and navigation controls of a 60's diesel submarine. Most of the "navy" crew walked around in ARMY rank.(There are no full bird colonels in the navy) Also, the navy lieutenants wear 2 bars (exactly like army captain's bars) as their rank. And for some reason "captain" Nemo wore a mix of US Army Major General rank, what appears to be an air force aviators device and a mix of army and air force commendations...and as the sole leader of this underwater waste of time who would give him commendations?

And, one would think if they had the "advanced technology" available, like the pointless "bubble-hammock", that they could have at least tried to make ANYTHING else look high tech. look at the scene where Lamas and crew are first aboard the nautilus...the bulk heads are made of plywood and they're CROOKED! Like any sub would be built this badly? Puh-lease.

Whatever you do ,don't rent this action-less, mindless, thoughtless and useless cinematic piece of bargain bin leftovers. You'd have a much better time watching paint dry. We can only hope that somewhere out there is a movie company willing to do a remake such as this the CORRECT way with all the attention and budget requirement's it deserves...and keep the "20,000" in the title. There's nothing impressive about changing one digit to further indicate how far you've sunk.

So, another movie from the infamous Asylum. A film studio who pound out these "Mockbuster" movies that are low budget rip offs of big Hollywood titles and release them at the same time to cash in on their popularity.

For example

The Day the Earth Stood Still > The Day the Earth Stopped Pacific Rim > Atlantic Rim Aliens vs Predator > Aliens vs Hunter Snakes on a Plane > Snakes on a Train High School Musical > Sunday School Musical

You get the idea. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact they're so incredibly dire!

I'm sure I don't need to say what 30,000 Leagues Under the Sea is a "Mockbuster" of but rest assured it doesn't use much of the material. A couple of character names (One they fail to pronounce correctly) and the Nautilus and that's as far as it goes. The entire movie is an embarrassingly bad entirely original story that has nothing to do with Jules Verne's classic works.

I've been binge watching every adaptation and this is the last one, what a way to end it on an absolute bottom of the barrel low.

It looks terrible, the cast are pitiful and this actually manages to be bad even for an Asylum feature. Bad, bad, bad.

The Good:

I like the bit where it ended

The Bad:

Expectedly poorly made

Some embarrassingly bad sound balancing in places

In no way is it based on Vernes work

Dreadfully paced

Cast are less than competent

I don't see why anyone would watch this. The CG is pathetic. The acting is very high school. Lorenzo Lamas? Why? Why? Why? This is no way to end a career or begin one. The actual story could have been something, but the money put in just wasn't enough. My advice to the actors of this movie... Please just try to be yourself. Read the script, make it your own. Saturday Night Live is for reading cue cards, OK? Do yourself a favor and rent an ed wood movie or even better, rent Robot Jox. I thought Lorenzo Lamas was worth watching at one time. I guess the 80's just slipped away. He ranks right up there with Michael Pare. I'm surprise he wasn't in this disaster. Go away bad movie, please go away!

I've seen better dialogue in the seediest daytime soaps, and the acting didn't improve it. The combination is too contrived and stiff to take seriously, and not quite campy enough to be funny.

Sean Lawlor as Captain Nemo seems to put in the best effort, while Lorenzo Lamas and Natalie Stone seem to be competing for the worst acting ever prize; their exchanges are inane in content, and stiff in delivery.

I can't for the life of me, find anything good to say about the movie. Just blabbering on to meet the "10 lines of text" minimum; two lines could have more than sufficed for this one.

This is one movie that never should have been made.