Conspiration

This movie sucked. I mean... wow. I surely didn't expect a masterpiece. But the actual level of suckitude left me speechless and almost breathless, as if my body was trying to rescue itself into sweet unconsciousness. It reminded me, and heavily at that, of Steven Seagal. But not the Seagal of "Under Siege" or "On Deadly Ground", who we all came to love. No, I mean the Steven Seagal who brought us straight-to-video suckfests like "Black Dawn".

Val Kilmer, like Seagal, is just a blimp, floating through the foggy remains of a story, while it rains wooden puppets. Who of course are the other actors in my weird little analogy.

Every little thing in this movie is bad and sucks in ways where there are no more words to articulate a warning. So let me just say this: DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE! Thank you for your attention.

Val's character maintains a deadpan countenance throughout being blown to bits in Iraq, lifelessly engaging with hookers, and then getting beat down mercilessly by hateful gringos in Arizona who murdered his war buddy & family in cold blood. Wickedness dominates throughout so that even when he finally fights back, its anti-climactic, although he does do some slick special ops ghost work on some of those slimey pukes. There's a scene where the ditzy chick points a pistol at the arch baddie, and instead of immediately squeezing off multiple rounds, she dialogs with him, yakkity-yakking long enough for a henchman to come up behind her and take the gun. That scene is representative of how hard this movie is to watch. All that can be said positively about this movie is that it has Val Kilmer in it.

First, let's get this straight: CONSPIRACY is a straightforward, modern-day remake of the Spencer Tracy classic, BAD DAY AT BLACK ROCK. Val Kilmer takes on the Tracy role, playing an outsider who arrivals in a small town to track down his missing friend. Turns out that everybody knows something, but nobody's saying anything.

I liked this film for the most part because it avoids clichés and it doesn't rely on cheesy action to propel the storyline. After the prologue, the first hour or so is engaging and suspenseful, building up a level of intrigue that most B-movies rarely attempt. There's an air of mystery hanging over the whole production and you actively want to find out what's going on.

Gradually, the story does fizzle out a bit as it progresses, and the last half hour resorts to the usual clichés: massive shoot-outs, showdowns in the desert, bad guys getting just deserts, and so on. The cast members are adequate for this production; Kilmer is at least trying as the former soldier suffering from PTSD, while Gary Cole can do this sinister villain stuff in his sleep by now.

The biggest disappointment is from Adam Marcus, the director. This is a guy who worked once since 1993's JASON GOES TO HELL, and his lack of experience shows. The dialogue scenes are passable, but the action sequences are hellishly bad. It appears they ran out of money for stunts or decent choreography because the action is all over the place and a real mess, sapping enjoyment at the showdown which should be a bit of glorious vengeance. Still, CONSPIRACY gets a lot of kudos from me for the first hour...

The good guys are good and the bad guys are real bad. Val Kilmer plays a one-legged Billy Jack in a nice twist on a story that will continue forever. Former special forces bad-ass who doesn't want to fight no-more gets roped into an evil environment (with a Dick Cheney clone as Darth Vader) and he finally gets pushed a little too far. He moves fast invisibly "Like a ghost" - with one leg. Works as well here as in old-fashioned radio theater.

Low-budget and thus sparse but well done with myriad close-ups and all characters as caricatures. There is no pretense of realism and thus it works as a comic book on screen. Screenplay, direction, camera work and acting are all at least interesting.

This film is a pale imitation of the Spencer Tracy classic. It lacks the injustice, irony and clarity of the original. The film also lacks the menace and stifling tension of the Spencer Tracy version.

Tracy was tougher though more vulnerable than Kilmer. The original contained startling, precise violence against realistic bad guys. Tracy remains fearful but steadfast. Kilmer is fearless but on his journey fights against cartoon characters and takes too many beatings.

Having said all that the film is quite entertaining. Val Kilmer portrays a tough marine well and the film builds up nicely to the final crisis. The end itself is a bit soppy.

The original Bad Day at Black Rock is probably one of the finest films ever made. It made important political and civil rights points about freedom and justice. This remake is not in the same league and is unnecessary. watch.