Life Blood

What a waste of time.I watched about 30 min of this poor film before I had to turn it off. Even the two hot leads did not make me linger on..

The script is so poor and contains so much repetition that I'm wondering if the writer just made use of the copy/paste function a bit too often while he was watching lesbian soft porn on the internet instead of coming up with a better story line. Lines like "What is happening?" or "I don't know what is happening" occur numerous times during the first 30 min of the movie, mostly uttered in blocks of 4 to 5 in a row. I wished somebody would throw her the script (at her head), that might have given her an insight. But then again..

Not only do the two lead characters make out frequently but also does god, appearing as a female, kiss one of the girls. I mean, WTF? Just don't bother watching it. It really, really isn't worth it.

I LOVE this film. Of course, it's completely over the top campy ridiculous . . . and incredibly entertaining! Sophie Monk absolutely nails her character, "Brooke", but that's not to take anything away from her counterpart played by Anya Lahiri. Everyone must have been having a good time making this film; I can't imagine anyone getting too serious while creating this production, but that's the whole point. Scary? No, not even remotely. Flawed? Well, any variety of "flaws" can be noted. But there's not a dull moment. Even the original soundtrack songs performed by Nicole Chase were quite decent, fit well with the mood of the film. No, this is not a "serious" vampire story by any stretch of the imagination, but is it fun? Absolutely!

Well, this flick was over before I knew it so that means I really enjoyed it. I would like to refer Bitchslap which is a bit in the same line. But here we have real scene's and not all green keys. The movie worked for me, you don't have to take it that seriously, as I watched the DVD cover you already knew they wanted to make an exploitation movie. I must say that it worked, the storyline is of course unbelievable but don't bother that. Watch it as it goes and see how two British actresses deliver the goods. Oh yes, Scout Taylor-Compton is in it but not that she has a main lead. She's maybe for 10 minutes into the movie. But indeed, it's a man's movie, with nudity from new star Angela Lindvall and a lot of nudity at a party but the perverts out there will be disappointed that Sophie Monk doesn't show anything. She's also a coming star and appears a lot in horrors and surely she's used to go full undressed like in The Hills Run Red but here she's just a sexy chick wearing almost nothing. Anya Lahiri, the other Brit doesn't show anything at all, and that's a bit a let down for many 'cause those old 70's flicks, the main lead went naked. But hey, there is blood running and that's the important part isn't it? It never becomes gory or to messy but if you are into grindhouse go watch it.

A blonde model, Brooke, and her good-natured brunette English girlfriend, Rhea, are at a New Years party in 1969. When an arrogant actor at the party apparently abuses a young fan, Brooke kills him brutally. As the two girls escape in a car on a desert road, Brooke runs over a rat or some creature. Now both girls flip out. She stops the car and Rhea has a breakdown. A small sandstorm appears and wipes out Brooke leaving only her clothes behind. Out of the sandstorm walks a masculine looking woman. It's god. God has a mission for Rhea- to fight evil. As a result she will gain immortality. But Brooke will be her challenge, she doesn't have a good heart.

40 years later they are resurrected at the same spot. A driver stops for a hitchhiker nearby and the two girls catch up. Brooke has an insatiable hunger for blood and devours the two much to the protests of Rhea. They escape in the car to a gas station where they try to hide from the rising sun. There, a poor attendant has to witness these two girls arguing. Brooke can't control her hunger and wants the attendant. Rhea wants to fulfill her mission since she is god's warrior. Somehow Brooke manages to kill Rhea. Other patrons show up, the police show up, but they are no match for Brooke. Until god reappears.

Life Blood sure has an interesting premise- vampires as avenging angels for god. However in this movie we don't get to see a lot of that. It's just about the two girls. And Rhea's challenge of dealing with Brooke. The cops and the store patrons are a Hollywood-correct diverse bunch of very silly people.

Despite the low budget, strange story, this movie is very watchable thanks to some nudity at the beginning, lots of making-out between the girls, and the excellent acting of the two leads. It could have been a disaster of a movie but the entire cast takes it seriously and they make it work. The script has some signs of intelligence. The arrogant actor gives an appropriate speech about society letting him get away with anything because he is a star, and he sure is going to test the limits of that submission by society. God also gives an interesting speech but it's as if a limited budget forced the filmmakers to go off course and tell a very limited story.

This "film" was made for people who were severely, nay - obsessively, disappointed that there wasn't more lesbianism on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." I mean, why else would anyone make this half-hearted attempt at a movie? The plot, as divined from the back of the Burger King bag upon which it was scrawled, involves God (!) coming down to earth to select an earthly avenger. (Seems people didn't learn from that whole 40 day flood thing and she's cheesed off again.) God's plan for the chastisement of humanity? Simple - make a randomly selected lesbian into an unstoppable vampire killing machine and send her out to smite the wicked.

Seriously.

Yes, that's the best plan an omniscient, omnipresent and omni-benevolent Deity could come up with - a plot that would have been rejected by the pea-brained corporate cretins who run cable TV. And SHE created US? And the world and everything in it? AND She screws even *that* up, if you can believe it. When her chosen earthly avatar pleads for the life of her lover, who also happens to be a psychopathic killer, God takes pity and turns her, too, into an unstoppable vampire.

Did I say 'omniscient?' Sorry. I meant 'dumb as a bag of hammers.' All that is just the set up for the ultimate battle between the scantily clad lesbians of good and evil. That makes it sound a lot more interesting than it is, since there wasn't nearly enough budget for an apocalyptic showdown. In fact, there was barely enough for a minor skirmish between the forces of nice and mean. The only upside to this apocalyptic train wreck is that the evil vampire lesbian gets to kill as annoying a bunch of bit players, extras and has-beens as has ever been assembled.

Certainly not enough to build a movie around, nu? But that's the real secret of "Murder World." It isn't really a movie. "Murder World" is poorly made masturbation material for lonely vampire-obsessed comic book collecting fan-boys. Everyone else - feel free to avoid this sticky mess like you would one of the Ten Plagues of Egypt.