Cross

Given incredible power by an ancient Celtic cross, Callan (Brian Austin Green) continues to fight evil... Now, joined by a team of weapons experts, Callan battles an unstoppable empire in Los Angeles.

I want to find the words to describe this film without being disrespectful, but it is just not a good movie. I see the potential, and some moments are better than others, but the film wavers between humor and seriousness with a cacophony of sound and juxtaposition of images that hurts the mind. Some films, notably "The Spirit", have balanced this well. This film has not. Would it make more sense if I had read the comic? Probably. But as a comic fan, I never heard of this one, so I think it is safe to say few people will know what is going on any more than I did. I learned a new word, though: Anzshlastic. Does it mean anything? Probably not.

Seemingly, the movie was made to coincide with the Green Lantern movie. Not that there is any connection, but someone here has a glowing green cross that gives him super powers. Sounds like another hero's ring. Beyond that, no connection, and the plot is a big mess. There is the concept of finding the bloodlines of the Greek gods. For some reason, only one person has the bloodline when you would think all their distant cousins would, too. And there are multiple villains, with little background offered about them.

The dialogue is written for a ten-year old. Sometimes we get decent one-liners (most of which come from Backfire, Jake Busey's character) and there was a good Gary Busey "Point Break" joke. But often we have everything dumbed down. Gunnar (Vinnie Jones) says over and over again that he is immortal and will be the last to die. Yeah, I got it. Did he have to repeat it? No. All this does is take a great actor like Jones and make him look like a fool.

The press release is far from accurate, too. It says "beautiful, young women start disappearing". Young, maybe. Beautiful? Hardly. And what is this about Gunnar being an immortal Viking? That never plays into the plot at all, and he clearly has an English rather than Norse accent. The only thing really going for this film is the cast. Besides those mentioned, we also have Brian Austin Green, Tom Sizemore, Michael Clarke Duncan, Danny Trejo, Lew Temple and C. Thomas Howell. How such a great ensemble ended up in this stinker is beyond me.

Nowhere in the press release or on the DVD cover is there a single quote from a review. Also, it arrived for me to review a week after it was released. This leads me to one conclusion: the people behind this film know it is not good and want to avoid more bad coverage (though, to do that, they should never have sent it at all). Possibly redeeming it is a director's commentary (I have not listened). There are deleted scenes, but those amount to single sentences trimmed from various spots. Why they were cut at all is beyond me. In short, avoid this film like the plague. Besides Jake Busey, it is a failure (and that is a sad thing when Busey is the best part of your film)

This film is a textbook case of "biting off more than you can chew." Which sucks because with a couple million bucks, it could've been something impressive.

The premise is actually promising: mythological-powered heroes sharing the spotlight with action heroes in a comic book universe as they save the world from supernatural threats. There are actually some clever and well-written lines and zingers in the script, and these are the lines usually best delivered. It also manages to not take itself too seriously, which makes it easier to digest. I'd argue that it's a direct descendant of "Adventure of Buckaroo Banzai" which makes it's failure all the more painful.

Unfortunately, the movie tries to do too much with too little. While half the cast is composed of well-known and very talented actors, the other half is composed of stunt men and friends of the director's, and it shows. The budget is woefully small for subject matter of this magnitude, and while there's some spirited camera-work and clever production schemes to compensate, it doesn't quite pull off.

The biggest problem is that the director didn't have what he needed to light it properly. Considering that the budget was likely under $800,000 it could have been anything: not enough lights, not enough money to get additional shooting days, or not enough money to keep the talent on longer than needed, etc. but the limits of the budget really show. The setups are nowhere near as dynamic as they need to be, the lighting is stark and practical, and the set design virtually nonexistent. The setups reminded me of a lot of mid-budget HD porn movies where they shoot the action head-on and in two shots to keep the borders of the set (and the warehouse beyond) out of frame.

The cast is staggeringly impressive; there's some real talent here, and Sizemore, Busey and Jones tend to have the best delivery of some truly underwhelming lines, but even their contributions can't distract from the fact that the film was so rushed that they didn't have time to learn their lines as well as they should. In the commentary, the director admits that Sizemore often had to learn his lines minutes before they shot a scene, so this probably happened more often than not. More than anything, it looks like Hollywood actors doing a favor for a film student and his buddies.

Visually, it looks like a cross between "Repo: The Genetic Opera," "The Batman XXX" parody, and the "Angel of Death" web series with Zoe Bell.

Still, the fact that the director managed to get the film made with the cast he did for the money he had and in LOS ANGELES (at God knows WHAT rates) is nevertheless impressive, and I have to respect him for that. Because the budget was so low, it's hard to tell how much of the film's failure is due to ineptitude or finance, so I'm not going to write off the filmmakers just yet. With more money and a larger crew, he might actually have done this (or the sequel) right.

It falls short of the "Buckaroo Banzai" level it wants to be, but its a digital age cult curio nonetheless. Perhaps not one of the best, but no less worthy of consideration.

Actually, I have to agree with the message board post - Cross is an "action-comedy". It is not advertised as an Oscar film. It is a comic book hero movie. And it delivers. The movie takes the fantastic and plays it for keeps. It is a comic book adventure of fun, magic, awesome action, and an amazing cast! Viewers have been spoiled by big budget action movies with too many special effects and not enough of a story - as if enough effects will make up for the fact that there was no character development or plot. However, Cross is a story with a pay off. It is an homage to the campy cult classics, but the first one to be stuck in the pages of a comic book.

I cannot work out if this film is that bad deliberately or worse that they didn't realise. The acting was beyond cheese, even rank stifling cheese. Not one member of the cast stood out as anything other than awful, wooden, reluctant and hardly present.

Maybe I'm being harsh, perhaps they did everything they could with a script that I'm pretty sure was written by a couple of 12 year old kids blitzed out in a comic book euphoric haze.

The score was bland and occasionally misplaced enough break what little concentration it took to focus on the film. If there was any directing I must have missed it, perhaps it took place after the credits. Special effects were special only in the way they managed to get some out of about a dollar ninety five and I'm sorry to say they didn't even get value for money.

I've tried and tried, for about 15 seconds, to think of any redeeming feature or angle to this film. I failed. Kind of suits the film really.....

I felt a lot of heart went into making this movie, but it just doesn't make the grade.

Cheesy one liners, though delivered well and fit the spirit of the movie well, still end up being cheesy one-liners.

Special effects were worse than what you would see in an episode of a Sci-Fi Channel original or TV episode like Stargate.

The only thing that got this movie beyond TV was the mid level, mostly washed up actors, who have been popular in the past, or were in good movies at one point in their careers.

Regarding Danny Trejo at the top of the Bill, he shows up for literally less than 20 seconds, and wasn't even part of the movie from what I could tell.

Names like Shark,Ranger,War,Riot,and Backfire make me think they did everything they could do put the movie at C or worse. It's like they didn't even make a pretension of trying to be better than that. Almost like they all got together and said "let's make a really good D-movie, and let's work really hard to make it that way!"

Anyways, to sum it up...The heart and hard work was there, and the acting mostly decent, but I feel with the cast and the story line it could of been better...Maybe even end up something of a cult flick, but it doesn't quite get there.