Bad Meat

This movie is nasty and dirty cheap, little horror flick, so nasty you would want to shower after watching it. It's super fun though, because it's so silly and over the top and actors are quite decent. Characters are mostly caricatures and over the top but still somehow done well. It's bad but it seems to be bad on purpose and it's fairly watchable.

However, it seems to be cut and it just suddenly ends with no answers. It's like they run out of funds or just didn't know how to end it or they wanted to leave us guessing. Whatever it was, I bet no one was happy with that ending.

Who was the survivor? Was that even human as no one could survive in that state, especially when we see what we saw at the ending? What happened to all involved? It just stopped.

BAD MEAT is a horrible little film, a zero budget Canadian flick that seems to have aspirations to be the next Troma film. Certainly it's a waste of time for all but the most dedicated of B-movie veterans, as it's cheap looking, badly written, highly clichéd, and full of bad taste situations.

Now, I'm not adverse to a little bad taste here and there, as long as it's required by the plot. David Cronenberg is one of my favourite directors, after all. But the level of bad taste on here is just infantile as the filmmakers go out of their way to offend the sensibilities of their viewer. Characters eat the titular meat and are subject to fits of copious vomiting before they eventually turn into bloodthirsty zombies.

The boot camp plot line - the heroes are a group of wayward teenagers, all of them stereotypes - is a poor one and barely gets off the ground before the nonsense begins. The vomiting isn't even the worst - a scene where a woman has sex with a muscled black guy by using a strap-on on him is one of the most pointless I've ever watched. Once the zombie action kicks off, very little happens, and the gore is surprisingly mild given the unpleasantness that's come beforehand. The film also runs out of budget before the end, meaning the story ends abruptly halfway through so that you don't end up knowing the fate of the characters (not that you want to) while other sequences are excruciatingly drawn out.

First of all, I am aware that "Bad Meat" suffered a lot of problems during its production. The original director Rob Schmitt was replaced by Lulu Jarmen, who was making her directorial debut (and first experience in film whatsoever according to IMDb.) There were also issues with funding, and at one point it was announced that the film had been canceled. So it was understandable that the final product would probably be a little bit shaky at times.

However, it still wasn't any less painful to see just how badly edited the film was due to its potential. The final cut of "Bad Meat" was less than eighty minutes long. After a very confusing opening sequence the film quickly switches to a clear plot about a group of unruly teenagers arriving at a Boot Camp run by over-aggressive workers. Although things soon go from bad to worse for as the staff begin to contract a disease, causing them to vigorously release every bodily fluid known to man and then turn into flesh-eating maniacs. It's fairly simple and it works, however it is continuously and rudely interrupted from brief clips developing from the opening sequence over and over again, which don't contribute anything to the storyline. I would later find out these were not added until the last minute after the original cast had finished filming, nor were they actually scripted (which does make a whole lot of sense seeing how awkwardly they are crammed in.) This could not be made more apparent by the abrupt manner in which the film just sharply ends and cuts to the credits, with no prior indication it was nearing the conclusion. In fact, at the time I felt that the film was really starting to get interesting.

The most frustrating thing about "Bad Meat" is that it was very fun to watch, and even if the opening and ending had been remotely logical it would have been a very solid horror film overall. Yet due to the merciless butchering it received in the editing room the final result is too short and too uneven to be considered a good movie.

My final rating - 6.5/10. The bulk of the film was thoroughly entertaining hence this rating, and despite the extremely shoddy editing, it is not a movie I regret seeing. Hopefully someone has another crack at making the plot clearer before publicly releasing it.

Well, to be honest the story of troubled youth going to some camp has been done tons of times. But, this one had a twist, but I shall get to that in a minute. I actually liked all of the youth characters. Each one of them had a unique personality, and of course there had to be some machismo with at least two of the guys. I mean, it's a bit cliché, but it really worked on this film. I really liked that there was a character that was brought up with high spiritual convictions, but thought they were a lesbian. There were three girls in the film. The ultra "Christian" the in the middle understanding one, but with a totally jacked up mind from her childhood experiences. This is the one I call the "silent but deadly" type, one you didn't want to get on your bad side. Then of course there is the mean "bad ass" girl who thinks she can take on the world, hates everyone, and who is the catalyst that sparks negativity throughout the film. My favorite character was the one Franco played. In my opinion, he was the most believable. The camp director was a Hitler wannabe, the other guards were sexual deviants who were just there to fulfill some sick sexual urges, and to be mean to kids.

Once the turning point happened to where the guards "turned" into what ever it was that they were supposed to be, that's when the movie became completely STUPID. Bad Meat had me up until then, and after that...no thank you. Also, the patient in the hospital, they really screwed that up, first off with the horrible acting, and secondly, it really made no sense.

This 2011 comedy horror film is brought to us by director Lulu Jarmen on her debut, and it comes from the mind of Paul Gerstenberger. 6 bad teens (3 boys and 3 girls) are sent to a bootcamp which is in the middle of nowhere. The bootcamp specialises in reforming bad/troubled teenagers into model citizens. It is run by Doug Kendrew (Mark Pellegrino) and his nasty wardens. One night the chef cooks up some bad meat which that staff all eat. The food makes them seriously ill, and an additional side effect it turns them into flesh-eating zombie like maniacs. From there on in the film become about survival for the teens as they try to avoid being put on the menu themselves. Some of the zombie-wardens are outright feral, some are S&M gimps stalking the kids. There is lots of bloodshed, plenty of gore, and a lot of vomiting too.

The premise of the film is not something new - it combines summer camp slasher, cannibal zombies, hillbillies, hostel, hunter vs hunted chases, and some typical American "kids will save the day" concepts. It COULD have been quite good, albeit tongue in cheek at times - but it wasn't. The problem I had with it was that it was hard to watch for the wrong reasons. The pace of the film did not work, the editing was shocking, and despite building up certain in-film events, NOTHING is resolved because the film just ends abruptly. The acting was not much to write home about either, this is due to the poorly conceived stereotypical characters being portrayed. I gave this film a chance because of the synopsis I read about it, and because Mark Pelligrino is amusing in the Supernatural TV series. Yes, one of the Franco brothers is in the film, but it is not one of the more interesting ones and he certainly does not have much of a role in this. Unfortunately, the film turned out to be a let-down.

I think, given more time and more investment this film might not have been that bad. Due to the production issues it had though, the film ended up being one that will be remembered for the wrong reasons, rather than being an underground cult classic. Yes, plenty of gore. No, to much else. Pity.

And now, just the like the end of film did, I'm going to... (drops mic - walks away)