Lesbian Vampire Killers

This is for everyone who didn't like this movie. What did you expect. Really, what did you expect? You went to see a movie called Lesbian Vampire Killers. It had the lesbians, it had the vampires and oh yes, there were killings. Okay, it wasn't the best movie ever. The style was kind of like heroes meets sean of the dead. But it was as funny as other good comedies, it kept me entertained from start to finish mostly because of the lesbians but that's neither here nor there and although the plot was simple it was a nice idea. Essentially unless you like lesbians vampires and killings, and unless you one of those people who sees Matthew Horne throwing a sword at the bad guy who is in the middle of his two friends and think 'that doesn't make any sense he could have missed and hit James Corden, why didn't he just stab the sword' instead of thinking 'wow that was kick ass' then don't go and see this movie because you won't enjoy it.

So I can't understand the poor rating for this film, except to think it was marketed to the wrong people (by accident).

What this film is not... 1) A horror film. There are no scares, it's not a fright fest. It's not even really what I would term "gory". 2) This is not Evil Dead, or Shawn or the Dead, but more like Army of Darkness. 3) This is not a porn film, there is little nudity, but if you like to see hot ladies, barely clothed, then...

What this film is... 1) Pure camp and all out laughs 2) lots of action and hilarious special effects. 3) An amazing soundtrack even for a high budget A movie. 4) Non stop memorable scenes and one liners. Based on a lot of reviews from IMDb, critics, and other sites, it seems many who watched this film expected something quite different. To me it's a modern day comic masterpiece Cordon as Fletch and McGann as the Vicar were my favorite characters. The beautiful lead vampires played by Silvia and Vera were amazing and right there as well. The rest of the cast (Mathew and Myanna especially) were also great and did just what they needed to do.

This movie is fun sober or wasted. Enjoy either way just take things a little less seriously...

The film is a continuous quote: Dracula, American Werewolf in London, Withnail and I, Ed Wood's films, Roger Corman's horror movies with Vincent Price (Paul McGann's excellent vicar's tone is very reminiscent of Price's in Corman's interpretations of Poe) and all the Hammer horrors with lesbian undertones.

More than just a spoof the film is in a genre of its own being a "spoof-of-a-spoof" like few others before. This can make it difficult to understand just what the film sets out to do if one is expecting a horror, it certainly is not a horror or an action movie. The comparisons to Shaun of the Dead are also a big red herring and not very helpful, as this is a much more Post-Modern citation exercise with references far wider and in many more genres; it's not simply a case of an attempt in emulating for vampires what the Romero zombie movies did for Shaun of the Dead, but altogether a much more varied and inclusive exercise. L.V.K also takes itself less seriously to a degree than one would not believe in a feature length film, but it manages to do so in a way that is very entertaining if one is prepared to fore-go most of the expectations of what a film should be about.

The writing could have been polished up further, it could have done with a final re-write to tie it all together, and this is the film's main weakness, but there is enough comedy in it to laugh every few minutes if one is prepared to embark on this journey of quotation spotting. Some of the lines are so outrageously camp that with different actors it certainly would not have worked, but the film has been brilliantly cast and even the most improbable lines are recited and acted with just the right level of irony.

The sound effects are one of the strongest elements, together with the lesbian vampires' epic hair-dos which are highly imaginative and an exercise in quotations in itself, a strong effort by the art directors in what is a low-budget movie that makes no apologies for it. Phil Claydon's directing is full of enjoyment, he is constantly joking with the cameras and choices of shots that are commentaries on a commentary, further spoofing Hitchcock in the shower sequence for example.

This is a film might require a specific understanding of the Post-Modern culture we are living in to be appreciated, or it can simply be enjoyed for what it is. It is neither violent nor scary, but this is not necessarily a bad thing and it might be here that lies its charm, those who will let go of politically correct preoccupations of what a film or a title of a film should be about will inevitably enjoy this light hearted comedy as it has plenty of opportunities to laugh out loud, if you are not too worried what the person next to you or the eminent critics will think of you and you just join in the fun!

The danger with movies with titles like this is that sometimes the title is all you get, and the movie doesn't really deliver. Well, "Lesbian Vampire Killers", directed by Phil Claydon and written by Stewart Williams & Paul Hupfield, fortunately does manage to be pretty entertaining stuff, although viewers reading the title and hoping for something REALLY trashy are going to be sorely disappointed.

The story is yet another borrowing of J. Sheridan LeFanus' "Carmilla", as the ancient vampire queen Carmilla (Silvia Colloca) and her many minions face off against easygoing duo Jimmy (Mathew Horne) and Fletch (James Corden). Also along for the ride are a quintet of hottie college students, including the adorable MyAnna Buring ("The Descent") as the appealing Lotte. Lending valuable exposition and dedication is the determined Vicar (Paul McGann, who's pretty bad ass).

As this plays out, one can hardly fail to notice that this works as a spoofing of Hammer horror period pieces, and it also quotes "Dracula", "An American Werewolf in London", and Ed Woods' oeuvre. It's lively, striking, well designed and lit entertainment with atmosphere to spare. It goes for the gross out a lot, but instead of blood spattering all over the place, the filmmakers go more for slime, pus, and the like. The actors play things as straight as is necessary, and Horne and Corden are a reasonably engaging pair even if they're no Pegg and Frost. McGann is fun as the heroic Vicar with the foul mouth; Colloca is a delicious villainess.

The movie is never terribly funny but it still may engender some smiles on the part of the audience. It ain't "Shaun of the Dead", but it ain't bad, either. It's stylish throughout and begins and ends with a flourish.

Seven out of 10.

This is without a doubt a movie all teenage boys wish they could have made. Dumb without a doubt. No real worth other than cheeky humor and showing off women in a tawdry way. But come on this is what the entire movie was about.

I hope that the budget wasn't all that much so that maybe they can do a sequel with werewolves so that Fletch can get what he asked for in this movie.

To all the people out there why slam a movie when the movie was made to be like this. It's not like they were trying to make another Dracula (1992). This was nothing but fun campy humor. And well done at that.