Debbie Does Dallas Again

After watching the classic cult film from the late 70s, one would think this 'sequel' would try to emulate it in some degree. Boy would they be wrong. Not only is the plot totally different, but the only thing they seemed to keep was a chick named "Debbie" and that they are cheerleaders. Well, I guess they were cheerleaders.

This film is totally devoid of a plot. Somehow some chicks die, including Debbie. And somehow Debbie goes to Hell. You can forget there being anything else worth understanding. They do dress in cheer outfits, but it seems to only be an excuse to waste time between sex scenes.

I don't think "Dallas" was ever mentioned. And the cheerleading was just awful. The cheerleaders looked more real in the original cult classic.

And besides Kina Kai, were there any non-Caucasians involved in ANY scene? Talk about lack of diversity. Even the original from the 70s was more diverse than this plastic android movie with all its fake acting and fake sounding lines. Not worth watching for any movie goer of any audience. "F"

Vivid Entertainment made many worthless followups to the '70s hit porno film, and even a dumb miniseries for Showtime. This stinker is merely a negative footnote in the illustrious career of director Paul Thomas, who should have stayed in bed.

Several contract stars are thrown into the mix: Stefani Morgan fairly uninteresting in the title role; superstar Savanna Samson guest starring as Miss Jones merely because the story takes us to Hell, where her character in PT's remake of the Damiano classic is residing; and Monique Alexander as the antagonist on the squad.

Thomas takes a campy approach that includes plenty of attempted black humor, starting off with comically killing off Debbie at the outset in a sex-innuendo related accident while practicing one of those acrobatic Tower of Pisa styled cheer stunts.

Fantasy element has dead Debbie played by Stefani getting a Heavenly gatekeeper (lovely scene stealer Penny Flame) to let her return as a ghost to help her team win a national championship. Film has very little cheerleading action, no reference at all to the city of Dallas, and about as much story content as an ex-lax TV commercial.

Fortunately brief, the fantasy scenes in heaven are shot by cameraman Mr. Jane Waters in Blurrovision, namely extreme soft-focus to the point of a blur. Main gimmick in the deficient screenplay has Debbie forced to return in a different human body (one of my least favorite ploys since Mr. Jordan/Heaven Can Wait junkers), a soul transfer into Becca, played by busty petite Hillary Scott. Both actresses get their requisite amount of XXX humping on screen despite this ridiculous "plot twist".

There's plenty of sex on display but the various set-pieces are poorly thought out and staged. For example we have four angels masturbating with dildos atop a cherry Red 1959 Cadillac convertible (the huge fins model) as principal players Morgan, Flame and lead cheer coach Derrick Pierce have a three-way. Even worse is an impromptu orgy in Hell with nearly the entire cast going at it, most of the studs wearing safe-sex condoms, though unusually for Vivid several sex scenes are staged bareback. One of my all-time favorite performers, Sam Ryan is completely lost in the shuffle as one of the masturbators atop the Caddy, typical of the over-long cast list that includes PT himself in a stupid walk-on as a slapstick priest.

The awards and nominations won by this clunker are strictly bogus, evidence of industry corruption rather than some semblance of quality on screen. The profligate approach of Vivid back in this time frame (picture has a July 2006 production date displayed, though IMDb apparently erroneously dates it as a 2005 release) is now extinct, so we don't have to worry about further monstrosities like this being foisted on the Adult Cinema audience.

I watched the scene with unforgettable and very much missed Sunny but here her beauty and dynamic attitude is totally wasted: like all Vivid productions of the early 2K, the quality has left: actually we have Sunny and a girlfriend making out on a wood sofa with toys but for whatever the reason, it happens by night, lights out! So we don't see anything except darkness: it's a bit like Jenna's orgy club in Burn and guessing what's happening is not the goal of those movies! So, trash