Splintered

SPLINTERED is a near unwatchable shot-in-the-woods slice of British horror, not to be confused with the excellent American horror flick SPLINTER, in which Shea Wigham fought a horrible monster at a gas station. This one has almost no story, just a bunch of unlikeable characters travelling out into the Welsh woods where inevitably they meet their deaths in various unpleasant ways.

It's the kind of story which is clichéd beyond belief, not that there's much in the way of story to begin with. The big reveal made me groan inwardly, thinking "not another one of THOSE stories". There's little to no bloodshed here, and little in the way of atmosphere or suspense either. The characters are very thinly drawn and none of them are in the least bit likable or interesting. It doesn't help that the cast members have been drawn from WATERLOO ROAD and the like. Looking back, I can't think of a single reason to bother watching this one.

An pretty average, modern Werewolf movie. Atmospheric in parts but the content is less stimulating. Worth watching I guess but the contents are already slipping from my mind. Too many better movies and more substantial examples, to get your teeth in (excuse the pun).

Great setting. Great atmosphere. Fairly sound premise. Creepy vibe. Too bad all this was offset by terrible writing and dialogue. Acting was hit and miss. Typical dumb moves by the principals and you can see every move before it happens.

Could've been worse but it could've been so much better. It's a good thing the heroine is so easy on the eyes because her character was totally unsympathetic. What a drama queen who manages to overreact to virtually everything. Her chief antagonist is even worse and the fact that they manage to get into some overblown nonsensical argument early on sets the stage for the idiocy that follows.

When it started out, it looked like it was going to be one of those movies where a monster chases some unlikable character through the woods. That's what the description made it sound like. Instead, a little way in it becomes some sort of gothic horror story about a werewolf? A crazy guy? Something like that. Most of it takes place in this dilapidated old...church? Insane asylum? Jail? The characters are thin and unlikable. The dialogue is bad. The story is meandering and makes no sense. It tries to tackle a serious issue to give it weight but it's so clumsy and ham-handed about it that the whole thing falls flat. Mostly, it's just boring. I spent the last half hour or so just waiting for it to be over already. Was that the end? No, it's still going. Oh, I guess it's finally over now. This is just a boring waste of time.

I saw the UK Premier in Manchester. Due to a technical hitch, no dialogue was audible for the opening ten minutes; initially, I hadn't realised that this was accidental - believing it to be an intentional method of creating an eerie tone. Then, the projectionists remedied the problem and started the film over a again: the clunking dialogue destroyed this potential eeriness and any pathos one might have felt for the lead.

"Splintered" failed to register in any sense: as a horror film, it wasn't frightening or emotionally resonant; one could not empathise with the protagonists; the acting was average-to-poor; the camera work and cinematography (aside from the closing frame - which looked relatively impressive and summed-up the main character's plight) generally added little; the writer's handling of a sensitive social issue was crass and perfunctory...

I can't recommend the film in any sense.