Hot Protection

I wish I could tell you the plot of this movie but it failed to have one. I can't believe I watched it all the way through. It garnered about 2 laughs from me. It had too much crude humor that left me with a bad taste in my mouth. Not to mention the bathroom jokes. Larry, played by Larry, is a cop(of sorts?) thinking that Madeleine(Ivana) is kidnapped when she is actually in the witness protection program. Craziness ensues and I can't say much else. It was hard to follow-or maybe it was because I kept zoning out during the movie. I love slapstick but I think I'll stick to Jim Varney's slapstick humor. There seems to be some similarity between the two comedians. The hat, the accent, the clothes(coincidence?) and the fact that they both did stand up and went to movies though Varney was a whole lot better. Let's just hope Larry doesn't start branching out into commercials. I say, stick with the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, which I think works best for Larry and please stop making movies. I'm afraid to watch the other movies that Larry has made. But, I watched this movie, trying to give it the benefit of the doubt. I did have an open mind, but I just couldn't like it.

I decided to watch this movie despite all of the bad reviews. It's a good thing I saw one review that said otherwise. I agree with that one single review out of all the reviews. It is definitely not a bad movie at all. I was laughing a lot while watching this movie and that doesn't happen to often with me. I've watched movies with high ratings only to feel like my time was stolen from me. So don't go by all the negative reviews that you see. I am not one of those that enjoy slapstick comedies much but this one has a thumbs up from me. Larry the Cable Guy was great in this movie. Although it was not believable (I watch movies to escape from reality) it was a humdinger.

Which was not very. I didn't want to watch this movie. I mean after Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector and Delta Farce, I nearly ripped my cousin apart for dragging me to see them. But I wanted to see a movie and this was just about the only thing that I had not already seen. I had to have a little hope since I'm a big Blue Collar fan. But, Witless Protection was packed with not-so-funny jokes and idiotic situations that only a certain buck-toothed, slovenly demographic will laugh at. If you were insulted by the preceding sentence, then this movie isn't for you either as it is offensive itself.

Jenny McCarthy is fun to look at. But that doesn't makes up for the rest of this "movie" in no way whatsoever. Stick to animated movies, Larry.

1/10

If you are a fan of the redneck then you will love this movie. Larry the cable guy plays the ultimate country, hick deputy. First he has a hot girlfriend, played by Jenny Mccarthy, which makes you wonder how he could land a girl like her, but that's before she starts talking. She loves all his critters too. Larry sees this hot blond, Madeleine, come in with several suits in a black SUV. His first thought is she's been kidnapped, so he kidnaps her. They get chased by the FBI all the way up to Chicago. Madeleine is a witness. Larry thinks the FBI guys with her are corrupt. He basically gets all these ideas from watching TV shows like cops. And Madedleine has some sort of key and they are looking for a computer disk. It was sort of confusing.

Basically, if you watch this, forget about the plot because the movie is all about the redneck jokes. While I didn't find it LOL, it was still amusing. Better than a lot of comedies.

FINAL VERDICT: If you like " you might be a redneck if"jokes, then this movie is right up your alley. If you don't like hill billy's then, I say skip this film.

Larry the Cable Guy (Daniel Lawrence Whitney) is an excruciatingly funny stand-up comedian. He knows how to hit a mark. It's obvious he's disciplined enough to fulfill all the requirements of doing a workmanlike job in front of a camera.

Yet.

Doing a movie with this level of scripted awfulness is a witless and heartless crime. Why is stupid acceptable? Why waste "Larry?"

Because there are enough lunkheads who will pay from seven to ten bucks to see this trash in a theatre (we thought we'd take a chance on it, using a Netflix gift membership, so it wouldn't cost us anything).

Witless was the perfect adjective.

And no amount of Jenny McCarthy's skin could make this movie any better.