Pirates of Ghost Island

Possibly one of the worst movies I have ever seen - and I have seen a lot!!

The plot is stupid, lacking intelligence and could have been written better by a three year old moron. The acting is a six letter word none of the people involved in this misery of a movie have ever heard of. And the costumes - well I have seen better at kinder garden plays. I don't mind watching low-budget, moronic movies (like 'I bought a vampire motorcycle' and 'Sgt. Kabukiman, NYPD'), because I usually find them rather amusing (much to the dislike of my friends) - but this one? If I ever told anyone to watch it, I'd be certain that I would never see them again. I love movies and usually try to find the best in them - even when it seems terribly hard - but there is absolutely nothing good or even slightly positive about this movie. I would rather have open brain surgery without anesthetics for a couple of weeks than laying my eyes on this 'movie' ever again. I almost feel like I should apologize to the people behind this production because of my harsh comments... but actually they should be apologizing to me (and everybody else) who wasted precious time of their lives watching this... this... well - you know what I mean. Anyway - if you get the chance to see this movie.. go do something constructive instead - like cleaning your stairway with a toothbrush or count the hairs on your head... It'll be so much more worth while...

Sometimes a movie comes along that makes you sit there and go 'wow!' This is one of them. I can only imagine that this movie was made on a bet. No one, and I mean no one involved in the making of this movie will ever list it in their resume. Frankly I'm surprised that those involved haven't attempted to hack into the IMDb database to remove their name(s). Maybe they have tried, I don't know. It's a tossup whether to call this movie a horror flick or a comedy. To call it a comedy excuses much of the acting and special effects (esp. gratuitous amounts of candy apple red blood splashed all over people). These scenes evoke a lot of laughter so I guess it was meant to be a comedy. In one scene for example some babe in a bathing suit is attacked by some tree branches which calls for the candy apple red blood dousing. In another scene a fearsome(?) pirate unsuccessfully tries to scale a cliff and rockets past the viewer downward as if he were shot out of a cannon. Repeated DVD player playbacks of this scene alone justify the movie being considered a comedy. I can go on about it but I think you get the idea. Would I watch it again? No, I think there are worse movies out there that are much better to watch. If you know what I mean.

I cannot believe this film is in circulation. It has the talent and budget of a middle school film project. The special effects are certainly "special" but not in the positive sense of the word. When I checked out the actors I saw that a lot of them had a filmography of 1.

There are some films which are so bad that they're good and go on to be cult classics. This is not one of them.

I have, however, been encouraging people to watch this (as long as you can do it without having to pay money), because it has to be seen to be believed. I can go on about how bad it is but you need to see it so that you can watch in wonder at something which is truly appalling.

The comments already posted for this movie suggest enough to describe how bad this movie is. Getting through it was truly a test of endurance. If you must see it for whatever reason, I suggest turning it into a drinking game. One is called "Fact is". One character says it almost every time he speaks; by the 18th time I was wishing for his death. Another game is "I really wish we could go home right now," the favorite line (no less than 5 mentions) of the blonde girl in the red bikini. Now that you're good and drunk, take time to take in the dime store costumes, props, and effects: pirate costumes from the party store, tiki torches from the hardware store, cut off limbs shown by burying the severed part in the sand and then sprinkling red syrup on the "stump", etc. Just don't expect coherent acting, character development, or plot. I want my hour twenty back.

"the sea sometimes has a destination of it's own."

You may or may not notice something wrong with the above statement. It appears during the intro of this "film". The apostrophe does not belong. One sees a lot of this sort of thing in forums and chatrooms, even occasionally in an advert, but never as part of a film. After seeing that, I knew what was coming.

Even so, I wasn't prepared for some of the worst acting I've seen in years. I've seen much better performances in porno films.

At first I thought it must be a spoof or some sort of comedy, but by 15 minutes into it, there was no doubt that they were playing it "straight". If it were a comedy, even an unintentional one, there could have been some reason to sit through it. Alas, no such luck.

The women aren't even good enough looking for there to be any interest in that department.

The fact that it was shot on camcorder is ultra-obvious to anybody, and shakily hand-held at that.

Believe me, this makes Uwe Boll's stuff look Oscar-worthy. The acting makes Dolph Lundgren look like Johnny Depp.

I can't come up with enough superlatives to convey how bad this really is. If the budget went over $100, it would have to be because the camcorder rental came to more than they expected.

Unfortunately, this board doesn't allow for minus ratings, else I'd give it about -7. Avoid this no matter what.