The Chosen One

The Chosen One is quite simply terrible. I'd try to dress it up a bit for you, but the bottom line is if you value your time even slightly, then don't watch it. I'm no movie snob, I don't think a movie has to be life changing to be good, but this movie was so bad that it actually made me angry. The script is all over the place, completely disjointed, and when it comes down to brass tacks, quite simply boring. I'm finding it difficult to gather the motivation to explain to you why it's so bad, because its wasted so much of my time already. Suffice to say, one hour into the movie I was begging for something to happen, I forgave it at this point because it didn't bare the formulaic hallmarks of what you'd expect from Schneider. An hour and a half into the movie and I was wishing that it was formulaic...any form would do. It just switches from weak comedy to pointless, tenuous emotional tragedy and neither of these gets enough time to do a complete job. I reckon Schneider was attempting to convince the world and his peers that he was capable of more than cheap laughs, and this was his attempt to showcase his acting ability, and thats exactly how it came across; as a showcase, with no adjoining theme. After watching it, I couldn't sleep because I was worried that other people would have to sit through this utter shambles of a movie if I didn't do something to warn them off, so consider this a free favour. Watch it if you must, but don't say I didn't warn you.

When you think of Rob Schneider usually two things come to mind.

1. Small cameo in an Adam Sandler movie 2. Mediocre comedy good for a few laughs but overall a disaster However this movie is surprisingly compelling. It's not a comedy but simply a really nice story. Rob Schneider is a care salesman who is living a completely empty life. His wife has left him, he drinks all the time, he has no real friends and he is pretty much utterly frustrated with his life However things started changing when one day 3 holy man from a south American tribe and their interpreter Marissa played by the wonderful Caroline Gomez come to his life. They tell him that he is The Chose One who is meant to save their tribe.

He reacts like any one of us would react and dismisses them. However he is a truly nice guy and tries his best to help them feel comfortable and return back to their home. This slowly starts changing him and this is done in a really great way.

And of course there is Steve Buschemi who is great as always I didn't expect to like this movie or at most I expected a few cheap laughs. But I was wrong. It was a really good movie and I recommend it to everybody :)

It's as if everyone in the film was acting in a comedy... except Rob Schneider, who played it totally straight. Not straight in a funny way like he was the straight man in a comedy. I mean he played it straight, as if he were in a serious drama. My reactions were; confusion, disappointment, irritation... and finally... well, after finally seeing that Rob was doing a darn fine job of dramatic acting (even though this was marketed as a comedy) I fast forwarded to the end, then ejected the DVD.

My final thought was, "Boy, he must have been mad at the director or something because it was like he intentionally ruined that movie by playing everything too straight." Rob is not a stupid guy. He had to have known he was screwing up what could have been a funny little comedy. Weird. I must say though, if his performance could be cut out and pasted into a drama it would have been very impressive.

I was going into this experience prepared for another one of Schneider's comedies such as Male Gigolo. I was pleasantly surprised by how much this wasn't a typical Schneider movie. Although it wasn't a very good movie it had some moments of fine acting from Schneider.

The character he portrays is going through a crisis in which he has lost his wife to a yoga instructor. On top of that he isn't really enjoying his work anymore. So he tries to commit suicide, something his father tried as well but unlike Schneiders character actually accomplished. In the midst of what is going on in his life, four people from a south American tribe show up at his doorstep and tell him he's the one to save the world.

Judging by the outline of the plot it isn't really easy to tell what kind of movie it is. Especially when the movie is said to be a comedy. But for me it was a better than expected. The moments when Schneider's character was vulnerable were in my opinion his best work to date. I could have done without the small gestures of comedy though, for it would have been a much better film if it was taking itself a little more serious.

Now, the movie itself is quite weak. The story is a bit much and over the top. The comedy is for the most part shoved right in there without proper tact. The dialog is so hollow that it is used solely for the purpose of moving things along. Even the compositing with green screen material looked like it was done by an intern. But damn it if the monologues from Schneider didn't get to me. Those were delivered with such heart and compassion that it almost saves the movie for me. But in the end, that is all there was to praise the movie for. And although it isn't enough for me to actually buy this DVD, I will await the next Schneider movie hoping it to be made with the amount of heart Schneider's has proved he has and not just another vehicle to keep his name going.

I found the above description on this movie's board on IMDb, and it's better than anything I could come up with.

This is relevant because anyone expecting a typical Rob Schneider movie (The Hot Chick, Deuce Bigalow, Big Stan) will be very disappointed, or worse, depressed.

Rob Schneider plays Paul, a depressed alcoholic car salesman who tries to kill himself after being dumped by his lady. 3 shamen and a girl from Colombia find him, claiming he's the chosen one who will save their mountain. Paul then faces a series of situations at work and in life which help him make an important decision.

I certainly didn't expect a movie like this, as it is very bittersweet, and potentially a career-destroying move. But it has its heart in the right place, it feels honest, and I believe it must be commended for that.

Unfortunately, I can't say it's very good movie. "The Chosen One" looks cheap and feels very disjointed, with special effects that look like the ones found in Discovery Channel's documentaries from ten years ago. The pacing is weird, everything seems a little bit "off" and "direct-to-dvd".

The few comic moments are mostly black humor, and almost all of them are in Steve Buscemi's scenes. He's a top notch actor, and his superior quality clearly shows here when he elevates the whole movie to a whole new degree.

But I did like it, amazingly, and can certainly recommend it to people who need a little more light in their lives.

Just don't watch this thinking it's a comedy.