Le chien milliardaire

I would be proud of my child if they wrote this screenplay in high school. The fact that somebody is supporting their career with this is genuinely disturbing. It's loaded with Sandler levels of sophomoric humor, which I could do without - though there are plenty who eat it up and that's fine.

And yes, I get that it's a kids movie. But come on, there's more mental sustenance in a happy meal. If movies were food this would be the equivalent of serving Crisco, baking soda, sugar, and eggs and calling it chocolate chip cookies. It's missing some key ingredients, is nauseating to many, and revered by few.

Whether you are a kid or the parent of a kid, chances are that when you watch "Dog Gone", you'll experience a severe case of deja-vu. Echoes of other movies - much better movies - will rear their heads throughout. The movie that it copies the most is "Home Alone", but this family movie also rips off "Caddyshack"! Maybe this rip-off could have worked, but unless you are a kid - a really REALLY little kid - this movie is tough to sit through. It's so broadly played by its cast that you can't get involved with the main protagonist and the dog that he cares about. It's also at times so badly directed and edited that it takes you a few seconds to realize what just happened. And I won't get into the bizarre casting of Garrett Morris as the town's police chief. As I said, maybe really little kids might like this movie, but come on parents, surely you can find something better to entertain your kids!

Owen (Luke Benward) is just-about-a teenager and is a wizard at invention. He has perfected a way to catapault papers on his paper route right into the hands or the porches of his customers. In addition, he has a secret hideaway tree house in the woods nearby, with many booby traps set to keep unwanted visitors out. Rumor has it that there is a hermit in the woods but only Owen truly believes this. One day, the boy's parents go away to a convention and Owen's older sister Lily is in charge. The two siblings get along in most respects, although they trade barbs now and then. Meanwhile, three thieves have abducted some diamonds and hidden them somewhere in a dog's collar while they travel miles and miles to meet their "buyer". Leader Blackie (French Stewart) has dressed in an Nun's habit to be "incognito" while his co-horts rent a conspicuous pink and white 50's car for their travels. Naturally, these men pass through Owen territory. Owen guesses at once that the dog is dognapped and he manages to lure him away from the three dimwits. Now, the trio is after Owen but they are up for the fight of their lives! Remember, Owen has the inventions to make these guys suffer boings on the head and many, many mishaps. Who will end up with the dog? This adorable family film has high production qualities, an engaging cast and darling dog, wonderful sets near Cheney, Washington and more. Most of all, it has French Stewart who is one of the funniest actors on the planet and will delight audiences with his comic delivery. Anyone searching for the next family night happening with do well to chose Dog Gone.

At first I was going to say this is a harmless film for kids. Still, it was rated TV-PG-V when I saw it. I thought this was overly cautious because I've seen far worse with the same rating and a different font (TV PG with one font seems to be less family-friendly than TV-PG with a different font). I was also going to say it is a family movie which is not offensive other than possibly making anyone over the age of twelve feel dumber after seeing it. But no, the last few minutes can be compared favorably with the classic "Home Alone". And Owen's scientific abilities exceed those of Macauley Culkin's character. Plus we have an amazing thrill ride and a touching conclusion.

Owen tries to help the dog but it is clear our heroes don't want him to, and the results are comically painful. Also, hiding the dog from Lilly creates some opportunities for comedy.

When the cops don't believe Owen, that's fine, because the movie would have been over way too soon. A lot of wacky adventures are still to come, and the wackiest are coming toward the end. With lots more gadgets and plenty of physical comedy. And it is revealed whether there is a Mad Man of the Mountain.

The squirrels are quite realistic but still look animated. Same for the hornets, Stinky the Skunk, and Bill Murray's nemesis from "Caddyshack".

Did I mention how stupid the villains are?)

I don't think anyone will be watching this movie for the acting, though the girl playing Lilly stands out, and of course French Stewart does what he does best, which is playing incompetent morons. And he's the smartest of the three. Anyone who likes watching moronic bad guys get what they deserve should be happy. And there are several really funny gags like one involving a hot waitress in shorts. On the other hand, Owen's mom is entirely too perky. But we don't see much of her. Garrett Morris of "2 Broke Girls" doesn't really impress here.

It's like I said. This is a kids' adventure. Very funny and lots of fun, and not really harmful.

The movie drags on and on and frankly the plot has been done way better before many times.

The story is written very thinly and the characters are very much uninteresting.

Adult acting is broad and silly. The movie don't really ever know if it wants to be a full fledged comedy or something else.

Also, the bad guys look like cartoons.

In all I'd say stay away.

It's hard for even kids to keep their interest watching this fiasco.

It's truly a boring movie. I can't even recommend it as background noise.