The Morgue

A country mausoleum janitor tries to help a group of stranded people survive the night in the apparently haunted mausoleum, but one by one they start disappearing.

What can I say about this disappointing film? Annoying editing and fade effects. An ending twist (roll eyes) so obvious and overworn that you've already probably guessed it. Awkward pacing. Characters behaving EXTREMELY unnaturally. I mean so unnaturally that you'll find it hard to suspend disbelief. And the filmmakers never give us a good idea where the characters are in the structure. Sometimes they walk through long corridors to get to a location, and then other times it appears to be next door.

There are no real scares, not even startling moments because the hoodie-wearing killer just kind of appears in scene. All kills except two are offscreen.

And the ending drags on and on.

This could have been so much more - even with the lame twist it could have been a better movie. With some better editing (or maybe this was all the editor had to work with?) and with more natural character actions this could have been worth a rental.

For the most part, I enjoyed this film. I liked Margo, the main character. I just didn't like the ending at all.

While working a routine shift as a morgue janitor, a woman finds the quietness interrupted by a series of individuals running from a deranged killer and must find a way to stop his rampage and get out alive.

This was just an overall bland and really problematic effort with a lot wrong with it. The biggest issue with this one here is that it doesn't seem to know what kind of film it wants to be as there's so many different elements scattered throughout here that it really doesn't make cohesive sense all the way through. The initial impetus here is that this is a ghost/slasher type of effort, especially with the sightings around the grounds and the backstory of the killed worker providing this with enough of a feel that there's a pretty dark atmosphere here covered through this, yet it's all dropped in the middle with no rhyme or reason to become a psycho-stalker type effort before it's all finally revealed as a nightmarish supernatural-inclined fate-altering type of horror film that really fails to connect these together. This really could've done something good with the ghost/slasher effort by actually making good use of it's spectacular setting in the darkened, seemingly-endless corridors inside a morgue that's just utterly dripping with manic chills. However, each of these different scenarios that play out here are just wholly glossed over without the film really giving it a chance to play out as it shifts from each one to the other so that when it does do something incredibly spooky as the fateful journey through the woods only to wind up no matter what direction chosen to be back at the front-door of the building the effect comes off as confusing moreso than actually chilling the way the concept should've come off. On top of that, the film goes into a ten-minute epilogue actually spelling out everything along the way to showcase how all the events in the film actually played out and how they impacted their real-life counterparts which is just endless and goes on for far too long than this type of reveal really should, beyond the fact that the film actually should've ended ten minutes before as that set-up made for a more perfect ending than what's delivered. These do manage to harm the few good points about this, as beyond the spectacular setting used here the nightmarish quality of many of the stalking scenes in the final half do work quite well. The chases down the long corridors, the killer continually bursting out from behind corners or creeping up unsuspectingly behind them or just plain running throughout the building, these scenes are quite fun and certainly provide this with workable elements that could've been better utilized in a better film.

Rated R: Graphic Violence and Graphic Language.

I gotta start off by saying, we only paid 1 single American dollar, and I have to admit, I should have tried to haggle them down to letting me just take the movie, bring it home, ritualistically sacrifice a goat and exorcise the stupid out of it. Watching a movie such as this is like watching the death throws of a yak with cerebral palsy. The movie has a random Jedi in it that decides to kill himself rather than try to get anyone to go to the dark side. The other characters are laughably stupid, oblivious to the obviously bad/stereotypical scenario that they are thrust into. The soundtrack sounded as if it was made for a Zombies Ate My Neighbors port for the Gameboy, as all it did was make you want to curl up in a ball and fill your ears with the lard of an adolescent raccoon to attempt to cancel out the sound. The directing and editing were equally bad, making one wonder as to how any sane person can say the movie is finished and ready to be viewed by people other than villagers from Zimbabwe who can't understand that what they are watching on this magical box of light is complete and utter lion crap. I wish now that I could go back in time if not to stop myself from renting it, than to at least stab out my eyes with a soldering iron and remove my eardrums through my anus. God bless you if you made it through this movie without trying to choke yourself to death with the DVD case, I wish I had. Please, for the sake of your children and their children, don't watch this movie. We can't let this make any of it's money back, lest we may unwittingly green light a sequel. I'm serious, don't...

Folks, I've got sad news to deliver to you: never before in my whole life have I seen a more terrible movie. It's hard to even pinpoint what exactly is wrong with it because it is just so random and pointless. Let me put it as plainly as possible:

• The acting is awful. Just plain bad. It could be because the script was written so poorly with things like, "We need to leave." "Okay." But wow, it's just uninteresting and so so boring.

• The idea for the plot SEEMS interesting, like they had something going, but then it just leads itself into more "filler scenes", with no point, leaving you wondering "What the heck is going on"

• The movie ties itself together, but the problem is that its randomness leaves you puzzled.

• There is NOTHING scary about this whatsoever. The fact that it is rated 'R' leaves me in total awe. I was waiting for moments in any good horror/thriller, like something that actually makes me scream out loud or something, but the only things that happen are characters getting hit by shovels and whatnot. What gives?

• It claims there is an "astonishing twist" but is hardly original or even creative.

I want my money back, this is absurd. Unfortunately, I had gone to the store to rent this movie, unaware of how bad its rating here is, and how virtually unknown it is. A clue to that could have been that the actors aren't that well-known either.

Bottom line, DO NOT see this movie. It should have never been made. I would never recommend it in a thousand years. I wasted 82 minutes of my life. It's just so poorly written, badly acted, and horribly executed. Make sure the next time you see a movie, check it out and make sure it does well in the ratings, unlike this one.

1 out of 10.