Children of the Grave

Ok there is some historical interest in the programme but, I can't get past how padded out and silly it is. The 'extreme ghost hunters,' a couple of heavily overweight blokes wearing dark military style gear topped with black military style berets. Im ex British army so, yeah - I can't really write the words here I'd use to describe that pair of... tankers.

Anyways. If you're travelling or watching it in a quiet office/work place on a weekend or something - or your heavily interested in the subject matter then yeah, it's tolerable. But, this show stretches credulity to say the least. Only watching it myself because I'm extremely tired but it's too early to go to bed.

The Booth brothers have had a long career in soft-core porn, but in this stinker, they've branched out into "documentaries" about the paranormal. I put "documentaries" in quotes because usually documentarians at least make some effort to depict real events. I guess stars Keith Age, John Zaffis and Steven LaChance (billed as an "extreme haunting specialist" whatever that is) did actually visit the locations depicted in the film, but that seems to be where the connection to reality ends.

There is so much wrong with this film, I'm tempted just to put it in a list. I did, in fact, make a list as I was watching it, and Googled some of the claims made, just to see if it added up. Some of what they said actually was factual, but a large portion of the information presented was simply fabricated. It doesn't start well when the star, paranormal grandstander Keith Age, interviews a woman in a cemetery who seems to be some sort of expert. You'd think she'd dress a little nicer, but hey. Age asks her leading questions about the local orphanage, rather than getting actual information from her. Later, footage from old silent films is shown in such a way that the viewer is led to believe that this is actual footage from these old orphanage. The filmmakers also present the fact that many children died in this orphanage as evidence of some sort of wrongdoing, ignoring the fact that many children died even in loving homes before antibiotics were available. Also, the "unmarked mass graves" Age talks about date to 1918, a year the filmmakers and Age didn't bother to research. It was the year of the flu epidemic that killed millions.

Then there's all the footage of various video and audio tricks and effects, done like a goth-metal music video. My particular favorite is that of a Yamaha audio mixer with all the sliders mysteriously zipping down to zero. (the sliders on Yamaha digital mixers do that when you reset them). The bros Booth also need to hire a better script supervisor, because their titles and other text are rife with misspellings ("he 'through' her doll into the fireplace"), odd capitalization and misuse of its/it's ("The US Military occupied the building, where it interrogated 'it's' Nazi POWs."). Which brings me to another point. The Booths play fast and loose with the facts. At the Pythian Castle in St. Louis, a title says POWs were kept there, but Wikipedia and the castle's own web site tell a different story. The army used the castle as an officers' club, and prisoners were kept at a hospital behind the building.

Speaking playing fast and loose with facts, one Rosemary Ellen Guiley is interviewed in the film, and introduced as a Ph.D. That's a pretty straightforward piece of information, so I went to her web site. There is no mention of her earning a Ph.D. Seems like a pretty good credential to leave off your bio. To confirm, I went to Dissertation Abstracts, a database that lists pretty much every Ph.D dissertation published in US. No Rosemary Guiley. I found Carl Sagan and Newt Gingrich's dissertations, though! I could go on, but it's really tiring going over all the "evidence" they fabricated. I realize that they may have dramatized some of it for effect, but there really is a lot that's faked, and to me that's fraud. If you don't have adequate evidence, don't make a documentary. Reality is interesting enough without fakery. So, unless you like cheese ball effects, portly paranormal investigators dressed in paramilitary fashion and a lot of misinterpreted BS masquerading as "evidence" steer clear of this turd. It might be worth watching for sheer ridiculous entertainment, though; a "Plan 9 From Outer Space" of paranormal documentaries.

Children of the Grave (2007)

*** (out of 4)

Extremely creepy documentary that takes a look at various places said to be haunted by children. Using re-enactments, experts as well as on the location shooting, this documentary takes us to various locations said to be haunted and this includes a creepy orphanage in Indianapolis where 699 children were buried together. Another location is an orphanage that was used to interrogate Nazis during WW2. Finally, one of the last stops is in St. Louis on a place called "Zombie Road" where there have been multiple murders, drownings, deaths and perhaps Satanic sacrifices. Once again a film like this should have one goal and that's to make the viewer feel creeped out. This film pretty much had my blood turning cold from start to finish because there's some pretty creepy stuff here that's also mixed in with a lot of sadness because so many of these children were either physically or sexually abused. Hearing thoughts on why children might not "pass on" was rather interesting and I found the entire documentary handled the subject matter with care. We have "modern technology" that's suppose to bring us closer to hearing voices of the dead and I personally don't buy into this equipment too much. I've seen it in various shows and personally, I don't but it but this didn't take away from the film. The stuff on Zombie Road was extremely creepy especially some of the photographs captured. There are several photos of actual ghosts that were taken including one of JonBenet Ramsey that I had never seen.

Children of the Grave did seem interesting, so I checked it out, and if I were to be honest I am still not entirely sure what to make of it. Sure it is reasonably entertaining, with a resolutely creepy atmosphere particularly in the Zombie Road segment, great shots of the graveyard and buildings, the whole orphanage/lost children idea was interesting and did make me emotional thinking about it and reasonably convincing child actors. On the other hand, there were a number of times where I didn't buy the "evidence"'s credibility(especially the supposed ghost evidence), coming across as vague, the editing jumps around all over the place, there are scenes that felt like overlong filler rather than evidence and the music is overbearing. All in all, not a bad way to pass the time I suppose, but I am still perplexed as to what I actually think of Children of the Grave. 5/10 Bethany Cox

I had hoped that the Booth Brothers would have matured as film makers, and ceased depending on cheap theatrics, constant "scary" and quick cuts, since Spooked. They haven't. I'm upset that I'll never get that time back, as it was wasted. I could have spent the time watching paint dry, and been far more entertained.

The investigations shown are minimally sound. This could be due to the poor editing, but I think it's a combination of bad editing and poor investigative process. These are supposed to be "experts" but there is nothing cutting edge, progressive or redeeming in regards to the investigative techniques. The use of child actors was unnecessary. Most of the evp's I would never present as evidence of any kind, as they are just too ambiguous and indistinct. And what is the deal with the pseudo-commandos of PTF/MPR. No one is going to take a 350 pound wanna-be ghost commando seriously.

The Booth Brothers need to get back into the porn industry, it's apparent that they have no talent filming a documentary of any kind. Value your time. It would be better spent watching Pee Wee Herman.