American Ninja: The Magnificent

Pierre Kirby, star of other Godfrey Ho classics such as Zombie vs Ninja and Full Metal Ninja, headlines in this hilarious outing which must surely rank as one of the very finest of its cut and splice kind. In it he appears as Ferris, a ninja pupil who sets out to avenge his master's death after he is murdered by Ross, a fellow pupil who has secretly aggregated a small ninja army loyal unto him. Meanwhile, in a completely separate plot (and film!) another pupil, Lee embarks upon a mission of revenge against the intriguingly named Old Fox and Kong.

Via a spot of editing magic our old pal the Ho'ster weaves the two tales together (somewhat less than seamlessly!) and tries (in vain!) to convince us that Lee was in fact also a pupil of the murdered Ninja master and that his motivation is also retribution for his preceptor's death(!)

Did I mention that somewhere in the mix there is a sub plot involving clay pottery? No? How is this plot relevant? Erm...I haven't got a bloody clue!!!

Still, the 'plot' very much takes a back seat to the numerous fight scenes in this which ostensibly make up about 99% of the films running time! Hardly a moment seems to go by without either Lee getting into a major scuffle or else, and much more fun – Ferris taking on Ross's decidedly obtuse ninja cronies.

If you've ever had the pleasure of viewing one of these movies before, you'll no doubt have delighted to witness the hilarious attempts by the film makers to link the two (or more) films together in such a way that characters from one (completely separate) movie appear to be interacting with the characters from the newer ninja segments……well the same shamelessly brazen technique is utilised here yet again and as usual, the result utterly defies belief! Suffice to say, keeping a straight face proves to be a Herculean task!

Added to all this the film boasts some of the daftest dialogue and voice over work I've yet had the joy to behold in any of the films of its ilk.

What can I say? Yes its dumb but its awesomely fun and is veritably intrinsic viewing for fellow connoisseurs of craptacular movies!

Another Godfrey Ho ninja flick, although the director hides behind the moniker of Charles Lee for this movie (I don't blame him). America NINJA: THE MAGNIFICENT is surprising because it DOESN'T star Richard Harrison, who was pretty much cut into every other Godfrey Ho/Joseph Lai ninja flick during the '80s. But in all other respects this film follows the same template as the others: Ho picked up a low-budget, unsuccessful Asian film (in this instance, a 1984 South Korean flick called WARRIOR) and cut in scenes of ninjas prancing around in an attempt to make a new movie.

Of course, plots in these movies are rarely coherent, and American NINJA: THE MAGNIFICENT really takes the biscuit. The original film is cut to shreds with just the action scenes remaining, so characters appear and disappear at will and you never know what the hell's going on. Then the new ninja scenes are spliced in to make things even more confusing; some scenes that attempt to show characters from the different films talking to each other are so bad that you just won't believe what you're watching. The dubbing is also incredibly poor, with grown men doing the voices of small children and no attempt at lip-synch anywhere.

From what I can tell, the original film – WARRIOR – actually looks to be fairly decent. It involves a warrior who is captured and his family killed. He escapes, becomes a monk and then fights an evil empire for the rest of the movie. Although very low budget, the film is packed with cheesy action and has plenty of ninjas in it as well. The hero, Lee, fights ninjas in rivers, on mountain slopes and in the woods and does Rambo-esque things like using tree bark to heal a wound in his stomach. There's a minecart sequence ripped off from INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM which is extraordinarily hilarious and latter scenes show Lee using a bow that fires multiple arrows; you see him haphazardly load a dozen or so shafts and then fire into the distance. In real life, because the bow is overloaded, the arrows would just fly off half-heartedly in all directions and land on the ground; here, every arrow sticks in a ninja. That's not to mention the ninjas obligingly lining up just to be turned into pincushions. Fight scenes are good fun and there are B-movie staples like blood spraying out in jets from underground, dummies falling off bridges, and, in my favourite scene, Lee buries himself in the sand to attack the enemy. You just have to wonder how long he was lying there under the sand before he got a chance to attack.

As for Ho's added ninja scenes, these are absolutely hilarious, although the martial arts is actually decent. As is usual for a ninja flick, things rely heavily on gymnastics and there are ninjas jumping and back-flipping all over the shop. The ninja costumes, complete with headbands displaying the word 'ninja', are hilarious. Every ninja seems to try to outdo his comrades by wearing bright day-glow, almost shell-suit style costumes. I thought the whole point of ninjas was stealth, well these guys would be seen two miles off. Pierre Kirby's acting skills reach new lows although he's more than adequate when the fists start flying.

American NINJA: THE MAGNIFICENT is an incredibly poor film that makes no sense whatsoever. Saying that, it is action-packed and often fun to sit through. Definitely a so-bad-it's-good viewing experience. I heard that this was the same film as the US-released FULL METAL NINJA, but having read a review of the latter, which sounds similar but describes people fighting with revolvers and walking on eggs, I'm not too sure. Perhaps Ho got his money's worth by shooting two different versions, one for Europe and one for America!