Medium Raw: Night of the Wolf

Any time an independent movie is written by and directed by and stars the producer that usually means the movie is a turd and this is no exception to that rule. The acting is laughably bad and the story is so damn stupid you wouldn't believe me if I told you. Basically a crazed serial killer is locked up with other lunatics but then somebody kills the asylum's power which somehow makes all the cells open and turns on the red emergency lighting, which is extra bad because one of the crazy serial killers turns into a bull creature whenever he sees the color red. Yep it really is that stupid. Nothing in this movie is right and everyone involved in the making of this should be embarrassed to have it on their resumes. Whatever this movie's budget is I guarantee 99% of it went into getting John Rhys Davies, Smoking Man from X Files and Mercedes McNab who was occasionally on Buffy to agree to be in this. They're in it for a total of about five minutes by the way. This movie is a huge dud so do yourself a favor and avoid it at all costs.

I've seen bad acting and I've seen terrible acting and I've seen the W.O.R.S.T. acting now that I've seen Andrew Cymek in a movie. To call his acting wooden would be an insult to wood which is far more interesting. He has a grand total of one facial expression. How did he get cast in this? I wondered too until I checked out the credits, not sure how I made it that far in the movie I must have been real tired, but he was also director, writer, producer, pretty much everything. So he obviously thinks he has acting chops but honey he doesn't. Let's be honest, nobody in this movie was a good actor at all. The wrestler who plays a maniac who snaps every time he sees the colour red, yes you read that right, was awful. The character of Mabel was OK and got a couple laughs in her gory comic relief role but I'm sure at least partly that was in comparison to the other actors. William Davis, Test, Reso, John Rhys Davies, Mercedes McNabb, they all look super embarrassed just to be in this. Co-star Brigitte Kingsley only looks decent in her scenes with Cymek, otherwise she is almost as wooden as him. What legitimate doctor dresses like that? These two hamriffic performances are so bad the movie should at least be funny to laugh at but it's too bad even for that. The climactic scene where she's in a cage going underwater and talking to Cymek literally resulted in laughter at the most inappropriate time at their awful performances. Let's not mince words, she has huge breasts so guys will like to look at her and that's about all either 'star' has to offer in this flick. Cymek's not much of a director or writer either with terrible, predictable plot points and dialogue. Here's hoping this movie flopped so bad he'll never get money to make another one.

Not a good comedy....yes I know it's a horror movie, but it was so bad I did get a couple laughs.

The Doctor with the hooker boots channeling her best Basic Instinct cooch shot to a seemingly lesbian cannibal psych ward patient who wants to lick her. Yup, you read correctly.

Great idea to bring your granddaughter to work the same day that the kid serial killer arrives and let her watch him get wheeled in with restraints. Better yet, let the kid serial killer see her and peak his interest.

How does someone get stuck to a butcher block via knife in hand and remain unable to escape with the other free hand??? Yes this was hooker boots Doctor. Got her degree from Phoenix University.

"Are you the Woodcutter?" - the movie tag-line. Erroneously attributed to the Red Riding Wolf theme, but in reality refers to the challenge presented to the viewer...Can you cut through these wooden lifeless performances and find some enjoyment.

Davis, Davies and McNab were fair and the only reason I gave this a shot.

UK title: Night of the Wolf. It's snowing outside, it's Xmas & a power cut somehow releases all of the dangerous inmates from their cells, meaning a fight for survival ensues. The inmates are the best thing about this film. Included amongst them are a cannibal, well played by Sand Ross, a huge hulk like man who hates red light (!), "God", child killer & a naked man with an extreme foot fetish. This is an Andrew Cymek movie - he wrote, directed, edited, etc - but sadly he also played one of the lead roles & this is a guy who can't act if his life depended upon it. And he's not alone here. Fortunately Brigitte Kingsley, who plays his wife, not only looks great but is one of the few decent performances. It gets worse. Not only do we get bad acting but also some woeful dialogue. Really couldn't decide if this film was attempting to be funny at times but if so it failed miserably. At 106 minutes it is painfully too long, I just wanted the end credits to roll but amazingly resisted the temptation to hit the FFWD button. The Anchor Bay DVD comes with an alternative ending but it makes no difference, this is a pile of predictable crap either way!

The plot: When a system error releases all the prisoners in a high security psychiatric hospital, visitors and staff are hunted down by the most dangerous patients, including a newly arrived serial killer.

By any standard, this is a terrible movie. However, I reject the inevitable calls of "worst movie ever made". The acting and writing suck, but it's just not boring enough to qualify.

There are many scenes in this movie that defy common sense, but if you're watching low budget, independent, direct-to-video horror movies, I imagine that you're not all that concerned with such matters. If, however, you're expecting this ridiculous movie to make any kind of sense or exist in the real world, then I see why you'd be very disappointed. From the beginning, it seemed like this was a pretty big ripoff of Arkham Asylum, a fixture of Batman comic books. It even has a cheap Bane knockoff, a menacing head psychiatrist, and a tormented crime-fighter. I mean, really, how much more derivative can you get?

Still, despite the lack of originality, bad writing, bad acting, and iffy directing, I was able to sit through the entire movie. I think that should count for something. I've decided to be somewhat generous and award this movie a 4/10. It's bad, but it's nowhere near bad enough for some of the hyperbolic criticism that it has attracted.