Sir Billi

I'm a huge fan of James Bond fan and Sir Sean Connery (RIP), so it was very disappointing to know that this was his final film before he passed away. Why he ever signed on for this is beyond me. It was one of the worst computer-animated films I've ever seen. And given the sheer amount of sex appeal, profanity, and disturbing visuals, it wasn't appropriate for kids at all.

The film takes place in Scotland where humans and anthropomorphic animals co-exist. And for some inexplicable reason, Beavers are illegal. Sir William "Billi" Sedgewick (Sean Connery) is a veterinarian who lives om the town of Catterness, Scotland with a goat named Gordon (Alan Cumming). After a truck full of Beavers being forcibly relocated to Norway crashes, releasing the animals, an animal hating cop named McKenzie (Ford Kiernan) begins to hunt them down. Now Billi and his friends must band together to save the day. That's about all I bothered to gather from what I could bear to watch.

The story is so sloppy and difficult to follow, you'll probably get a headache trying to figure it out. The animation and scenery are terrible, only a step above "FoodFight!" released the same year. The colors tended to look muddy and dull, and all of the textures were either grainy or plain. The character models, both human and animal, all had ugly or strange looking designs. The animal characters were the worst with their uncanny faces that make them look more like mutants than real wildlife. Even Sir Billi wasn't so easy on the eyes himself.

The voice acting and dialogue is as bad as the animation. Connery himself, who was in his 80s during production, sounded worn out as he murmured his lines as if from his own bedroom in his pajamas right after waking up. Everyone else sounded no better and the child actors were outright annoying with their constant ear-piercing screams.

Overall, this was a horrible sendoff for Sean Connery, who should have retired for good after "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" which was a mediocre film unto itself, but still much better than this hot mess and at least it was a commercial success. Instead, his career ended on a very bitter note that he didn't deserve.

This has got to be the worst film I've ever seen. The animation is difficult to look at. The characters are rather creepy (why exactly does the goat wear clothes and talk??). And the story, what there is of it, makes little to no sense.

Firstly, the character design in this film is abysmal; every character is hard to look at it. Secondly, the whole concept is quite strange, and frankly pretty sinister - animals and humans live side-by-side and can talk with each other, yet cows are still milked, certain animals are threatened with extermination, etc... Beyond that the whole thing is very strange, the main character is apparently a retired vet, but also has been knighted? There's a policeman obsessed with catching a beaver? There's a duck who flies a plane?

The storyline veers from repititce and predictable to bizarre and inexplicable, and the jokes and stereotypes feel dated at best, and for a kids film, there are some weirdly sexual, and quite frankly offensively sexist moments with female characters.

I don't know who funded this but I feel bad for them.

Avoid.

This movie fricken suck so bad that's all you need to know

I cannot believe the too high rating of this movie now. My only guess is, all the people who worked on it, and all their families are up-voting it daily. I only learned of it existing now, because it has been rightfully forgotten otherwise since its 2012 release. I had to check the company's website twice to actually confirm that Sir Sean Connery not only acted in this, but was the producer! My only guess is, this being the first Scottish animated movie, he wanted to support his homeland. He should have checked whom he gave his money...

In short,the animation is so ugly with such horrifying character models that I actually felt sick just by watching these... "humans" walk around and talk. The men all have weird pear-shaped heads, while what goes for women look like chimpanzee-faced trolls with exaggerated butts and boobs, and you don't want to see them do a sexy dance... yet that's what they do right in the horrible James Bond ripoff opening. Animals don't look any better, most of them have the exact same model, so a beaver looks the same as a rabbit, just without the ears and with a beaver tail.

The story, if you can call it that, is that two policemen steal a truckload of beavers... for some reason. In a world where animals can talk with humans and wear clothes... is that slavery and kidnapping? And as one beaver kid escapes and is raised by rabbits, the corrupt London cop for some reason makes it his life's mission to hunt him down. Then we cut to our "hero", Scottish noble Sir Billi who is a skateboard-riding grandpa vet and has a pet talking goat called Gordy hanging around with him, who constantly dresses like Uma Thurman from Kill Bill. Confused yet? Good! It does not get any better, with stupid rabbit games of sliding down hills tied to giant logs that naturally cause the beaver and some rabbits to almost die in the river, some American goons and a local Scottish corrupt noble showing up, a Russian sub emerging from the sea, and the most "important plot" of Sir Billi wanting to get into the pants of the "sexy" American sister of the local chimpanzee-woman.

This was expanded from a 2006 short into a full 1 hour 40 minutes movie, and it shows, because barely anything happens in it. It has a surprising amount of VA and singer talent attached to it, I can only guess out of love for their homeland or pity, but this should have never been made. It looks like "A Car's Life" or "What's Up" or any of the other terrible Disney-ripoff dime a dozen cash-ins, and Sean Connery should have considered what he agreed to fund and star in. I don't recommend watching this, except maybe to riff it.