Petrified

Petrified is about an artifact that turns out to be an alien who comes back to life and turns some people to stone while draining others of blood. Then there's the hand from the Adams Family that creeps around strangling people. The movie is meant to be full of puns and wacky, as it takes place in a nymph hospital with a weird doctor trying to cure death using hormone therapy. A few drinks will make this film much better. Some continuity and dialog breaks made on the cheapest of budgets. If you're looking for a good film with a serious plot and screenplay, skip this one. If you're looking for a C film that's corny as hell, this is for you.

I was extremely disappointed by this film. It truly is complete rubbish. There is nothing good about it at all.

Petrified is about an ancient artefact that is being delivered in the dark of night which turns out to be a mummy-type alien who comes back to life and begins a rampage of turning people to stone. The deal of passing the artefact is carried out in a graveyard which happens to be situated next to a nymphomaniac hospital. The hospital is full of sex mad women and an eccentric doctor who is actually trying to cure death using hormone therapy.

This movie is so bad, the effects are horrendous, I felt like I was watching a movie shot in the 1960's. The characters are completely linear, there is no character development, history or depth on any level. It's not even a B movie, it's a Z movie.

There is nothing worth seeing here, absolutely shockingly bad.

Since I already had an idea what to expect, I went in with an open mind. I hate the idea of giving this company money to eatch this, but I didnt, so no loss. I havent laughed this hard at even a comedy, but dont pass this film up. I use film loosely. Best enjoyed with large amounts of whiskey and an innocent bystander. I gave it a 10, cause this is by far, and that is saying something, the worst (in an almost good way) movie I've ever seen. Please watch. Good luck.

I have to start keeping a log of movies watched. If I've ever seen a worse film, I can't remember it.

Utter ordure from beginning to end. I won't dignify it with with any analysis or description beyond that, except to say that there's a brief, hopeful moment when we learn that the setting is a "clinic for the treatment of nymphomania," but alas...

I don't know what the other reviewer is drinking - I like bourbon, and the only way I can imagine liquor making this "film" any better is during that brief, fleeting moment of vivid hallucination (that we're watching some other movie, perhaps?) that comes right after hepatic shutdown, and just before irreversible coma.

Pretty much everything thrown up at the screen for this one was a miss.

The problem is the bare bones plot, direction, and effects that did make it up on the screen.

The movie minus opening and closing credits runs about less than an hour.

That's how little is there.

An alien mummy which is all it is ever explained as is quickly re-animated when an artifacts collector is killed and bleeds on it. A hand from another alien or etc. Mummy also is revived but it is never explained how.

The mummy then goes into a nearby unguarded and unstaffed nymphomaniac clinic where there are barely any nymphos and causes havoc there for the rest of the scant movie.

A federal investigator also seeks refuge in the clinic who ends up battling the mummy along with a female trying to break her sister out of it.

The effects, kills, pacing, how the mummy is warded off at times and then defeated are all 3rd rate even for a low budget movie.

Just mostly a miss on everything. Maybe it should be comforting it was so short.

The one thing Band mostly tried to sell for the movie is that he gave everybody an executive producer credit that bought $100 or more of merchandise at a stop on his Roadshow tour in 2005. That unfortunately doesn't make a movie any better in any way for the viewer.....