Les Ailes démoniaques

Army of Darkness can be considered a cult classic, so I guess it's surprising we haven't seen more ripoffs of it. However, I can't imagine we'd ever see one like this.

To those that haven't seen Army of Darkness, a regular wisecracking Joe with a shotgun is accidentally teleported into medieval/dark ages times and must save the inhabitants there with a combination of future know how, leadership abilities and fighting ability from a supernatural evil.

It was a silly movie, but worked because Bruce Campbell has charm and wit, and the script was genuinely funny.

Replace Bruce Campbell with Stephen Baldwin and replace the Evil Dead with Harpies. Replace the claymation low budget special effects with blue screen special effects straight from a shopping mall vendor or amusement park. And take out the witty banter and one liners and replace them with dialogue that makes the worst dubbed Italian film seem like Shakespeare. Watch at your own peril. About the only redeeming feature is the female lead, who isn't much of an actor, but is attractive, in a mid 30s sort of way.

This has got to be one of the worst waste of time I have ever seen. The acting is amateur and costume, make-up, and sets are severely low budget. The actors can't decide if they are from Brooklyn or England. Half the time they try and speak with a fake accent, the rest of the time, they just don't care.

Stunts? Ha Ha. There is one scene where a guy is speared through the "chest" and as he falls down he turns to the right it is plainly obvious the spear is under his arm. I have to admit, I never laughed so hard before at a "drama".

This is what Stephen Baldwin is reduced too? Even the reality shows seem good compared to this.

Wow... If someone would have told me this before, I wouldn't have believed him. Come on, Sci-Fi have done some bad movies but this is their champion. Stephen Baldwin (I liked him before this) has done his worst role ever. He's not even acting. The other actors seem like they were picked up from the street. The CGI is nowhere. The angles of the cameras are all wrong. And don't let me start writing about the director of this movie. A 7 year old child would have directed better then him. Hell, a monkey would have directed better then him. The props look so fake and the most hilarious thing was the catapult that looks like it was bought from IKEA. The dialogs have no sense they are just a bunch of words put together in phrases that have no connection with the other phrases. I think that they should show this film only to students at film academies where they can learn what NOT to do in a film.

OK, just watched part of it as it is out on satellite tonight - it didn't go to the theatres at all I guess. It's quite ridiculous - done over the top cheesy on purpose - but it's not funny. Stupid script, lame acting and pathetic effects - it had a cheap porn quality to it. I can get that this was all done on purpose - but I don't get why. It wasn't good enough for a laugh. I imagine it was supposed to be a parody of something. Was this a stupid comic book that they are making fun of then? It does advertise as Stan Lee's Harpies. Do not go into this thinking of Spiderman quality in anyway. Massive waste of time - I didn't get through 20 minutes. Let me know if someone watches the whole thing - or if there was a point I was missing. Poor Baldwin. Poor Stan Lee.

...and end up surprisingly good movies.

Stan Lee's Harpies is not one of them. **WARNING: SPOILERS FOLLOW**

Let's see...where to start?

Ah, yes -- The Harpies themselves. You'd think, given that they are the title characters of the film, that there would be great time and care and attention given their design. Instead we get abominable CGI, and the live action harpies looked like emo girls wearing badly-done halloween wings.

The Action Sequences. When the harpies attack, it doesn't show us anything that convinces us that there's a battle going on. You see a bunch of people waving their swords, then you see a shot of the harpies giggling and flailing their arms. Yeah, real convincing.

The battle scenes, such as they are, show a bunch of guys bumping into each other with swords drawn. One poor nameless extra got skewered by a sword, and when he fell down, he fell at an angle showing that he was holding the sword between his arm and torso, rather than sticking out of his trunk, as it should have been.

In the museum, we're supposed to believe that these mercenaries are not only bad shots, but that an ancient cup, hit by a bullet, is just going to fall as if it were knocked over, and protect our hero.

The Casting Not too much wrong here, other than they're rather unseasoned and ill-suited for a fantasy film. Also, they got the cast wrong on here. Scott Valentine (yes, the guy from Family Ties who said "Ay!") played Vorian.

There are other stretches of the imagination, people jumping when they're supposed to be "sucked in" or "thrown clear" of the blast, etc. But this movie was just "That Which Should Not Be Made" on so many levels. My friend and I made better student films than this in college. Did anyone notice the dearth of slavic names in the crew? I thought only the Italians made ridiculous movies ("Naked Gladiators" and "Texas Rangers 2020", anyone?).

Ah well, I suppose that if they enjoyed what they were doing, that's what counts. I didn't.