Diary of a Cannibal

I rented this movie looking for a typical gore-fest a la Romero. Was I in for a disappointment. It turned out the be the worst 82 minutes I've spent in a long time. Something could have been done with the story, reputedly based on actual events, but it was not. The set and location shots must have cast the production company hundreds of dollars. The were endless flashbacks that conveyed nothing and were put in solely to add some time to the film. It's a shame that there isn't some sort of "Gong Show" system that would have nipped this one in the bud before it contaminated the viewing public. I don't recall having seen an Ulli Lommel film before but at least I am now forewarned to stay away. Please, if anyone recommends this movie to you, I would suggest that they immediately seek professional help and counseling.

(2006) Diary Of A Cannibal HORROR

Art direction, cinematography, produced, and directed by Ulli Lommel directing a straight to rental, shown on via cam-corder style showcasing events about how a normal teenage girl end up eating her boyfriend, full of pointless passages from the Bible etc... linking to cannibalism. Supposed to be based on an actual incident somewhere in Virginia, Tennessee similar to "The Brown Bunny" which consist of pointless scenes of affection with one another and it wasn't until more than an hour later that viewers finally realize that it was the boyfriends request for her to do this. What do we know from this understandably is absolutely nothing.

Diary of a Cannibal (2006)

1/2 (out of 4)

Ulli Lommel is back once again with yet another "based on true events" film. This time he tells the story of the German man who was sent to prison for killing another man and eating him. In this film, the story is changed around to a man and woman who meet on the internet and he wants her to eat him. The story of the German man was better told in the film Cannibal, which I viewed earlier in the year. That film was the sickest film I had ever seen and had me on the verge of throwing up but I can honestly say this film had me close to throwing up but for different reasons. Lommel shows once again that he's turned into the biggest hack master in the world delivering yet another horrible film. I'll give him some credit that he changed to story to a somewhat interesting one but he does nothing with it. Everything from the performances to the special effects are horrid so that doesn't leave much going for the film. It's really sad to see Lommel selling himself out with this incredibly horrid film but Lions Gate keeps buying them so I guess he'll keep making them.

The only interesting part of this movie was the true story which inspired it, however, even that is lost in a never ending parade of cuts, fades and pointless scenes. There are certain unspoken rules about the appropriate number of scenes, the repeated use of single scenes and timing that Ulli Lommel (Director) either doesn't understand or chooses (unfortunately) not to obey. The characters are whisper thin, and the story almost absent. Top this off with ultra low budget digital film quality, poor acting and a hollow cliché of a soundtrack. Unless you really just enjoy bad films, there is no reason whatsoever for me to recommend this to you. This movie, like Lollels other work, is a waste of time, money and space.

Not only is it a horrible movie, but it seems like the Director approves of the whole situation. It seemed like they made the Male cop out to be a jerk for saying they were sick, as opposed to it being for "love". Come on man, it's sick! You're not together forever, you're not "one". The guys dead, you just ate his heart and liver! The relationship is pretty much over when his severed head is sitting on the table. (thats not a spoiler, it tells you what happens on the back of the DVD) "Cannibalism is misunderstood". Are you kidding me? It's like ignorance claiming genius....ugh....The thing that makes me sick is that the movie appears to be trying to get you to sympathize with the twisted crap. I don't know man. The only movie I've seen worse than this is "Final Days", the movie based on the last days before Kurt Cobain's suicide. It's a close call though.