Sexy à tout prix!

Just try and tell me you don't think the lead players had their roles all mixed up. Even as a tomboy on Step By Step, Lakin was a real hottie and knew how to make "boy" styles look cute. She deserves a whole lot better than this. Hilton's track record, on the other hand, speaks for itself. If Judge (Michael) Sauer had the power to indict her for bad acting, singing, and just plain performing overall, he'd lock the door, throw the key away, and make sure this nottie – with an Executive Producer credit, of all things! – never got out. I ragged on Madonna for her performance in Swept Away; compared side-by-side to H&N, she's Oscar material! If this aural and visual carnage never makes it to DVD or home video (trust me, it will), it'll be too soon.

I can confirm that I no longer fear Hell for I have seen something much worse. This film is so bad it just wretches you with extreme agony and torture until your eyeballs bleed. I haven't even bothered to rate this because even rating this film "0" is too high.

I wouldn't say the acting is bad because saying it was bad would be too generous to the actors/actresses in this film. I have been more convinced by E-mails claiming I can access a bank account worth 10 Million if I pay 10 grand to activate it. As for the writer, well it wouldn't surprise me if it was written by a child because that is the sort of stuff a 6 year old would scribble down if told to write a story. From a technical viewpoint, this film wasn't the worst if you exclude every other film made in history. As for comedy - Well this film makes Schindler's list look like Monty Python, I found this film about as funny as AIDS. Now romance is the only convincing factor in this film, that is if your idea of romance is watching a drunken 1 night stand where both parties have very unsatisfactory sex.

I can't rate this because it is like lining your Grandmothers up and rating their looks. Just don't bother, for the sake of your mental health, don't bother - Spend the day licking dirt off the floor or something but avoid watching this...'film'.

OK, I'm not going to bash this film based on Paris Hilton, I admit, I don't like the girl, but I'm not going to base my comment on that alone, I think it's unfair. A lot of people are giving this movie a one just because of Paris without even seeing the movie, it gets a bit annoying. But I don't know why, I think I was just in a mood for one of those awful films that just leave a bad taste in your mouth, I think every once in a while, we need to see something like that. Now the problem with The Hottie and the Nottie, besides it's stupid title? The story, beyond predictable and hypocritical, along with the acting... it's like they just took people off the street who had no credibility to be in a film. I love how Paris Hilton isn't even the main character and yet she is first billed, you know that she paid good money for that or wouldn't be in it, big woop, her as an innocent charity loving girl, that's believable.

Nate Cooper is a man that just can't seem to move on in life, after 20 years he returns to his home town looking for his first grade crush, Cristabel. She's still around making men drool, but she won't go for him unless he can hook her ugly friend, June, up with a guy as well. June has bad teeth, bad skin, bad nails, bad hair, just all in all, it's bad, so Nate does everything he can to get June a guy, but it's more difficult than he could ever expect, until he finds out that love isn't everything he thought it might be.

The script is predictable, stupid, could've been written by a teenager and was very hypocritical, which you will see what I mean if you watch this movie. Now I know that they were just trying to get a big name, but come on... Paris Hilton? I actually had an open mind and just thought to give the movie a shot, but she just is such a horrible actress, like beyond horrible, I'm not just saying that because of who she is, just I know you'll believe me. This is a movie that really shouldn't have been made or if Hollywood wanted it so much, get different people, please, before they do something like cast Paris... never mind. Stay away from this movie at any costs.

1/10

Let's be honest: rom-coms frequently celebrate really questionable values and champion behavior that would land you a restraining order in real life. If this movie had had a little bit more self-awareness, it could have been a pretty good parody of the genre, but it takes itself way too seriously for that.

It starts out by stretching the "lovable loser" trope way past the breaking point. Our "hero", Nate, had a crush on a girl named Cristabel in the first grade, then his family moved across the country and he never saw her again. Now an "adult" (in years anyway), he's never gotten over this. He can't stay in a relationship, or even hold a job, because he can't get Cristabel off his mind. Rather than see a therapist, he decides he has seek her out. Since Google doesn't exist in this universe, he hops in his car (which definitely couldn't have made the trip) and drives across the country to find his first grade friend, Arno. It turns out Arno has also been obsessed with Cristabel since the first grade (what are the odds?). In fact, he's been stalking her his entire life, and has compiled a full dossier with the help of his mother, with whom he lives and has a very creepy relationship. Like Nate, he appears not to have a job. In spite of his lifelong obsession, he seems to have no personal interest in Cristabel, and has apparently just been waiting around for Nate to return so he can help him win her over.

He re-introduces himself to Cristabel, the eponymous "hottie", by tackling her while she's jogging. Rather than macing him like any sane person, she somehow charmed by him and says the only reason she won't date him is not that he's unattractive, broke, and generally has nothing going for him, but rather that she has to find someone for her "nottie" friend, June, who has also been around since the first grade, and the stakes are set.

In their quest to solve this problem, Nate and Arno will establish themselves to be truly loathsome individuals, but we're meant to ignore that because of the inherent nobility of first grade crushes.

If you've ever seen a rom-com, it won't be a spoiler to tell you that Nate encounters a rival who is everything he isn't: good looking, wealthy, athletic, charming, and talented. The thing is, this guy is also at least a good a person as Nate, probably better.

Anyway, yada, yada, you see the end coming a mile away, and we learn some valuable lessons about how important it is for women to be as attractive as possible if they ever want to be happy, and how important it is for men to, um...., have a pulse, I guess.

Surveillance Vido of an Empty Parking Lot Is A More Entertaining Way to Spend 90 Minutes. 'Awful' is way too kind of a word for this piece of garbage. And to think, crew people actually had to get out of bed in the morning and waste gas driving to the studio to make this movie. A waste of time, money and effort. The only thing NOT wasted here was talent, since no talent was used in the making of this stinker. Is Paris so broke that she has to stoop this low to get some cash. Offering to water my lawn would garner Paris more respect in the public arena than what she did on screen here. I hope the studio didn't spend more than $50 on the script. If they paid more, they got ripped off.