Berbagi Suami

I just got the opportunity to watch this movie on VCD, and it was such a splendid time.

I can definitely say that comparing this film with such a highly pretentious horse s**t as 'Ekskul' was like comparing Heaven and Hell! ('Berbagi Suami' as Heaven, of course...) I honestly can't understand what the FFI-committee thought when they picked Ekskul as Best Picture. Furthermore, that horse s**t also won Best Director!! Oh, come on, give me a f**king break, will you?! Giving a 'Best Director' award to a director that, apparently, disliked 'The Godfather'?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! They should have given the award for Picture and Director to this movie, instead! Berbagi Suami is an earnest, simple film about three families adopting a polygamy way of life, and many consequences (not a few are dire ones) that they have to face. It is funny at times, heartbreaking, and will bring smiles to all the audiences.

Maybe the members of the FFI committee are just too cheesy to pick a film as beautiful as this one.

Nia Dinata's sophomore feature weaves together three intertwined stories about polygamy, marriage, and relationships. Handsomely shot, warmly acted, and smartly written with complex but identifiable characters and smart, believable dialogue, 'Berbagi Suami' is an all-round entertaining and thought-provoking classic.

Nia Dinata's sophomore feature weaves together three independent stories, each a woman who finds herself the wife of a husband who has multiple wives. The stories are tied together in clever ways that are reminiscent in a way of the movie "Sliding Doors".

So what would you expect from a female director/screenwriter on the topic of polygamy? While taking an anti-polygamy view, the film will challenge you because it does not come across as clear-cut as you might expect.

Instead, we see these three women struggle with conflicts between personal identity and identity through family, self-respect and religious conviction, and independence and security.

Well-acted and tightly written, this is a film worth seeking out if only because it is so different.

If I put all of my favorites Indonesian films on the wall, "Berbagi Suami" would surely be on the very top.

The idea of intertwining characters; complete with their own unique encounter with polygamy - in so many different circumstances, that accidentally meets along the story is BRILLIANT!! Beautifully presented with precision timing that puts us in complete awe.

The film would surely stab the conscious so many Indonesians that either being involved within or even considering to get into the realm of polygamy.

A surely smart yet amusingly funny in a way, a film really worth watching.

Ponder upon these questions: Is polygamy correct? Can the love found in a polygamous marriage possibly be sincere? Is a love for share worth the fight? Most westerners, if not all, would propose negating arguments to answer all of the questions. But to some Indonesians, it is a matter of making them convinced.

With a subtle partiality to the opposing side, Berbagi Suami (Love for Share, Kalyana Shira Films, 2006) tries to gracefully induce a big 'no' into the mind of its audience by presenting three separate yet intertwined stories about three men (Pak Haji, Paklik, Koh Abun) who manage to have more than one wife at the same time. To disclose the ironies of their marriages, the stories are narrated by three of the wives, Pak Haji's first wife, the benevolent Salma (Jajang C. Noer); Paklik's third, the gullible Siti (Shanty); and Koh Abun's second, the naïve and perky Ming (Dominique).

In the first story, Berbagi Suami boldly relates polygamy to religion and politics. Upholding his title as a haji, Pak Haji (El Manik) puts forward the argument that he is practicing polygamy in order to avoid adultery. In certain Islamic interpretation, it is legal for a man to marry up to four women as long as he can be fair to each and every one of them. A man of self-esteem, Pak Haji is also a political figure, and as an effort to confirm that his choice to practice polygamy is politically correct, he has Salma speak about how wonderful he is as a husband in a television talk show. Salma has to emphasize that Pak Haji has always been fair to all of his wives, a statement proved wrong by the second wife's persistence, out of jealousy towards Salma, to win Pak Haji's attention. In a scene where Pak Haji can no longer get out of bed due to his illness, he admits that having more than just one wife is exhausting. In a trembling voice, he says to his son, "One is enough." Compared to the "cold war" that occurs in the first story, the relationship between the wives in the next family is extremely different. Set in a lower class environment, the second story tells how Siti, following her paklik (uncle, Lukman Sardi) to Jakarta with the classic to-find-a-better-life motivation, sees herself trapped in a household that adopts a lifestyle so unorthodox that her uncle's two wives happily make shift so as to determine who sleeps when with their man, while the other stays with their children in an adjacent room, ignoring the yelps and the groans. There are dozens of kids in the family, but even after Siti is talked into marrying her own uncle, the other two wives conceive yet again, concurringly! It is said that the house belongs to Sri (Ria Irawan), the nymphomaniac first wife. When Paklik decided to take another wife, Sri must have allowed it, otherwise she could have kicked him out of her house. Economically, however, all of the wives depend highly on the husband; a representation of Indonesia's patriarchal system that assigns the women to domestic roles, where the men work outside the house and, as the movie satirically remarks, find other women while they are at it. When the wives find out that Sri is infected with a sexually transmitted disease—a turn of event that feels a little forced—Siti chucks in and decides to flee with Dwi (Rieke Diah Pitaloka), the second wife.

The third story makes us falter over which character to blame. Ming is a beautiful young woman with a dream to become a movie star, but so far life has only allowed her to work in a Chinese roast duck restaurant that belongs to Koh Abun (Tio Pakusadewo). Married with two children, Koh Abun learns that he simply cannot resist Ming's beauty. After promising her material security as well as recognition from his wife, Koh Abun marries Ming when his wife is overseas. It later turns out that he can only fulfill his first promise. Unlike the wives in the first and second story, Cik Linda (Ira Maya Sopha) faces her competitor and makes sure that Ming pays. She gets thrown out of the apartment Koh Abun gave her, while he cannot do anything but provide her with some money to find another place as well as to get by.

Our main characters are depicted, though only moderately, as victims of the men's world. During the discussion after the world premiere of Berbagi Suami in Taman Budaya Yogyakarta on March 18, 2006, a woman asked the director why the movie did not capture the extreme sides of polygamy, the pain, the tears. To some people, the lack of beating and swearing in the movie may be a disappointment. But some people do think that Berbagi Suami deserves a mention as an honest movie—honest enough to question the integrity of any polygamous marriage institution. Entertainment-wise, for those who find it hard to pick between which one to watch, this movie or Heart, I suggest they watch the latter, as Berbagi Suami might cause brain damage to those who cannot think a little harder.