Scary Movie 5

Take a group of bored actors with nothing in the works, mix in a large number of crew meandering around the Hollywood Hills looking for work, add a 120 pages of random meaningless dialogue (found in a discarded waste bucket next to a photocopier) finally stir it all up and hang around studio parking lots or known eateries of studio big wigs and financiers, ply them with drink and voilà you have this.

A complete waste of time, dull, predictable and as funny as the toothache that kept me up and out watching it (a wisdom tooth), in their defence we (and those behind them) know Sharknado, Megashark etc. are always going to be laughable, the only laughable part of this was how someone, somewhere managed to get it made.

For 1/100,000th of the cost of this the guys behind Birdemic could have bought a second mic that worked and a pair of decent headphones and almost, just almost not have been above this as the worst movie I have seen this year.

I love parody movies, and have seen and have in my possession quite a few, especially those that feature the late and fantastic Leslie Neilson, including the previous Scary Movies. The previous 4 are great, they're funny and you can actually have a good time watching them. Laughs aplenty. This one... not so much. It had it's moments, but other than that it was just a ho-hum type movie. Didn't have the engaging action and comedy that you're used to from the previous films, and just didn't really do anything for me. I like Charlie Sheen as an actor, and he's can play some funny parts, and this was no exception, but then it kind of dwindled after that. I think it's because the previous cast were not there. I think that if all the previous actors were included, it would have been a great movie.

Scary Movie V (2013)

BOMB (out of 4)

Wow, an American comedy from 2013 that makes INAPPROPRIATE COMEDY seem a little funnier. I'm not even going to waste my time giving any sort of plot synapses because this thing is just so horridly bad that you can't help but wonder a few things. Apparently 60% of this movie was re-filmed by David Zucker because the original movie from Malcolm D. Lee just didn't work. Considering how awful this theatrical version is, one really has to wonder how much worse the original could have been. The big "draw" to this is that it spoofs other 2013 films like MAMA and it even spoofs EVIL DEAD, which was released a week earlier. The MAMA spoof takes up the majority of the running time and there are simply no funny moments. I sat there in the empty theater just shocked that anyone would want to admit that they were involved in this thing. The jokes were just downright funny with the majority of them being physical stuff but it simply wasn't funny. The EVIL DEAD stuff got a couple small laughs but certainly not enough to save the picture. Even worse is the BLACK SWAN stuff that just seems to be out-dated and, again, unfunny. Ashley Tisdale and Simon Rex play the main couple but add zero. Katt Williams is really bland in his brief role and even Snoop Dogg and his pot jokes can't do anything. Oh yes, there's also the Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan stuff, which gets the film off to a very bad start. I guess Sheen just doesn't care what it does and Lohan has nothing better to do since she's now been in two horrid films in 2013. SCARY MOVIE V is without question one of the worst films I've ever sat through and trust me when I say I've watched some bad stuff. There were several times where I thought about walking out of the screening but I stuck in there to the end so that will show how dumb I was.

I've never written a review before, in fact i've never logged into this before, but i HAD to...just to say this is hands down the worst movie i've ever seen in my entire life, people were leaving the cinema and sadly we stayed hoping and wishing it would improve. It didn't!

You know those kids shows on Disney channel where someone bangs their head and you see kids crying laughing, picture that but even less funny, oh and by the way, constantly through the movie it's people banging their head etc, they've ripped the Disney channel off for comedy and failed, HOW BAD DO YOU HAVE TO BE AT COMEDY???

I'm actually angry at the movie, i got home about 15 minutes ago and i haven't stopped swearing since. Seriously don't watch this movie, don't even watch the trailer. If you see it on a bus stop sign graffiti it.

It's fair to say that it is the worst of the series, it's let down by some really awful scenes, and some dire performances, but, it still has some of the old magic, and a few times I did find myself laughing. The scene between Sheen and Lohan was perhaps the worst thing I have ever seen, it was appalling, almost like an attempt to replicate the Pamela Anderson scene, but it was just terrible. The Black Swan scenes were lots of fun, and nicely produced, they felt at odds with lots of the film.

Is it the case that people's humour has changed since the early films, or were the jokes simply not funny? Personally I think it's the latter, in fairness though it isn't as if there were great horror movies to parody.

It's poor, but will still give the odd chuckle. 5/10