Mon ancien amant

These Lifetime flicks are a lot like your favorite junk food. Big Macs, Twinkies, Oreos, etc., are satisfying while they're going down, but they don't provide much in the long run.

Movies like this one can provide a couple of hours' entertainment on, say, a bleak Sunday afternoon - but there is little with which to empathize or recall or reflect upon after they're over.

However, this one did provide an added bonus. William R. Moses is to the male side of this genre what Meredith Baxter is on the feminine counterpoint -- both have played the betrayer and "betrayee," both the villain/villainess and the one being menaced. Seeing either of them on Lifetime (as well as a few others whom we may recognize by sight if not name) is like meeting an old friend.

If I were an actor, I'd rather be Mr. Moses than, say, Tom Cruise, or Harrison Ford or Tom Hanks. You wouldn't be on the "A" list, getting $20-mil or more per picture. But you'd still make, probably, something around low-7 figures, get to have a lot of expense-paid trips to Canada, and be able to move around with minimal bother from the paparazzi.

As far as the plot of this particular offering - it contains a "plot" which is one of the two main staples of "Lifetime" dramas: the spouse with the hidden past, which comes-up to bite everyone in the ass {the other, of course, is the neighbor (or student or teacher or co-worker) who turns out to be a raving, dangerous, obsessed psychotic sociopath}.

Again, two decent hours on a gloomy Sunday afternoon.

The ironic title "The Perfect Marriage" gets the viewer in the right mood to expect the worst. It seems that successful and rich entrepreneur, Richard Danforth (William Moses), has the perfect wife in Marrianne, aka Annie (Jamie Luner), who is adept at party mixing. She appears to be the ideal spouse for her clean-cut aspiring husband. Adding to Marrianne's blissful state is the fact that her father-in-law is president of the company where Richard works. All is going well for the happy couple when suddenly Marrianne's deadly past catches up with her in the form of a slimy leach called Brent Richter (James Wilder). Some time ago in another state, Brent and Marrianne had engineered the death of her aged husband. The good wife, Marrianne,had jabbed her old man in the neck with a fatal dose of potassium chloride. But poor Marriane finds her partner in crime with another woman. Even worse, she learns that Brent has squandered the old fellow's money on wine, women, and bad debts.

Marrianne attempts to buy Brent off. When he refuses, she decides that she loves him once more. Together they concoct a scheme to get her father-in-law's fortune. This time around, however, Richard's secretaries become suspicious, leading to complications involving murder and mayhem. Most of this is routine at best, but there are a few novel twists and turns thrown in from time to time, especially in the way the writers deal with Marrianne at the end of the film.

The acting is not bad for a made-for-TV flick. The direction is adequate, though at times the film is a bit talky. So though the viewer has seen most of it before in a different guise, there is enough excitement to please fans of the genre.

If Marianne's marriage to Richard is so perfect, why does she need to have an affair with Christopher? Or is it Brent? There's a lot Marianne is keeping secret. The movie starts with a couple of chilling scenes from Marianne's past.

Richard's secretary Carrie worked hard to plan a party, but Carrie isn't even invited and she doesn't feel appreciated. This will become important later. At the party Marianne meets Tia, the head of public relations, and her "date" Kendra. Tia's boyfriend resents that she considers her work more important than her relationship, so she brings her sister. Marianne invents a past, but Tia and Kendra later find they must investigate that past to protect Richard.

Richard and his father run the company, and Marianne has the chance to kill the father and get a big inheritance. Actually, Richard has a heart attack, and Marianne could stand there and do nothing, but the company is on the verge of a major deal which will mean the company is worth even more--provided the father lives. Later, Marianne can once again use the poison we saw her use earlier, and no one will know the difference. We know it will make people think the person had a heart attack but leave no trace. That's IF she gets to use it.

The plotting and the investigating are quite interesting, and there is real excitement toward the end. There are romantic scenes as well, but I didn't enjoy those as much.

I have seen clips of Jamie Luner in other shows, but I have only seen full episodes of "Just the Ten of Us" and "Growing Pains", from which the sitcom spun off. Both are regarded as evidence that TV is garbage, but I enjoyed them. I would not have recognized the girl who I knew as the adorable brainless teen who wasn't as hot as her sister. She's actually quite good. Not over-the-top nasty, but deceptively ordinary.

There are a lot of good performances here. Sophie Gendron is gorgeous, especially in that hot dress she wears to the party, but also when dressed professionally. But the important thing is she has brains and determination. And the father (apparently Lawrence Dane) does an impressive job as well.

A very good effort.

My two least favorite LMN actresses, that seem to work all the time are Jamie Luner and Sophie Gendron. One looks like she's the mother of most of her leading men and the other, with those thick lips that you feel would suction her to any surface. Hard to watch them.

The plot is typical and reminds me of many other LMN film plots where the husband gets it from the bitchy wife who in turns either takes on with a younger man or the son of the husband, etc, etc. This movie is no different except it's hard to watch. Ah, Jamie and her hypo killing machine. And Sophie and her woeful looks. Better to watch the men folk, a bit more interesting. William Moses as the husband and James Wilder as the poor young fool who buys the bull she gives him. How many of these "perfect" film titles are there? LMN seems to conquer them all. For almost every day we see one or another.

A few years ago, still sexy Jamie Luner (as Marianne "Annie" Grayson) was in love with seductively sleazy James Wilder (as Brent Richter). They conspired to kill her husband and collect $250,000. After Mr. Wilder loses most of the money on "debts," Ms. Luner wises up and decides to start a new life. She marries successful businessman William R. Moses (as Richard Danforth) and settles down in Philadelphia. Of course, her past catches up with Luner. Wilder finds her and proposes they murder Mr. Moses, and his father, to collect $30,000,000. Getting tangled with the potentially lethal twosome is Mr. Moses' faithful full-lipped associate Sophie Gendron (as Tia Montgomery).

***** The Perfect Marriage (5/22/06) Douglas Jackson ~ Jamie Luner, James Wilder, William R. Moses, Sophie Gendron