Sang Plomb

Do you worry about the price of fuel? If the price continues to rise, only the richest dudes will drive cars. Cars will regain their rightful place as 'babe' wagons. In this eco-friendly age where wheatgrass is the new cool, clean-cut kindergarten nerd Archie hangs up his teacher hat and goes home to work on a new invention – a car powered by the green slime itself.

Archie stops for supplies at the vegan store where a prim and proper bespectacled girl sells him wheatgrass while sketching artistic pornography ("your cum tastes like tofu") under the counter. Across the yard at the meat stall is a more predatory chick whose intentions are more openly high octane kinky sex. As they compete for his affection, Archie accidentally discovers that blood added to wheatgrass makes the engine work a treat. He even dispenses with the wheatgrass. Archie is a vegan, so killing small animals causes him great emotional anguish. Even more when they won't stay still. But having bagged a few quadrupeds there is even more anguish when he realise the car wants human blood or nothing.

Blood Car is a crisply-made, ultra low-budget movie that has been compared to the Troma films or those of Russ Meyer and John Waters. Low-tech special effects, bouncing bosoms, and hilariously tongue-in-cheek. For the first hour, I was spellbound by its audacity, the thumbing at convention, and never knowing where it was going next. The sight of Archie on a bike, wielding an axe and chasing two FBI men, reminded me of the luckless cyclist hero-nerd from Peter Jackson's early movie, Braindead. But then it struck me. Blood Car was made by talented people who knew their trash movies. And good lighting. And good cinematography. But it was also a mish-mash of many styles. It lacks consistency. Acting is (at best) caricature. And for all the gore, sex and violence it still lacks bite. Political satire here entertains rather than protests. Blood Car's limits are tamely within those defined by the Meyer and Waters it emulates. It had no real axe to grind against Hollywood as does Troma. It reeks of clever students showing off.

But although I was ultimately disappointed, I was still entertained for over an hour. It was the low-brainer I needed after an overly-serious and slightly soul-destroying morning. Like the girl who flashes her tits at Archie to get a lift, and is then lured into the boot to see the puppies, I had been happily hooked. It would sound mean to say I'd been had. Even if it's true. And, like me, I bet you want to look in the boot . . .

You have to appreciate what this movie is trying to accomplish and who it is made for. This is a terribly fun movie. The comedy is laugh out loud throughout, plenty of bloody goodness (the scene where Archie taps himself for blood will make even hardened gore fans squirm), and...oh my God...a message that you can sink your teeth into. What a concept, a comedy/thriller that has a point (anyone who doesn't "get it" can find Hostel 2 out on DVD)!

Watching this film is like seeing a good local band. You know you're not going to see Black Sabbath, but you still might see a really rocking group. This isn't Silence of the Lambs, most movies aren't, but it sure as hell is better than most of the garbage out there.

Simple ideas can sometimes lead to brilliance. Take Eraserhead, a very easy film to understand turned into a masterpiece of simple, and modest film-making. The film Primer, one of the most simple story-lines ever conceived became a must-see because of the elementary approachability and simple style it used. And with the amazing title, Blood Car, we are once again given a film that uses a simple approach to put smiles on the masses eager faces.

Eh, to get to the flick, that ramble above wasn't very funny and neither was this movie. The flick revolved around a rather unlikeable poindexter who is trying to make an engine that runs on wheatgrass. Oh yeah, the gas prices are around 30 bucks so no one besides rich people drive cars anymore. Getting back on point, the dork eventually finds out that blood makes his lil engine run, and he eventually gets laid by some hot meat lovin' chick, and he ends up killing people so he can get laid more and be successful. Eh, there's some more tidbits here and there, but there's no reason to get into it.

I had slightly high hopes for this flick. And once again, I'm let down. These son of a bitches out there making these posters are doing some damn good jobs. Pig Hunt and Ink are two other flicks I was tricked into watching because of their cool posters. Bully to that!

The flick ain't all bad as there's some nudity, some okay acting, a couple scenes of splattery blood, and maybe a giggle or two. But the humor in this flick is tacked on much too much. I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who dig this type of college/try too hard/nerd humor, but it's not my cup of tea. Check it out if you're bored, easily amused, or have a vendetta against oil companies. Bah humbug!

I wasn't going to comment, but I felt I had to offset our friend from Romania, who obviously didn't "get it". He would have maybe been right if the film had taken itself seriously, which it certainly didn't.

One thing that puzzles me: In the disclaimer at the end credits, the word "fictitious" is badly misspelled. So is "exhibition". I can't figure out whether this was intentional or somebody actually didn't know how to spell these words. All other words in the paragraph were OK.

Anyway, somebody should make Uwe Boll sit and watch this to learn how to make a no-budget film.

Blood Car is a low budget flick about a near future where people can't afford the gas prices no more, but our young protagonist who really likes his weed-grass accidentally finds out that human blood is a good alternative as fuel.

This was a pretty low budget movie with a slightly interesting concept and some fun ideas. However the overall execution left much to be desired, there is bad acting and questionable decisions for lots of the characters. The movie is not meant to be taking seriously and it definitely has its fun which can be respected. The style reminded me a little bit of Quentin Dupieux's movie Rubber (2010) even though that was by far more entertaining. This movie just suffers from its low budget and inexperience and I think there will certainly be an audience who enjoys this however that tough doesn't include me. [4,0/10]