My Little Pony: The Princess Promenade

In my life, Pre-Princess Promenade, I was a mess. A miserable buffoon who walked around spouting racist vulgarities, shoplifting from The Goodwill and punching random toddlers in the face. My life was empty and in desperate need of something to provide fulfillment. I was on the verge of suicide when an amazing thing happened. This movie came on and I immediately felt a surge of life shoot through my veins! I had finally found that missing piece and my life felt complete!

I took the razor away from my wrist and ran out onto the street where I began hugging everyone I could find. I grabbed an old lady and after she stopped screaming, I hugged her tight and whispered "You are special and I love you." I was overcome with a brand new positive attitude!

When the cops came I gave each of them a big kiss on the cheek and told them I understood why my face was being held to the hood of the car and that they were both really good at their job. Life had new meaning!

That night in jail I walked up to a group of ruffians and sat down. I told them their game of spades would have to wait, for I had something amazing to share with them. I told them all about this wonderful little movie called "My Little Pony: The Princess Promenade" and how it had really changed my life. I don't think many of them were quite ready for my message of hope, but I believe that I touched some hearts that night. Later on I let everybody know that I was not upset and that I thought my two new black eyes really complimented the color of my face. I was now literally seeing the world through a brand new pair of eyes!

Well, needless to say, this film affected me very deeply. It is a powerful story about what it means to really be alive. It is, without a doubt, the single greatest achievement in cinematic history and is comparable to "Citizen Kane" and "The Godfather". It will continue to change lives and live forever in the hearts and minds of those who it has already touched.

A very heartfelt thank you goes out to the amazing filmmakers! You, my friends, should be seriously considered for a Nobel Peace prize, for I believe that a few more movies of this caliber could bring an end to hunger, poverty and war. Thank you!

Though it has been two years since its official release, it is easily the best film of 2008. In my humble opinion, it is the best of the "My Little Pony" series. Second only to the film classic "Last Tango in Paris" in terms of its cutting edge cinematography and intriguing and highly original plot, it stands alone as a masterpiece in regards to its careful handling of a very difficult subject. This movie has something for everybody. It is a raw and unapologetic social commentary for a generation in search of the answers to the biggest questions of our age with sing-a-longs you can have on your iPod and not be ashamed to show off. The music is inspired and wonderfully executed, and it's cinematic score was simply breathtaking. My only hope is that when I have children, they can draw from the knowledge and wisdom I have gained from watching this brilliant piece of cinema. This is the only movie I have ever recommended to all my friends and have been thanked for afterwards.

Never before has such a touching, heartwarming film succeeded so well as both a captivating family film and an epic adventure. It finds its way into the hearts of people from all walks of life and fills their soul with happiness and joy. The dialogue is spot on and surprisingly edgy for such a film - as though the writers of The Shield began writing for talking ponies. Yet it fits perfectly. You can almost imagine such words coming from the mouths of real ponies.

The cinematography was excellent. Scenic landscapes and a deep focus allow the viewer to take in the breadth and beauty of the setting and drives us closer into the Ponies' world.

The graphic sex scene was also masterfully executed, with the camera moving over our copulating couple with smooth grace and majesty as their bodies ripple and throb before us. Don't feel dirty if this scene arouses you, you are feeling exactly what the director, in what will be his most memorable credit, wants us to feel. Not since Spielberg has such a person been able to inspire such a swell of emotion in his audience members through the manipulation of two dimensional imagery.

There's a certain measure of beauty striven for by artists in this world, a dream of absolute aesthetic perfection heretofore thought unreachable by the flawed hand of humanity. This dream has just become reality. My Little Pony: The Princess Promenade has opened a doorway to a realm of staggering beauty, one that can't be explained away with simple words. To watch this film is an experience like no other. To quaff the heady brew of its majesty is to wrap yourself in a blanket of enlightenment. You don't just see its purity, you taste it. It fills you. I am not a religious man, but this film is as close to God as one can come in this wretched world of ours.

Any attempt at analysis of how the film achieves what it does is meaningless. One can certainly break it down into its component parts, though this yields more questions than answers. (1) A narrative of staggering force and clarity. (2) Simple yet elegant camera-work, comparable to the masterworks of Ozu, yet leagues beyond even his understated beauty. (3) A swirling palette of colors, always moving yet never extravagant. (4) A troupe of actors who will accept nothing less than to become these noble beasts, to cast off the shackles of their own human identities and, through their words, conjure a kind of concentrated beauty from the very aether around them. Yet this is nothing more than a simplification--a reduction of what is by definition vast and unknowable to a straightforward list of observable attributes. MLP:TPP is so much more than the sum of its parts, and must be felt to be believed.

That this film hasn't received more critical attention is a monumental tragedy. Though perhaps... perhaps the real tragedy is within ourselves. It may be that we are simply not ready to open our hearts, let the scales fall from our eyes, and embrace the only true beauty that really exists in this world: My Little Pony.

In my eighteen years on this earth, I have been able to see many movies, some of them great, some of them terrible. Only one of them, however, has been able to move me to tears of exultation and utter, boundless joy. That movie, my friends, is My Little Pony: The Princess Promenade. The My Little Pony series has always been known for its cutting-edge approach to film-making as it tackles tough issues and offers a refreshing commentary on surprisingly deep subject matter. Princess Promenade goes even further than its wonderful predecessors. This movie is the second coming of Christ. It is an orgasm for the senses. It is the word "perfect," transformed into an animated, watchable form. It is love itself. It is like an evolved form of oxygen that is so much fresher than a typical breath of fresh air. If you don't see this movie, you have never experienced life or seen color or felt a single genuine, worthwhile emotion. Life begins and ends with my pony friends at the peerless Princess Promenade.