The English Harem

"Martine Mccutcheon, that cute Londoner, in three-in-a-bed romps with Art Malik and two other women? I'm there!" Yep, this was the advance publicity for this drama, that Tiffany from Eastenders would finally shed her inhibitions and join the ranks of those who had 'exposed' themselves on screen. Unfortunately for those who might have built their hopes up, the part in question is a dream sequence and lasts for all of five seconds. Oh, and all the participants are fully clothed. So you can open the curtains now, and put away the Vaseline, as you won't be needing it. Never mind..

To get to the main thrust of the plot.. Martine plays Tracy Pringle, a frustrated checkout girl who has dreams of living in the Far East. Sacked for being inattentive, she looks for another job and soon ends up as a waitress at an Persian restaurant owned by Iraqi Sam (Art Malik) and his two wives. At first, things are a bit strained between the couple but, encouraged by Sam's wives, a bond starts to develop between them.. Ultimately leading to marriage and becoming the third member of the harem. Sadly, Tracy's parents and her racist ex-boyfriend aren't exactly thrilled at the news, and scheme to win her back. Can love conquer all??

Based on a book, the plot of this sounds absolutely fascinating and, combined with the heavy trailering around the festive period, almost certainly has made it a Christmas hit. The treatment however, is nothing short of conventional, as the characters have all the depth of those in a soap opera. Key among these is Tracy's ex-partner, who has no distinguishing traits other than the ability to act like a complete bigoted idiot. It is very difficult to muster much interest in such boring people, and what started out as a fascinating expose of culture clashes quickly turns into a predictable melodrama as Sam meets with a nasty accident, and Tracy must save his children from an overzealous social worker. Special mention must also go to the ending, which manages to be stupid, implausible and insulting all at the same time. On the bright side, Martine's Cockney charm shines though, and the two other members of the harem are certainly hotties. Perhaps if things don't pick up for them career-wise, they will consider starring in something along the lines of the first paragraph. Now that really would be worth waiting for.. 4/10

Complete and utter rubbish!! Trying to understand the purpose behind this trash?? If it was education about Islam, then it was certainly a very false and distorted attempt. The guy is drinking and having group sex but very practising when it comes to the 4 wives rule because that's what it's all about...seriously! No doubt people like that exist who cherry pick what suits them, but it was clear that not much research had gone into the actual issue of polygamy . The strict laws and regulations about practising polygamy is not explored because no doubt it would have taken all the juice out of this project. This no doubt only serves to widen the misconceptions that non-muslims may have about Islam and such controversial (even in the Islamic world) issues or perhaps the aim was to just misguide even more. The storyline was so weak, felt like the writer was writing for the sake of writing. If the purpose was just wasting time in the name of entertainment then it served its purpose. Guess Martine McCutcheon couldn't get any other good roles to play so she had to settle for this rubbish. Not much research had even gone into the Iranian culture either which by the way is different to the Arabian culture of deserts, sand etc. How can I get back the two hours that I wasted on this garbage??

hi i absolutely love good movies, dramas and soaps. whilst on the internet looking at a website i seen something about the English Harem. seeing that Art Malik was in it made me really want to watch it. when it finally aired on our screens i was so happy because i hadn't seen Art on TV since he left Holby City. as sat for two hours watching this it made me realise that some people can be very racist and not appreciate other religious views (e.g Sam being allowed up to 4 wives.) Art and Martine played their roles brilliantly and with passion that shows what good actors they really are and i wish them all the best in what ever they do next.

Emma Crowe

This was not vintage Art Malik, but I found it an enjoyable and slightly tongue-in-cheek look at the clash of two cultures. To be fair it was not a particularly realistic plot, indeed at times it was rather thin, but for all that was able to show just how bigoted and inconsiderate some people can be, on both sides of the cultural fence. Martine McCutcheon's role quite delicately displayed just how limited and narrow some people can become in their lives. For me, however, Tony Slattery's slightly bumbling social worker role had distinct shades of Cleveland and Orkney, (older readers will know what I mean), in a situation which affects far too many people in today's society. It had relevance at a time when there is far too little understanding of how other people live, and perhaps should have taught everyone, even those holding more extreme views, that we should always take people's feelings into account. It will certainly get a second and third run in the DVD player.

(This film was broadcast at 9pm on 27/12/05 on ITV1) At a time when hostility and prejudice towards Muslims and Islam is at an all time high I was frankly appalled by such a film being given air time, in fact prime time, on a mainstream television channel. This programme is utterly ridiculous in nature, bears no resemblance to the lives of normal practising Muslims and is full of untruths and sensationalism. Exactly what sort of audience ITV wants to entertain with this I am not sure... the BNP perhaps? It is obvious that the producers of this show have no real understanding of Islam and the many millions of people in Britian and around the world who practise it. It is also obvious that no attempt was made to even research the subject. Even in the most biased of news reports or the most right wing tabloids it is hard to find misrepresentation of Muslims matching this level. The star character, while claiming to be Muslim, doesn't pray, drinks alcohol, practises group sex - as was on more than one occasion implied, and is strictly "haram" (forbidden) in Islam - while his wives seem to be portrayed as little more than sex objects. Polygamous marriages, while not the culture in the west and obviously controversial, are rarely undertaken by practising Muslims and, when they are, are NOT done purely for physical gratification but for a number of more socially important reasons (usually involving children, financial support of women, etc). The show deliberately takes a complex issue and twists it for the purpose of sensationalism. The theme of society being prejudiced toward the family is a very thin veil for a programme that does nothing but promote such prejudice. If this drama had not been so inflammatory I would wonder why it was even on television, let alone in a prime slot... the plot and dialogue are laughable, the characters pure two-dimensional clichés. It smells like a dodgy low-budget B film, produced quickly just to fill a bit of free space, yet takes a 9pm slot in a Christmas period.