The Witches of Breastwick

The Witches of Breastwick (2005)

*** (out of 4)

Fun softcore spoof has David (Joe Souza) having a dream that he is tied up by three mysterious women. This dream has been going on for several weeks and his wife Tiffany (Monique Parent) is started to get worried. Soon the two are out having sex and David notices a tree from his dream. Soon they go searching and find the women from David's dream.

As the title suggests, this here is one of those low-budget spoofs and this one here is actually pretty darn good. If one is looking for CITIZEN KANE then obviously you're not going to find it here but if you're a fan of these softcore spoofs then there's a lot to enjoy here. Director Jim Wynorski pretty much delivers one non-stop sex scene after another with one beautiful woman right after the other.

What I enjoy most about Whynorski's work is that there's really no fat in the picture and he pretty much keeps things moving at a very fast pace. There's nothing worse than watching a plot less film that pretty much slows down and you lose interest in what you're seeing. Some might say that there's nothing to see in a film like this outside of the women and I'd somewhat agree but I'm sure we've all seen films that are full of nudity and yet they still get boring.

THE WITCHES OF BREASTWICK has a fairly funny, if very simple, plot and the actors all do a nice job with their scenes. Souza makes for a good leading actor in a film like this and he's got some real beauties surrounding him including Stormy Daniels, Julie K. Smith and Jodie Moore. As you'd expect, the sex scenes are pretty non-stop but they're quite sexy and fun.

I was up late one night playing starcraft when I happened to stumble upon this movie, given the clever title, I decided to watch it. Although my friends KT and Kain were disappointed that I left my game to watch this movie, all I can say is that this movie was head and shoulders above any game I've ever played. Quite possibly one of the best Cinemax movies of all time, the scenes are realistic and the women scorching, although some of the witches are definitely more endearing than the others, the plot line has a nice balance of tackyness and credibility, and there are tons of different scenes to satisfy all of those looking for some good, late-night movies, including G-G and M-G. Although it isn't going to be winning any awards, the acting isn't half bad and is much better than what is usually on. I give it 10 out of 10 inches.

Right, well I was lead to believe that this 2005 movie "The Witches of Breastwick" from writer and director Jim Wynorski was a comedy spoof, though I have to admit that the movie's title was setting off an alarm. Yet, I opted to give the movie the benefit of the doubt. And with it being listed as a romantic fantasy here on IMDb, I figured that it might not be all that bad.

Boy was I wrong. "The Witches of Breastwick" is a softcore porn movie, through and through. And I turned off the movie not even 8 minutes into the ordeal. But by then there had been enough imitated sex scenes to indicate what kind of movie this was. And I just have no interest in watching that, life is too short for these kind of movies.

Needless to say that I wasn't familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list, or performers might be a more adequate term to use here.

And I have zero interest in attempting to watch the remaining 70 minutes of the movie. I just have no interest in it whatsoever.

My rating of writer and director Jim Wynorski's 2005 movie "The Witches of Breastwick" lands on a one out of ten stars. A fun pun on the "Witches of Eastwick" movie, for sure, but the contents of this dumpster fire of a movie ain't worth the time of day.

Jim Wynorski delivers another sexy comedy/horror.much like the earlier sorceress with the the tall Amazonian babe;Julie strain.anyway even though there's no plot to get in the way of the movie,its enjoyable sexy fun . a man(Matt dalpiaz) and his sexy red head wife(Monique parent)meet three sexy witches(Glori Anne gilbert,Julie k smith,and stormy Daniels) then there's come cameos by wynorski regulars jay Richardson and Antonia Dorian.about 10 years back i had the pleasure of meeting starlet; Glori Anne gilbert at a comic convention in Orlando Florida.shes very nice and down to earth.and treats her fans like friends.Glori Anne gilbert is a very beautiful sexy starlet,catch her in the 2003 film; curse of the komodo.the truth is i enjoy b-movies more then mainstream movies.i guess my tastes are very much like critic Joe bob Briggs. kudos to mr wynorski,keep making em ill keep watching em.6 out of 10.

You've got to be a die-hard fan to embrace this one. Though the film has many exciting scenes, and an interesting idea, it goes on too long and only comes to life near the climax. There are many reasons why this film doesn't work, but the most obvious one is simple: it's played way too straight and serious for its own good. The movie's opening scene is its best. Overall, the film was, I would say, "eh". I will never understand the hate for this movie. I found it to be sensational. Like other great dramadies, it is filled with charm, innocence and drama and romance. It's not quite worth 8 out of 10, so I give it a solid 7 out of 10 and urge you to check it out if you can find it.