Creepshow 3

I rarely write comments on IMDb, but it is 3 o'clock in the morning, and I have to comment on the terrible film I just watched--Creepshow 3. When I first heard that a new Creepshow was being made, I thought that might be cool, but then I heard the original players were not involved. Then, I saw the trailer, which was terrible. Yet, I decided to give it a chance.

I will admit that it was not unenjoyable--just not good. The special effects were fun, and the production values of the filming were not bad. Yet, the animation at the beginning and ending of the film are terrible and amateurish. They should not have used that opening segment with animation. The movie has no relation to Creepshow except that it is an anthology. There was nothing scary, and there were almost no night scenes--everything was lit. The stories made no sense most of the time and seemed absurd (the first story with the remote--why was the remote changing realities? Was it only that family? Why did the girl turn hideous? The doctor said it looked like her insides, but what had she done to deserve this "punishment" since her family was more obnoxious? What was the purpose of the rabbit? Then, I questioned if the remote could change things, why didn't the doctor use the remote on his wife's corpse?) That was just the first story. Even though the stories connected, the chronology did not work. For example, Alice was eating the wedding cake before she turned into a rabbit, but the doctor picked up the cake after Alice was turned into a rabbit. Those logical holes were all over the place. Absurdity is a part of horror, but these had no connections that made any sense. They often led into weak endings. Also, why did no one question what was happening to them? Oh well, it was mindless, and I won't watch it again, but they should not have attached the Creepshow name to the film. The tone was completely off--too jokey. It needed terror. One of the actors said this was the best of the three--did he see the others?

I have watched some dire "horror" movies out of boredom but this is probably the single worst film I've possibly seen. It starts promisingly enough but soon disintegrates into a dire rambling series of stories that not only are badly acted and plotted but make no sense. There is an attempt to link the whole thing together but again it's just nonsense. I stuck with it hoping some over-reaching arc would tie the thing together and make me nod knowingly in an ironic sense. But nothing redeems this truly awful movie. If I didn't know different I'd assume this was made more than 20 years ago with the porn film soundtrack and what little effects there are add nothing to this waste of an hour and a half.

Creepshow is the best horror film ever made. Creepshow 2 was at least decent. This 2006 effort (I use that word kindly) is utterly useless. Containing no feel from the original, an obvious bare-bones budget, and thoroughly disappointing actors, Creepshow III (it should not be able to use the name) simply stinks. Fans of the first two should watch this only to fuel their anger or to mock. I rented this from an automated Redbox unit. (Very cool concept by the way) The rental cost only one dollar. I may have overpaid. I realize that studios and other big companies usually own the rights to film names, but some comment by King and Romero denouncing this trash would be very satisfying. Horror fans, beware of this one!

This is easily one of the worst movies I've ever seen to this point in my life. It isn't scary, it isn't funny, it isn't even trying to be good. It is an annoying film and to use the Creepshow name should insult fans of the original films. But anyways, here are the stories:

Alice - Every time a man uses a new remote control, his daughter Alice turns into some slimy, pimply, oozing mess. Eventually she becomes a rabbit. Makes absolutely no sense and is horribly put together.

The Radio - A man buys a radio from a homeless guy and starts to hear voices coming from it telling it to steal some money and kill anyone who threatens him. Better than 'Alice', but drags on way too much.

Call Girl - A prostitute/serial killer gets more than she bargained for when she gets set to claim her next victim. This might be the best of the whole bunch, interesting twist.

The Professor's Wife - Two former students murder the professor's fiancé thinking she is a robot. Silly and pointless, but is better than the first two.

Haunted Dog - Some rude doctor gives a homeless man a hotdog that he picked off the ground. The homeless man chokes on it (I think) and dies. He then haunts the doctor until he dies. I got a few laughs from the miserable doctor played by Kris Allen, best actor in Creepshow III. Nothing special though.

And that's it. Pretty bad movie overall. What annoys me is that throughout each story when something strange or illogical happens, the characters don't react. For example when the radio starts speaking to the character, he sort of shrugs it off and starts speaking back to it like it's something normal. None of the stories make a lot of sense, and add nothing to this nothing of a horror movie.

2/10

I loved the first Creepshow, I accepted the second Creepshow, but I truly detested the third. The first two had intriguing stories and decent acting. The third, had stories that were below par and lame acting. The stories were in no way keeping with the first two movies, and gore, there wasn't enough to keep me even a little interested. The second Creepshow had only three stories, but they were decent. Well written, and pretty good acting. The third, however, feels as though a group of teenagers got together and wrote the stories, and then invited their friends to act for them. Instead of renting the third Creepshow, just rent the original and enjoy.

By the way, when I found out that the guys who co wrote Day of the Dead 2: Contagium were involved in making this movie, I finally understood why it was so bad.