Episode list

Freddie makes a date with a hostess from his restaurant on the same night he's agreed to watch Zoey. Luckily, Chris steps in to babysit, but when Sofia returns early, Freddie's busted. Meanwhile Freddie's wild sister-in-law, Allison, is having a breakdown after the death of Freddie's brother, Joe, so he reluctantly invites her to come live with the family until she gets herself together.

Freddie and Chris take a new approach to meeting women. After a series of unsuccessful dates with spoiled rich girls, the two decide to find "down to earth" women at a laundromat in their old neighborhood. Freddie runs into Gina, a nice girl from high school, and Chris meets Krystal, a girl easily impressed by his money. But when Freddie dates the woman he and his family think could be a perfect match for him, he ends up learning more about himself than he bargained for.

Freddie is excited to learn that top food critic Walter Fishbain will be reviewing the restaurant, but he becomes stressed out when he learns that Fishbain is the Walter he beat up in high school presuming he deflorated sister Sofia, who is even more worried because she doesn't want Freddie to find out the truth about her and Walter. Allison gives 13-year-old Zoey a makeover using Chris's credit card, grandma milks her to keep it quiet.

It's Halloween, but Sofia managed to bleach daughter Zoe's vampire costume: ruined. Freddy ingeniously improvises an 'old-school' pumpkin suit, but the spoiled brats only appreciate fashionable fancies. Sophia feels guilty but would miss more med study if she takes the kid to play trick or treat, so ever too kind Uncle Freddy volunteers. When Allison tells them about the Rocky Horror Picture Show, his and Chris's first-ever X-rated movie, they accept to take Zoe there instead. Seeing the creepy costumes lining up, joined by cross-dressing Chris -murder on his butt, but dragging two girls- Freddie doubts, but ends up even taking along class mates Mandy and Marissa, despite dreading the parents finding out, with good reason...

While her teenage daughter is on a far school-trip to Lincoln's grave, Freddie and Chris feels it's an ideal opportunity for ever-studying Sofia to have some fun, so they invite her to their After Hours party in the restaurant, where they usually pick up one-night-stands, for Chris enough to fill his hot-tub. After curing her obsessive phone calls to Zoey, Freddie worries when Sofia hits on a certain Kurt, after years without dating...

Freddie worries his customers stop ordering his desserts and finds out that lucrative part of business is largely taken over by a new bakery. When he and Chris -who quickly caves in to the fine products- go there, they find its owner, Rose, is graduated from a Paris culinary institute and quite attractive. Freddie is too deeply hurt and insulted to act, but Chris takes her out and finds a compromise: Freddie can buy her goodies and sell them on his menu which will credit her bakery. Both friends have a romantic interest in the baker. When pushy Chris gets dumped and still refuses him permission to chase her, Freddie ignores the time-honored veto...

Freddie still feels for an Italian girl, master baker Rose, but hesitates because Chris dated her first. His lousy mate releases Rose suspiciously easy after another talk, and Freddie doesn't catch on when she accepts to see him Saturday for a romantic dinner at her place, even when she insists he must wear his chef's hat. It only dawns upon him when she present her other guest, actually her hot date, Marco. Yet Freddie, who didn't show his disappointment and served his rival the feast he hoped to share, cares enough to test his rival by sending on him his own foxy ex Cindy, with another surprising outcome...

Freddie's Portorican pa Carlos, who abandoned his family when the boy was four, suddenly announces a visit, which Freddie, full of grudging anger, only allows as a birthday present for grandma, Carlos's adoring mother. Chris's latest impulse buy are two armored knight's costumes. Carlos seems so repentant and eager to play a part in the Morenos' lives again that Freddie -mindlessly copied by Sofia- considers giving him a break. Then he announces he wants to move to Chicago- acceptable if he takes grandma off Freddie's hands, until...

Chris's new toy target is bidding on celebrity memorabilia at a charity auction. Zoe wants, purely for fashionable peer rivalry, a new $300 cell-phone but frugal mother Sophia denies the waste she can't effort and after sugar-uncle Freddie secretly gave Zoe one out of the goodness of his generous heart, she makes the spoiled brat give it up when she and once truly poor, now even worse-spoiled grandma find the box. Freddie was supposed to take Zoe to the soup-kitchen he and Chris pay for every month, but as Chris points out they would miss the auction the mates take her along. Not only does barely interested Chris outbid Freddie for his only fancy, a blood-stained Muhammed Ali towel, Allison who had orders to bid by Internet up to $10,000 for Chris goes $35,000 over that limit and Zoe, who has already shamelessly spoiled Freddie who was bidding $400 for a Harry Potter wand, stupidly bids $900 -skipping $500 etc- without even asking. Freddy finally realizes the brat needs to learn the value of the dollar by earning her waste back the old-fashioned way...

After an early Christmas party in Freddie's flat, nasty jealous neighbor Jay, a whorer, invokes the Rivers Lake Towers bylaws. Despite her personal sympathy for Freddie, tenants association representative Reyerson has no alternative but demand that his relatives move out, unless a majority signs a petition. Allison, who lives in Freddie's closet, moves temporarily to Chris's flat, making him realize they do the same thing, so he must be depressed too... Meanwhile Freddie finds nobody wants to sign their petition because the Moreno females are all generally hated for their countless faults after only six months. Their last hope is a suck-up dinner where even grandma apologizes (well, in Freddie's 'cleaned-up' translation), which still doesn't swing it, till triumphing Jay makes a bad choice of words...

When his smart sister Sofia claims Freddie is little more then a toy for his girlfriend Celia, he's determined to prove her wrong. Surprisingly Chris thinks of a way to impress her intellectual friends at a fancy party, where he will still be introduced as 'the cook' but tries to shine with information packaged the one way his brain remembers brilliantly: like recipes. Alas he 'greedily' tries to add sentences, and soon gets caught in them...

After a failed blind date with Allison's friend Susan, Freddie feels a Catholic singles mixer party is likely to be an equally depressing leftover dish, but horny Chris is so excited he actually invites the parish to have it in the restaurant and scores easily with Veronica, a girl he can even make believe quite a while he's a circumcised Catholic. To Chris's pleasant surprise, Freddie finds a really nice, yet sassy girl there, Denise. Only after taking her out for a week, Freddie learns Denise is also- still a virgin, who doesn't want to wait any more, so should he get as serious as he meant, but then probably all the way, as grandma insists she's the one for him, while he isn't ready to settle down?

Freddie is not amused Chris passed himself off as the boss to Todd, the judge in an eligible bachelors competition he entered himself for, but plays along during an interview at home as publicity for the restaurant. The mates rival, very roughly, only Chris is deeply disappointed when Vince Vaughn, who didn't even enter, wins, never having achieved something on his own at 28.

Chris has bought out the other investors in the restaurant, so he can terrify Freddie with the crazy content of his book of (nutty) ideas... Freddie is suddenly eager to bring grandma to a confession session in church when she hints hot date Denise Montoya will be there. Alas, the priest still publicly mentions parishioner Freddie Morena in many of his sermons as a bad example, Chris antagonizes him further and Freddie's virgin flame already found another. Chris suggests Denise's lover may not be as serious, unwillingly confirmed by the priest, so Freddie invites her for a romantic dream evening, only she brings her charming, riper boyfriend James; yet grandma tells her, in Spanish...

Freddie is torn between two women: his current girlfriend Denise and Chris' ex-girlfriend Rose.

Grandma wakes Freddie ridiculously early to make him dump Denise, but hands him the phone after speed-miss-dialing Chris's cellphone. After breakfast Chris presents more ludicrous ideas for the restaurant, making interviews for a cook for his new restaurant even more difficult; against Freddie's warning, he chooses 'novel' (i.e. fellow nut-case) Spyder, and grants his 'nameless guy, but with a pager' exclusivity for all expensive work at the restaurant, again ignoring Freddie's objections, till his own sensible suggestions finally succeed in shaming the weirdo, to Chris's anger. Freddie presents a model...

Grandma is grumpier then ever, which means vicious as vitriol since her only remaining single friend got married, so impossible to live with that the younger family members spend a week looking for senior male companionship for the old goat. Just when it felt hopeless, Chris figures out the drug store is the ideal hunting ground; Freddie realizes clerk Hector actually considers grandma desirable, so he invites the man, but she notices the match-making and refuses to go along. Then Sofia discovers nature has finally taken its course again, only with a surprising third man...

Freddie hears bad news: his girl friend and potential fiancée Denise has got a job offer on Hawai, so while he tells her not to want to stand between her and happiness Freddie really hopes desperately she will choose to stay with him. Alas Chris manages to blurt out that all men keep score of their 'conquests', while Denise is still at zero for virgin, which puts the dreaded question of Freddie's romantic 'number' on the table, daunting despite some of Chris's 'creative' arithmetics...

Zoe has a boy-friend, Max Lopez, so Freddie allows Sophia to invite the kid and his entire working class family. While the children play video-games but soon discover they aren't matched because of their different background and interests -she asks for his favorite recent book, he can barely believe she has two- the men get caught up in Latino macho talk, which soon leads them back to the grim neighborhood of their poor youth, where the proudest -yet yellow- Lopez gets them both in real trouble, bar fighting, while the shier one is introduced to Chris's all too enviable life of luxury...

Freddie and Chris become infatuated with the mothers of two girls having a sleepover with Zoey at Freddie's place.

It's the opening night of Chris's restaurant, the ingeniously named @Chris.

After finding out that Chris used his share of Freddie's restaurant as collateral for his own failed restaurant venture, Freddie insists that Chris ask his wealthy grandfather Carl, for money to pay off the debt. Carl is displeased with Chris' slacker lifestyle and impressed with Freddie's work ethic, so he makes Chris work as his chauffeur to teach him a lesson about money and responsibility. When Chris feels humiliated, he pushes back, and the result is that grandfather pays off the loan but takes Chris's trust fund and condo in return. So Chris ends up homeless at Freddie's already crowded apartment.