Prehistoric Terror

I saw this movie and while it wasn't really too bad for this genre, I had problems believing a few things:

1: The main character is a very good caving expert but they go into this very "perilous" caved in mine with out basic safety gear like helmets.

2: After 58 years, the power is still on in the mine and the lights still work. This was lucky because nobody seemed to be carrying any torches or lights.

3: After 58 years, this mine, beside a lake, has no water in it.

4: The second thing that they all do, after turning on the lights, is to jump on this rickety old wooden elevator to descend 2000 feet. This seems foolish to me especially for some caving "expert".

5: The two-way radios do not look like low frequency cave radios and their reception seems really really good after going through 2000 feet of rock?

6: Can you really get these rocket-propelled anchors that you can shoot into rock that will then hold firm enough to swing from? If so, shouldn't you test them before using them to swing across an abyss?

7: Why does a "caver" need a rocket-propelled emergency beacon?

8: The main character carried a very small back-pack. It seemed barely big enough for the rocket-propelled anchor with about 15 feet of rope, rocket-propelled emergency beacon and explosives that he took. I am not an expert but I would have taken more caving equipment like torches, ropes, helmets, slings, harness.

9: Why do the "laser rifles" need to be cocked (but not reloaded) every now and then? Where does the rock go when it is disintegrated?

10: I didn't know that emeralds actually generated their own light. But they looked pretty.

11: I saw baby monster beetles coming out of a dead mans mouth. If the young are only 2 inches long, then why are the eggs nearly a foot long?

12: Why kill the old man if that meant that they would only be able to make one trip down the mine to get emeralds? Why not leave him alive and sneak down as many times as they wanted and get as many emeralds as they wanted? Why are the bad guys so dumb?

13: Why kill Colm Meanie before he has helped carry emeralds to the surface?

14: Who keeps a loaded shotgun hanging on their living room wall?

In all sincerity, I really like finding a movie with this many gaffs.

"Caved In" features several 'name' actors who are unfortunately reduced to acting in such a by-the-books film. Christopher Atkins and Angela Featherstone play husband and wife John and Samantha Palmer who, along with their 2 children work as guides of some sort (I don't recall is being specifically stated what they do other than take people around strange places).

Instead of going on a family vacation, John Palmer accepts on offer of a lot of money to take some less-than-respectable people into some ancient caverns to hunt for a tomb full of emeralds. So he does, while his family are left to explore above-ground. Naturally, things get out of hand in the old tunnels when giant (CGI) beetles begin attacking, and one-by-one the bad guys all begin to get killed off, or double crossed. The bugs begin making their way to the surface, putting Palmer's family in even more danger.

The acting is not too bad, well, it shouldn't be considering who some of the cast are. Christopher Atkins and Angela Featherstone both give decent performances, but poor Colm Meany, formerly of "Star Trek" fame is reduced to little in his role here. Monica Dean and David Palffy are fairly good in their roles as criminals, though one of them has a heart. Chelan Simmons spends the entire movie being unlivable annoying and / or running around screaming. It's a good thing her acting ability also improves for her next film "Final Destination 3".

Sci-Fi and Horror are combined often for films ("Event Horizon", "Alien") but do not always work well together. This is one of those cases where it's really personal preference, as the film lacks a lot of things, but it is not without trying.

Reptilicus said just about everything. I would like to know 2 things however. First - why do all animate creatures in movies have to roar? I thought that the best beetles could do is click. Second - Where can I get one of those shotguns that never has to be re-loaded? This film could have been made in the 1950's.

The plot really was a fill in the blank effort. The big problem is that they only filled in 3 blanks - character names, location, and type of ridiculous "monster".

The least the Sci-Fi channel is do, is to hire Charles Band to produce and direct these movies. At least he knows how to do it properly.

Just another of the Sci-Fi channel's dismal and disappointing offerings.

In 1948, a group of miners finds a gallery full of emeralds in a salt mine in Switzerland, but they are attacked by giant black beetles and only one of them survives. In the present days, the explorer John Palmer (Christopher Atkins) is ready to take vacations in Greece with his family when he is contacted and invited by a stranger called Vincent (Colm Meaney) to lead his team in an expedition into a mine in Switzerland. In return, Vincent offers a large amount to John and the cottage nearby a lake and the entrance of the mine for his family spends the vacation. John accepts the offer, and while leading the group underground in the tunnels, he finds that their ambitious leader Marcel (David Palffy) is a very dangerous man. When John meets giant black beetles in the cave, he orders the group to return but Marcel threatens the safety of his family, forcing John to lead the team to the deep location of the emerald mine.

"Caved In" is a B-movie with the usual flaws of this type of film, such as bad acting, silly lines, poor effects and a flawed and in this case corny screenplay. However, it is funny and entertains if the viewer likes those low-budget horror / sci-fi from the 50's and 60's. The blonde Chelan Simmons spends her time screaming and saying the most stupid lines of the story. The teenager Stevie Mitchell is young and has time to dedicate to another profession, or at least try to study how to act, how terrible his acting is in this film. Colm Meaney, Angela Featherstone, David Palffy and Christopher Atkins have good performances and Monica Birladeanu is extremely gorgeous. In the end, I did not totally dislike this forgettable film. My vote is four.

Title (Brazil): "A Caverna Maldita" ("The Damned Cave")

Plot

Disguised as extreme adventurers, a group of high profile thieves unknowingly lead a group of wealthy tourists on an expedition through an abandoned salt mine that is guarded by ancient creatures.

Cast

Christopher Atkins stinks up every scene he's in, which is sadly most of them. Veteran Colm Meaney looks very out of place and Angela Featherstone and Chelan Simmons both deserve better.

Verdict

When you go in to a Scyfy Original you need to know something, you're likely in for a 90 minute migraine caused by bad writing, awful cgi and more goofs and inconsistencies than you could possibly imagine. Why do we put ourselves through them? I'll let you know when I've figured it out myself!

Caved In is one of the worst I believe I've seen, it doesn't even have the novelty factor of those of the past decade or so and their insistence on combining things to make a premise such as Piranhaconda, Arachnoquake, Ghost Shark, Dragon Wasps etc. A group of people go into a long since boarded up mine which is mysteriously illuminated and face off with giant awfully animated bugs, throw in a sideplot about criminal element and the obligatory goofy kids and you have Caved In.

Awful head scratching stupidity.

Rants

I must applaud user cbrow on his review and list of goofs, there's stuff in there I hadn't even picked up on and demonstrates further that Scyfy can't think much of their audience, either that or they are just dumber than a pierced bag of farts.

The Good

Meaney and Featherstone are always appreciated

The Bad

Goof after goof Dreadful cgi Lead has no place in the industry, he's that bad.