L'enfer de glace

I rented this gem knowing it was a Day After Tomorrow clone. I expected it to be campy and bad.

The special effects were hilarious and just bad. Some times it would be an entire CG shot that looks like some freshman's work with making a 3D model at art school.

Though the best part of the movie is the constant statement that "Science is Never Wrong." If I was playing a drinking game I would have been plastered by the end of this movie. Even the little kid in the movie said science is never wrong.

The physics in this movie are laughable at best. The idea that the last ice age started 10,000 years ago and lasted 1000 years is hilarious.

It was as if the writers, producers and actors couldn't be bothered to check a history book about the ice age anywhere.

Let alone the idea of absolute zero.

All I can say is they must have made this movie for what it was, a great no-brainer campy stupid flick.

One would think the timely subject of global warming and climate change would offer plenty of good fodder for a competent writer but this movie wastes an embarrassment of riches. All the worst adjectives apply here: tired, hackneyed, predictable, boring, etc. I've sat through some remarkably bad movies but I was actually angry with myself for wasting 96 minutes with this one. It starts poorly and the basement level production quality gives the first hint of what's to come. Even if you can get past the abysmal script and cardboard cut-out acting (can't blame the third rate thespians here, they had absolutely zero to work with), there's such bad science being presented that you can't even relate to the events that unfold. The plot takes place in Miami Florida but was filmed in Canada which means stock footage of the Miami skyline and Florida seashore with bad porn incidental music is cut in with actors walking around the port authority of Toronto, a marina in Quebec or some such place. "I see boat masts…it's gotta be South Beach!" The film's laziness with geography is second only to its ignorance of basic science and the direction of the flow of the Gulf Stream. For once the title of the film advertises exactly how entertaining it is. I'll never admit to seeing this one.

Absolute Zero is about a climatologist that discovers that the shifting of the poles causes severe climate change, like -400 degrees. A crooked project manager working for a greedy company hopes to make millions off of the information that the pole change is happening now. The climatologist hooks up with an old buddy that just happened to marry the girl he walked out on. They attempt to tell some dopey politician to get all the sunbathers in Miami to evacuate before the cold snap hits and also save themselves. Tired plot is not helped by the low grade special effects and relatively good acting. Not a great time, but not a total waste of time.

David Koch (Jeff Fahey), a climatologist working for Miami-based Inter-Sci, is suddenly sent to Antarctica to investigate a change in climate. Some scientists on the icy continent were killed when there was an abrupt spike in temperature, resulting in shifting ice flows that sent them into the icy waters below. When David arrives down under, the remaining crew tell him that a "cave" has appeared, one that was not noticeable before, and which may have answers to the current phenomena. David leads a group to the cavern but, despite finding prehistoric "cave paintings" that suggest the climate on Antarctica was once warmer, the unstable weather creates death traps. Only David makes it out alive, natch. Back in Miami, David hooks up with a science colleague and his wife, Bryn (Erika Eleniak) who run data and come to the startling conclusion that the earth's "poles" are shifting and that Miami will become the new Antarctice in less than 4 days. Of course, the scummy, money-grubbing leader of Inter-Sci locks horns with David and insists to the United States military that the change in climate will evolve more slowly and that, in any case, the company has it covered. Ho ho, what fun is ahead! David, it turns out, is correct and soon folks sunning by the posh hotels' pools are being pelted with snow and sleet. With only a limited time to get everyone evacuated from Miami and into "warmer" New York and other upper regions, what will be the result? Actually, as far as "B" movies go, I thought this one was pretty entertaining. The cast is not stellar by any means, with Fahey and Eleniak, longtime B stars, looking older and tired and the others not doing Oscar work either. Then, too, the script veers off into silliness from time to time, as it tries to recount a long ago love affair between David and Bryn. But, when it gets down to science and special effects, the film fares much better. The whole premise is fairly interesting and the "chilling" of Miami is fun to watch. Yes, it takes a few pages from The Day After Tomorrow, with its rolling deep freeze frames. But, what the heck, if you love science fiction and chaotic weather situations, you would probably get a kick out of this one, especially on sweltering summer nights when re-runs are the only other options. Go for it.

ABSOLUTE ZERO is an absolute pig of a film; conceived as a zero-budget, made-in-Canada rip-off of THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW, it has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. The modern-day disaster movies made by the SyFy Channel and The Asylum look like masterpieces by comparison.

The storyline sees part of a glacier breaking off to bring winter to Miami. Soon enough the whole of Florida is at freezing point so it's up to the usual renegade scientist and his extended family to do something about it. Everything imaginable about the movie is horrid: the script, the dialogue, the almost entire lack of believability throughout. The CGI effects of snow drifts and storms look like they've been drawn onto the camera with a child's pencil. The constant melodrama is laughable.

Hardworking B-movie actor Jeff Fahey is the gruff lead here, but even he looks flabby and tired by the whole thing. BAYWATCH actress Erika Eleniak plays his estranged wife, but there were only ever a couple of reasons why she was popular and they've long since headed south. As usual, a couple of annoying teenage children turn out to be the cleverest ones around.