Bloodsuckers

I was actually surprised, it wasn't as bad as I'd thought. OK, it wasn't the best movie I've ever seen but it was still worth watching.

The acting is OK for the most part of the film and there's enough eye candy (Natassia Malthe in leather) for the guys. The special effects could have been better, but are still good enough for me.

The plot was about what you can expect for a movie with a title like this, the only thing that really disturbed me was the cowboy-hats. I mean, sure, they're "space cowboys", but why on earth do they have to wear cowboy hats? A little more depth in the characters wouldn't have hurt either.

If you're out for a mind blowing experience then you should probably view another movie, but if you're into SCI-FI movies and don't mind if the whole vampire-myth gets a little bit trashed this film ought to keep you company, should you get bored some night.

Okay, Bloodsuckers is not a good or great movie, or at least to me. If anything I found it decent and reasonably entertaining, especially compared to other low-budget movies I've seen recently. Bloodsuckers does actually have some note-worthy performances, Joe Lando, who was the best and only good thing about Meteor Apocalypse, is decent, Michael Ironside while underused does a nice job as the villain and Natassia Malthe, complete with a wardrobe that completely flatters her figure, is incredibly sexy and not too bad acting-wise either. The story is also an improvement, true it is predictable and not exactly original(apart from the interesting angle of vampire mind sex) but unlike most other low-budget movies I've recently seen it's actually engaging too, and I say the same thing about the action scenes and the gore. Where Bloodsuckers does fall down is with the rest of the cast aren't as good, either bland or irritating(Leanne Adachi manages to be both those things), the script is of rather cheesy quality, the human characters are stereotypical and not all of them are easy to identify with and the cheap effects for the vampires(who themselves as a whole lacked charisma and menace mostly). Overall, reasonably entertaining but one with many flaws. 5/10 Bethany Cox

In 2210, mankind has explored the space and found a vampiric menace, declaring war against different breeds of vampires some of them inclusive human flesh cannibals. The V-SAN (aka Vampire Sanitation) spaceship leaded by Captain Churchill (Joe Lando) receives a distress call from an Earth base and his team formed by the vampire Quintana (Natassia Malthe), the rookie officer Damian (Dominic Zamprogna) and the rebels Rosa (Leanne Adachi) and Roman (Aaron Pearl) seek survivors and vampires and they rescue the scientist Fiona (A.J. Cook), but Capt. Churchill is captured by the vampires. After their next assignment, the provisional captain Damian and his group disclose that a traitor has disengaged the defense system of the bases and they chase their prime suspect.

I like B-movies, but "Bloodsuckers" has very contradictory characters and situations. The story has some potential but the internal fights and argues and contradictions of the V-SAN team have irritated me. The so-called vampires are actually cannibals and have nothing to do with the traditional vampires that suck blood and fear garlic, crosses, holy water and sunlight. The worm vampire is hilarious and one of the funniest moments of this flick. Natassia Malthe recalls Catherine Zeta-Jones and is also extremely gorgeous. This movie seems to be a forgettable television pilot of a series. My vote is five.

Title (Brazil): "A Guerra dos Vampiros" ("The War of the Vampires")

Man has been to the farthest reaches of the earth and now he is traveling to new worlds. But with new worlds come ancient evils... the vampires of space. And not just a handful but entire tribes. In this film (which I saw as "Bloodsuckers" but I guess also goes as "Vampires Wars") we see what happens when the imperialist earthlings meet the imperialist vampires.

I will make this review very short because it's undeserving of a good review. The best I can say for this film is it has a good cast of b-list and upcoming stars. Natassia Malthe was Quintana, and was far more attractive here than in "Bloodrayne 2". Michael Ironside is Muco, and is always a fan favorite (as I say, he's the poor man's Jack Nicholson). And we even get Carrie-Ann Fleming as "Damian's wife", who horror fans will now recognize as the eponymous Jenifer from Dario Argento's "Jenifer". So this movie, as bad as it is, isn't without some names attached... but the same can be said of Uwe Boll's work.

The concept of the military tracking and killing vampires in space isn't necessarily a bad idea, but it easily falls into the realm of "cheese" and this film falls hard. The acting, especially from the vampires, is over the top and I just didn't find the explanations of their existence very convincing. Worst of all, the vampire tribes have the names "Voorhess" and "Leatherfaces". I understand this was supposed to be a clever reference for the horror fans, but it wasn't clever at all. It just sounded dumb and out of place (unlike the much more subtle references in James Gunn's "Slither", such as naming stores after lesser-known horror directors).

That's all I want to say. If you can stand lots of cheese (on this day I couldn't and I'm from Wisconsin) and want to see average actors with poor costumes fight vampires in space (although "space" looks a lot like any other forest on earth) check this one out, if you can find it. I don't personally recommend this when you can watch other cheesy vampires films (Jon Carpenter's "Vampires") or other cheesy space movies. Or maybe even some good ones. But, hey, do your thing.

I give this movie a 3 as it is worse than the cult movies that deserve a proper 2. It does not make sense to you? Well, it doesn't have to. This is another vampire movie with a stupid plot, no, let me rephrase, incredibly idiotic plot, where space cowboys (complete with cowboy hats) battle a space race of moron vampires.

Does it get any uglier than this? The only good thing in this movie was Natassia Malthe, with her stunning Norwegian beauty. God, I wish Michael Ironside and the DeLuise brothers would stop accepting dumb roles in dumb movies! I mean, at least SeaQuest was nice! I know Mr. Ironside from a lot of movies, he has acted in 164 movies at this date!! It's true that he was rarely in a major role, but still!