The Guatemalan Handshake

Watching this movie was so tedious and laborious that I think I would have enjoyed a punch in the stomach far more. Now this is an indie movie that you've probably never heard of, and for good reason too, but pray that you stay lucky and never accidentally see it. Who knows, someone may break into your home, tie you and your family up, and force you to sit through it. Once is torture, more could be lethal.

This is like an un-funny version of Napoleon Dynamite... Except Napoleon Dynamite wasn't funny.

Do yourself a favor and avoid this movie. You'll thank me. And yourself. And which ever God you believe in.

I originally saw this film at Slamdance, and it left me wanting more. While it's visually arresting, the ideas all seem brilliant but incoherent. I struggled with the puzzle for a year. It took me that long to come around to the conclusion that it didn't all have to add up. That unlike most cinema, where there's the thematic wrap-up at the conclusion... this film doesn't leave you with that same sense of Hollywood satisfaction. It jumps through characters each struggling with their place in the world; each slamming and being slammed in an unpredictable fashion. And this is what I was left with. Not a neatly wrapped present but an open box that's had its guts dumped all over the ground. This is a film that I imagine will get better each time you watch it. Familiarity with the huge cast of characters, and their relationships to each other will only assist with interpretation. But brain-candy aside, the moments in the film are enough to keep you smiling. 8/10

...everything that's wrong with "indie" film. This is a hatefully pretentious, yet mind- bogglingly stupid film, made more maddening by the apparent size of the budget.

It's as if the director sat down and wrote a list of the hundred quirkiest things he could think of, and then just strung them together into a "screenplay," thinking he was too much of an artiste to worry whether it made sense, or meant anything, or had any connection whatsoever to the experience of real human beings. 'Cause to try to actually reflect real life or tell a real story is so cliché, right?

The truth (apparently lost on most adherents to this unfortunate genre) is that "indie" films have been around long enough to have their own catalog of clichés, and this movie is nothing but cliché, cliché on top of cliché with cliché garnish. It's like every character works at Tchotchky's, but instead of flair, each one has to wear fifteen pieces of cliché. Todd Solondz would think this was indie garbage.

I've seen reviews that praise this film's multitude of interesting characters. In fact, every scene is about the same person: the director. He seems to be constantly insisting how quirky, how indie, how profound he is. Well, anyone can write an eccentric character. What's difficult is to make an eccentric character believable as an inhabitant of planet Earth, an achievement the director does not even attempt. There are no back stories, no explanations for how these people became who they are or why they feel the way they do. It's just a pile of writer's invention, and we're supposed to be impressed--nay, moved by it. It's not moving, it's not funny, it's totally intellectually lazy, and wretchedly proud of itself.

The most hateful thing about movies like this is that their only goal (as far as I can tell) is to deceive. To deceive audiences, critics and festival-goers into thinking that the director is a profound and creative man, a complex individual whose scope of imagination is matched only by the intensity of his empathy. Baloney. This was not a story that was dying to get out, nor a reflection of deep seated passions, nor a portrait of hometown nostalgia. It was an exercise in narcissism by someone who treats the art form like his vanity table. But people buy it. The reviews are mostly good. The user comments on this thread are unfathomably adulatory. What can one say? People are gullible. And stuff like this intimidates them into thinking they liked it. I didn't. I hated it. Can you tell?

The cinematography was good.

...so this one has to be quick. If you want a film that gives you titties (sideboob, nip slip, or full frontal) and explosions, there are films for you. These films will make you say, "F*** yeah!" while you quietly fart, turn over the Nova, and drink the flat Coke from yesterday's Valu-meal. If you want a film that envelopes and warms you like an old sweater while you cry as you are reminded about the boyfriend who took your b-card and then ran off with the hostess at Applebees's, there are films for you. This film will not provide you these experiences. This film will leave you wonderfully bewildered. If you're looking for the other types, get off this message board, haul your cookies to the latest Hollywood video, and pick the first thing that is eye level and shut the hell up because I've action figures to catalog and I do not have time to weed through your pseudo-film critic crap.

You found the IMDb page because some piece of media out there made you more curious about this film. What everyone has told you is correct. This film is an absurdist masterpiece. Rather than referencing pop culture, Mr. Rohal and his creative compadres have created pop culture. It's so interesting and bizarre the film seriously could have been 6 hours long, and I would have been just as involved. Many films of this sort are lulled by either gaps in narrative or clever winks. There's none of that in this film. It's a vision so complete and detailed and so funny and truthful. Everything about this film is far better than it should be; whether it's the gorgeous cinematography, the beautiful music, the spot on performances. Even if the scene just follows a little girl wandering in her neighborhood-- it evokes that sense of an adolescent leisurely rural summer. Even though you can tell they didn't have a huge budget-- it was made completely without compromise. I cannot wait to see his next film. Do yourself a favor and don't rent, but BUY this DVD. You'll be lending it to all of your friends anyways.