All Souls Day: Dia de los Muertos

EXCELLENCE is what you should have expected.

I mean why wouldn't you? With such mavericks of creativity like Mark A. Altman (forget Clerks, Free Enterprise is where it's at. Kevin Smith who?) and Jeremy Kasten (director of the musical short Gayosity, which one crafty IMDb contributor reminds us that the five songs, all elaborate production numbers, were written, shot, scored and laid into the film in less than 24 hours), how could this project have gone wrong? Well, worry not. It didn't! Everyone is in great form here. The cast is pitch perfect. Travis Wester reminds me of a young Matthew Perry but the real winner here is Marisa Ramirez who hits it home with a perfectly layered, nuanced performance that had me on the verge of tears not once but twice. I only hope that their heads don't get TOO big on the success of this picture that they won't return for the sequel. Don't you hate it when that happens? I don't want to say too much more because its hard to really say anything at all without giving everything away. If you thought House of the Dead was good, you're SERIOUSLY in for the shock of your life (which is a good thing!).

If you're serious about cinema, go to your local videostore and demand they get you copy of All Souls Day: Dia de los Muertos post haste! If that fails, call up your local cable or satellite provider and ask them when it might air on one of their channels. If they have no idea what you're talking about, just refer them to this review and read it for them (they will totally get it after that).

To the producers: Bravo! Hats off to all ten of you producers, you are all truly inspiring. If you would like to get in contact with me about sending a film crew to my house to film a commercial about how much I love the movie, my contact details are available in my IMDb profile.

Okay..the Sci Fi channel saw fit to get rid of MST3K, Thriller, and a host of actually well made programs, only to replace them with putrid crap called "made for Sci-Fi" movies. Seriously, has even one of them been watchable? Ed Wood made better horror movies. Low budgets, and bad acting abound. This feces of a movie is poorly directed, poorly written, and incredibly boring. I could have produced better special effects in my basement. Compared to "Sci Fi Channel" movies, "Lifetime" movies, as horrible as they are, are Emmy winners. Yes, as much as they suck, I'd rather watch Melissa Gilbert and Meredith Baxter Birney movies than anything that's "made for Sci- Fi". Not that the Sci Fi channel is a total loss, at least they still air the "Twilight Zone" and "Kolchak". (Now, if they'd just quit trying to make movies, and bring back Night Gallery)

You know, you have to work hard to turn out a "movie" (and I use the term loosely) this bad. And the Sci-Fi Channel has managed to do it a number of times, raising again the question of whether they are farming out their writing and directing duties to family members...or perhaps family pets.

This particular stinker was advertised as a zombie movie, and eventually they did have a few zombies bumbling around, albeit completely illogically and with the rules of their existence changing every 30 seconds as apparently a new hack writer (or perhaps Fluffy the family chihuahua) took over to further mangle this drivel. To say that it was a complete and utter mess, and a magnificently boring one at that, would be an understatement.

The plot, what there is of it, is completely nonsensical and bounces randomly around from one idea to the next blowing holes in itself left and right. Its as if they were making it up as they went along, and were very drunk through the whole process and kept on forgetting their train of thought. And that of course is what always bothers me the most about these turds the Sci-Fi channel turns out -- a lack of money can perhaps explain flat acting or laughable special effects, but the complete lack of coherence on some of these clunkers is just embarrassing.

The casting is bizarre as well, with a random collection of rookies, a veteran character actor, and one of Sci-Fi's wooden stock actors (David Keith) hilariously playing a man who would have to have been at least 60-65 (based on a completely pointless early flashback). The hilarious part? Keith is 50, and looks 40-45. But they randomly insert him in a pointless and nonsensical part apparently completely unaware of how old his character had to be based on their own "plot", and not even bothering with silly things like makeup. Or logic. They also feature an old woman, who again according to their own timeline would have to have been at least 130. And we won't even get into the complete forehead-slapping resolution of the bad guy's character. If the movie hadn't beaten me into my own drooling stupefied zombie-trance by that point, I might have found the whole mess hilarious. Maybe.

I still think this has to rank a half step behind "Skeleton Man" as the all-time worst clunker the Sci-Fi channel has turned out. But it gave it a good effort. Some movies are so bad they wrap around and become entertaining. Not this thing -- its just horrible and deadly boring to boot. Should not even qualify for moviedom at all, but just amateur hour. Bad amateurs too. So just a warning -- no matter how pathetic your life is, no matter if you are imprisoned for life in Siberia and your only other entertainment option is watching 24 hour reruns of transvestite midgets dancing the macarena, there is simply no conceivable way I can recommend ANYTHING in this movie to anyone. Do your brain a favor and save two hours of your life. Watch paint dry. Count the number of hair follicles on your dog's tail. Do SOMETHING, anything else but damage your eyes watching this garbage.

I saw this movie at the hole in the Head horror Festival and thought it was cool. The writer and the director came and talked after and said that they were making a different zombie movie - like from before Romero and that is definitely what it is. There are a bunch of good scares, nice action and the acting is good and the zombies are really cool but the best part is that it is in Mexico and that all the spookieness comes from that. Also there is a mystery going on in the town from when it started that the couple who get trapped there have to figure out to leave - which is well done and not lame or phony.

The makeup is good and there's also some naked girls all painted up to be killed in a ritual. Danny Trayo is excellent as the bad guy and he does a real exorcist scene that stole the movie.

This is your usual absolutely trashy horror movie that is just total garbage, however some of these actually manage to be fun. This one is sadly not quite one of those. It has an interesting premise and it also stars Jeffrey Combs, David Keith and Travis Wester which is surprising to see these actors after seeing how bad the movie was.

After a short intro sequence with a family we get introduced to two teenagers who are absolutely unlikeable and you can't wait for them to die. After that the plot develops and the pacing gets pretty slow with a few jumpscares in between that are not well made and mostly look cheap. There are some flashbacks showing how the character portrayed by Danny Trejo tyrannized the towns people, but that's not engaging enough to be interesting.

Overall despite having a fun idea and a great cast this movie was rather bad. [3,5/10]