The Limb Salesman

The wildly varying reactions to this film in the few reviews already posted here seem to confirm one thing: it's why they make both chocolate AND vanilla. But I have to align myself firmly on the side of the positive postings. Three days after seeing it, I can still see many of the film's images very clearly -- and I'm already confident it's a film I'll be seeing again.

I was consistently intrigued by the world that Veninger, Granofsky & company created, and was impressed by how they managed in almost every case to turn low-budget necessities into creative virtues. I actually enjoyed the fact that we only heard about the "ice mines" and never saw them; and that we only caught glimpses of a futuristic city that didn't seem like a very nice place to visit, let alone live in.

While I still have a few unanswered questions I wouldn't have minded being clearer on, overall I found it strangely refreshing that I WASN'T being shown or told everything about this ironic, anachronistic future -- or that bizarre house, strangely suspended in both time and space -- but just enough to keep me wanting to see how the characters within it would fare. It's a kind of minimalist sci-fi that stays with you, sometimes long after the 50-million dollar CGI effects have faded from memory.

In some ways it reminded me of how I feel watching (or just thinking about) certain episodes of Rod Serling's original Twilight Zone series, and as Martha Stewart used to say, "That's a good thing".

Some of you may come across this offering in Netflix: It will be cast in the Sci-Fi category. Another name may be "Limbs for Sale"

It's set in the future.

There are a few, FEW instants of Sci-Fi props. You will count them on one hand. And that will be that.

Past that-- this is a Staged Play that takes place in a Tattered Canada of the future. It involves a traveling Surgeon, a northern Water Baron, and his not quite 'on the level' family and house retainers who look like Cloned 'Lurches'.

Isolation. Bleakness. Barely controlled emotions under the surface. Family Secrets. Personal Vices. Unsuspecting innocence-- or maybe not quite as Innocent as we would believe.

In a way-- it's a kind of Victorian drama played out in the future.

Many Mainstream viewers looking for a Sci-Fi boom-Zap-Pow WILL be turned off by this. There are no fights. There isn't even a Single gun. From the set in the Old House, the sedate setting, the neo-Edwardian costumes. . .even the CARS are old 70's models.

But the point is that this is a Future CONSTRAINED by climate change. Not quite Apocalyptic, although I would somewhat disagree with the dystopian label.

If you do pull this DVD, you MUST be in the mood for something slower and low octane. This movie is more of a literary flavor than the Sci-Fi label purports. I would slot this movie for a slow, rainy Sunday Afternoon. Give it a little time-- the Actors are putting serious dark energy into their performance and their professional touch is to be appreciated. And the Ending is actually. . .poetic.

Also-- this one is Girlfriend-Friendly. She will probably still be sitting on the couch when you get up now and then to hit the fridge.

I say Give it a chance.

THE LIMB SALESMAN is a complete bag of ass. It's like someone from Degrassi Junior High directed it. It was as poorly written as it was executed. The location was uninteresting, the set and costume design was amateurish at best, and most of the acting was lame, save for Julian Richings who is always a treat.

It's too bad really. It had a catchy title and an interesting idea, which was then hammed up with sappy dialogue delivered by flat emotionless actors. There were some decent drug nightmare sequences, but ultimately they could not save a worthless film. I want my time and money back. (2/10)

The Limb Salesman is a science fiction love story written and directed by Anais Granofsky, whom you may know better as 'Lucy' from Degrassi Junior High.

It's always fun to write reviews of bad movies, and I feared that most films screened at the Toronto film festival would be of a certain caliber since they were clearly chosen by educated programming directors and screening committees. Lucky for me I forgot about one thing-- independent Canadian cinema.

First off, the movie is shot on video, so it has that great cheap made-in-my-basement Canadian feel to it. Not necessarily the best choice for a quasi-futuristic sci-fi romantic epic -it reeks of a final-year school project.

It takes place in a dystopian future that is part cybergrunge and part Victorian period piece. And since it's shot on video, it looks like what I imagine would happen if the Wachowski brothers directed an episode of Road to Avonlea (it even features Jackie Burroughs!)

The premise? Cellular regeneration and genetic engineering are blackmarket specials for the 'limb salesman' who is hired by an industrialist to give his stumpy daughter some real legs to walk around on. Meanwhile there is a subplot of a social uprising of the working class- miners that exist entirely offscreen. 'I just came from the mines,' explain characters, 'there's been a horrible accident of which you'll have to take my word!'

For a move that tries to take itself as seriously and as epic as The Matrix it is devoid of any and all special effects. The wardrobe looks like it was found entirely at a flea market or at Value Village and the whole thing is laced with horrible unnatural dialogue delivered in stiff, high school acting (fitting, I suppose, that it was directed by a Degrassi alumnus).

'Your day will come!' 'Are you finished?' 'Quite!'

It was all I could do to not roll my eyes every 5 minutes when another sci-fi cliché was introduced into the story, such as this beauty: The world's most expensive, precious commodity? You guessed it. Water. $100 shotglasses of the stuff are sipped with comically orgasmic effects. I guess the writers forgot to notice that they situated the entire movie in a house surrounded by fields and fields of waist-high snow. 'I long to see the ocean,' laments a character, clutching a tattered postcard of some tropical locale. 'I long for the credits to start rolling,' laments this moviegoer.

Doors are locked with thumb-print scanners, hybird computers (poorly ripped off from Gilliam's Brazil) and CD-ROMs comprise some of the 'futuristic' technology but for some reason people still listen to Victrolas.

This movie takes itself so seriously it is laughable. I only wish I could see it again as an episode of Mystery Science Theatre 3000.

Oh and the irony? Our regenerative specialist, the limb salesman (appropriately stupidly named Gabriel Goode), has a failing heart. Which of course is prime fodder for the all the romantic melodrama.

Steering clear of this one should be easy, as I can't imagine you'll ever see it in theaters. 1/ 10

Having just seen "The Limb Salesman", I was immediately taken by D. Gregor Hagey's film noir in colour approach to the photography. The sets and costumes exude a richness and patina rarely seen in low budget independent films of this kind. The stark whiteness of the snowbound landscape sets up an uneasy palette for the characters to play against. The metaphor of the two protagonists helping each other out of their wounded states is very touching and I found myself drawn completely into the world Anais Granofsky has assembled with its rather odd characters, where even the strange are somehow lovable.... Jackie Burroughs and Clark Johnson particularly got my attention with their eccentric performances and the rage of a defied man.... Excellent, easily the best indie effort I have seen in several years...