American Crude

even a review would be a waste of time, but i'll give you the important bits: this is one of the most poorly written films i have ever seen.

the fact that so many decent actors/comedians are in it is beyond me. i can't explain how they suckered these guys into regurgitating the terrible dialog.

the story goes nowhere, takes forever, and basically sucks.

no one is like-able, there is no hero, no bad guy, just nothing.

it is a vapid, useless, and moronic film, and THE ABSOLUTE WORST attempt at making a dark comedy i have ever seen in my entire life.

from the script, to the editing, to the directing, absolutely everything is painful.

please, save yourself, do not watch this movie.

I don't know what right-wing conservative is posting all these reviews but this movie is far tamer than some of the reviews would have you believe.

Yes, there is violence; mostly in the form of people shooting each other. But even these scenes aren't terribly graphic and often alluded to. One scene, a person fires a gun - the next scene, another person is dead with a small red splatter so we all know where they've been shot. Done.

There is very little actual sex in the movie. Again, it is mostly alluded to and it's consensual sex (or sexual contact) between adults. Although one of the threads of the movie involves one character attempting to sell a 17 year old girl to a child pornographer, there is no child nudity or sex scenes involving children and no scenes of violence against children.

Another thread involves a Cuban woman who seeks revenge against the men to gang raped her as a child and left her for dead in a dumpster. She does not go into the event in any graphic detail and the flash back scene is very brief and involves the camera pointing up to two fully dressed men looking down (presumably at the Cuban woman as a then child). This is as disturbing as the movie gets.

Ron Schneider is his usual likable, downtrodden, long-suffering self and really adds the comic balance this movie needs. Jennifer Esposito is not entirely convincing as the revenge seeking Cuban, Carlos. Michael Clarke Duncan is the loyal but mistreated boyfriend of Carlos and does a passable job. Ron Livingston is, as always, Mr. Everyman, a flawed but (aw shucks) pretty nice guy when ya get to know him. Missi Pyle (Gigi the hooker) and Shannon Mathers (17 year old girl) lack subtlety in their performances. The two blonde women are typical of the boring sort of wives you find on TV sitcoms - pretty but not really why you tune in.

The movie is sort of everywhere and no where and you don't really get to know what makes anyone tick. Many of the plot twists are pretty predictable and some things seem to be added for shock value and don't really add to the story. Homosexuality seems to be a go to for the writers to try and keep the audience engaged. The scene with Ron Livingston in a gay bar seems to go on for a while and have no real point. Some of the writing is tired and clichéd i.e. "Money talks and bullshit walks." said with far more drama than a line like that warrants. The speech made at the end of the movie by the father standing under the US flag was silly and contrived.

Ultimately, this is decent way to kill 90 minutes and you'll grow to like most of the characters and forget them shortly after the movie is over.

Despite the attracting cast which had a quite good reputation as comedians the movie itself is just not good. The story is kinda boring, they clearly didn't think too far to write this comedy. But since it's a comedy I expected some laughs and to be honest I didn't laugh once, and there is nothing wrong with my sense of humor so that can't be it. I should have read the reviews before watching American Crude or at least looked at the ratings as for once the ratings are totally justified.

What will attract most people to this film is the likes of Livingston and MCD, but I will have to warily warn those who might expect a grand film of cult acting and "dark" irony - avoid this unless maybe intoxicated. Even after watching this I think nothing less of these two great actors and people - they probably did not see/know the entire product before it was finished.

To describe the story would waste the reader's time - plainly stated - a mess of love, betrayal, bisexualism, incarcerated narration, transgendered prostitution, and a few other wannabe intellectual storytelling. Schneider seemed miscast but played his role - BUT JCM - most people's favorite from Scrubs played a short but demented role (that I am sure he will neglect to tell his boy about) that I think will lead to the most fast-forwarded parts of the film - he played just like Dr. Cox - except he was begging for and actually getting sex.

Probably, this will be the most numerically laden A-list cast in a movie (in this time period) that will wish they had nothing to do with it. Most of my customers know how I review films and this is definitely one of those that I would say to skip unless they are having a few drinks with buddies and looking for some flashy background visuals - soundtrack is non-existent and the storyline is a mess of garbage that would be best followed while having a party where no one is really paying attention anyway…if anything - MCD looks like he is between takes of Sin City 1 and 2 - and RL had to fill time between making quality films.

Gave a few stars just on the cast alone.

American Crude was very repulsive with a poor storyline with very unlikeable characters, and the subject matter was crude and offensive. The storyline features numerous references to prostitution, murder, paedophilia, rape, adultery, transvestites, gays and lesbians, and disabilities, this movie was entirely in bad taste. I don't know who approved of this idea to be made into a movie. It is disgusting and totally unfunny. If anyone has any common sense, surely someone would have strongly recommended to change the subject matter.

Michael Clarke Duncan (The Green Mile), Rob Schneider (Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo), Ron Livingston (Office Space), and John C. McGinley (Scrubs) waste their talents in this atrocious load of rubbish.

American Crude certainly lives up to its title, as the entire movie is repulsive and in bad taste. The subject matter certainly does not make a good idea for a black comedy.

Give this a miss.

1/10.