La maison du Docteur Moreau

you know a movie is bad when the beginning credits are made using Windows Movie Maker software. The make up was horrible the acting was worse. My girlfriend bought it used so i wasn't too upset besides i like watching semi-bad horror movies so that i can have a little laugh, but this movie was so bad that it became frustrating. I think the movie was supposed to take place in the 30's but for some reason you really cant even tell. They should make murderers and rapist watch this movie everyday in prison as a punishment. Well at least they have stores that let you trade movies. Im just surprised that they would even give me store credit for this crap.

I cannot imagine how any sane human being could enjoy this film. Its insane crappiness induces vomiting. A man with giant knees would make more sense than the monsters in this film. Don't get me wrong, I like my share of cheesy movies, but this one was just too awful even for me. I watched this movie hoping for a fun and amusing horror flick. What I received was one of the worst moments in my life. At one point during the movie I convinced myself that if the movie did not end in less than 10 minutes, i would jam a fork in my eye. I urge anyone who finds this film on a store shelf to buy it, break it into 1000 tiny pieces, and scatter them across the ocean. If not for me, do it for the children.

Brisk/credible script, the small cast give good performances and the prosthetics and photography work well too. I picked this up for a £1, so expectations weren't exactly sky-high and the Full Moon logo can sometimes spell 'AVOID', - I was very pleasantly surprised. Earl Kenton did a great job with the script, and recognised the budget limitations his story would work within. He has created a small, dark and believable realm. All the actors, (particularly Jacob Witkin and Lorielle New) give very watchable interpretations and transcend the usual standard of performance you expect from this type of film. 'House of Pain' reminded me of two other great films - Stuart Gordon's classic 'Dagon', and the recent remake of 'She Creature'. Good stuff.

Dr. Moreau's House of Pain (2004)

* (out of 4)

Eric Carson (John Patrick Jordan) goes looking for his brother who has gone missing after visiting Dr. Moreau (Jacob Witkin). Pretty soon he sees the horrible creations caused by the doctor as well as getting lucky with the sexy panther woman (Lorielle New).

DR. MOREAU'S HOUSE OF PAIN is pretty much what you'd expect out of a low-budget movie from Charles Band. If you're familiar with Band's work then you should know what to expect here. You've basically got a very low-budget movie that is "borrowing" from countless other films. Obviously this one here is a take-off on the H.W. Wells but one shouldn't be expecting anything like previous versions of the story.

The film's small budget seems to have had most of the money spent on the actual look of the film. It's quite colorful and I must admit that it looked rather good. The biggest problem with the film is its overall tone, which is just bad and not all that entertaining. Even worse are some of the special effects and the creatures just aren't all that believable. Even worse is that you really just don't care about the lead character, his brother or any of his problems.

I will say that the one saving grace was the performance by New. Obviously she's a very beautiful woman and her nude scenes are a welcome but I thought she was also good in the role.

worst movie i ever saw. period. i am not kidding around here. i bought the movie used because i figured a movie with a pig-man on the cover had to be hilariously bad. me and some friends tried watching it but everything about the movie was so terrible we had to turn it off. the acting was poor at best. the characters were morons. (who would have sex with a pig man and expect it to keep a promise of freedom?) the monsters were inconsistent, in one shot it would be covered in slime-garbage and the next it would be dry. i actually had to force myself at a later time to watch the whole thing just to see how bad it was. i actually felt sick after watching this movie which has never before or since happened. this DVD became a thing we would trick people into getting it among me and my friends, i hid it in a big stuffed animal, sewed it back up and gave the stuffed animal to a friend. after awhile he discovered what i had done when i began to hint at it. he tried to get a family member to wrap it up and give it to me for xmas but my brother discovered the plot due to carelessness of my mother so my friend drove past another friends house and threw it on his lawn. it got back to my first friend somehow and he threw it in the trash, right were this movie belongs.