Dark Town

What do you get when you throw in "Leprechaun in da hood" minus the leprechaun and mixing in vampires that are pretty fang-less, and adding a pinch of lesbians for no good reason other than to have lesbians in the mix (I'll bet dollars to donuts that the producers dictated that they be in there somewhere)? Well i'll tell you what you get. Pure unadulterated crap. Not even good crap, the kind you could enjoy if properly inebriated. But the kind of filth that is just hard to watch on account of the overly melodramatic acting, loopy stunted dialog, and illogical storyline. Notice how I didn't particularly go into the plot line of this putrid number. There's a reason for that, this being that I'd rather not think back on this wasted hour and a half that I will NEVER get back from my life no matter how hard I try. And the sad thing is that there actually are worse movies dealing with vampires out there. And that, my friend, is a sad state of affairs indeed.

Where I Saw it: Starz on Demand

Eye Candy: Janet Martin, Claire Mills, Ariana Fronti, and Meghan Stansfield all get topless

My Grade: F

Okay, this isn't the greatest vampire film ever made, but it does have something. Though the early part of the story seemed very unfocused, it did draw all the strings together to create a film that was satisfying, one whose characters did interest me. What I found most refreshing was that the people were people I could relate to--a middle class family and kids who loiter on street corners. The story wasn't typically clichéd, leaving me waiting eagerly to see what happened next. I also liked how free will and self-control emerge as the film's message. I'd almost suspect that this film inspired the new television Moonlight series.

'Dark Town' rides that dangerous line between worlds. Almost a fun gore flick and almost a cheap piece of crap. How much you enjoy it depends on how demanding a viewer you are.

A group of gangsters get caught up in a vampire out break when they attempt to rob a suburban home. It seems the father of the house has (for reasons barely explained) contracted vampirism and has decided to infect his family. Much blood letting ensues.

First the good: as already stated there is oodles of blood spilt. All kinds of vampire biting, feasting (almost like a zombie movie really) and other assorted human dismemberment are on display. Hearts are torn out, heads are lopped off, people are stabbed, shot, one woman even takes a broken bottle are carves up her bare chest. Which brings up the films other saving grace; an abundance of bared flesh. I am actually surprised the film got away with an R-rating. In summation, the film is watchable thanks to much fan service.

Now the bad: it is extremely low budget and not very well made. The locations and lighting either look bad or don't match. The script starts nowhere and ends nowhere, the acting is more like un-acting, and the director shows only limited flare for unique techniques. In short, it's technically defunct.

Gore hounds will be able to enjoy themselves, but expecting quality or uniqueness will only leave you disappointed.

5/10

Well, the short version is the vampiric version of Romero's "Night of the Living Dead". The spreading infection. The group of dysfunctional family members. The house under siege (granted from within instead of from without). Add a solid dollop of Edward Albee's "American Dream" crossed with Lynch's "Eraserhead" and you MIGHT get the idea. It is gorilla film-making. Have no doubt about that. Overall, I still can't decide if I liked it or not. There is no adherence to mythology (in any universe I've seen vampire films from) so you kind of have to suspend disbelief over a deep pit of boiling lye. But, if you can, you might find it interesting. And, even if you can't, it has a certain "Train Wreck" like charm.

Dark Town (2004) was a big surprise for me. I was at the local mega chain video store looking for some bad movies. When I put this one into the D.V.D. player I was in for a surprise. The movie impressed me. Not only was it different, but the film makers used the most out of their small budget and made it work. But the movie could have been better. Even with it's minor flaws, the movie was a lot more entertaining than the crap that's in the movie theater.

A group of people from different backgrounds encounter a strange undead being. This Eastern European creature has the ability to create vampiric zombie beings. These creature feed on blood and gore of their unlucky victims. A slum lord is possessed by the creature who decides to visit his dysfunctional family. Several black youths who have a bone to pick with the Slum lord go cruising into his neighborhood and come face to face with something that they could have never imagined meeting. Will these kids fight the evil entity? Can his family stave off their thirsty father? Who or what is behind this undead creature? How will they fight it? Who will survive? To find out the answer these questions you'll just have to watch DARK TOWN. A different kind of horror film that aims to please.

Not a bad low budget horror film. I was impressed and you might be as well.