Dark Town

Okay, this isn't the greatest vampire film ever made, but it does have something. Though the early part of the story seemed very unfocused, it did draw all the strings together to create a film that was satisfying, one whose characters did interest me. What I found most refreshing was that the people were people I could relate to--a middle class family and kids who loiter on street corners. The story wasn't typically clichéd, leaving me waiting eagerly to see what happened next. I also liked how free will and self-control emerge as the film's message. I'd almost suspect that this film inspired the new television Moonlight series.

I rented this, expecting what should be expected from a b- movie, but all that thought preparation couldn't do enough.

The best description I could use for this...thing is excess.

Almost everything is done in excess. The gore went way too far. I can deal with vampire-blood-sucking, but cannibalism is pretty much where I draw the line. The constant violation of physiological laws kind of bothered me too. In any other movie, someone will rip out someone's heart at most 1 or 2 times. I think anyone will agree with me in saying that stabbing a pocket knife repeatedly into someone's sternum will not cause all of the ventricles, aortas and chambers to remain intact, AND have all of the veins and arteries removed very meticulously.

The lesbianism, was gratuitous and offered no character/ plot development, but it didn't really bother me.

The acting...whoa. It helped us further the stereotypes of how black people (gangstas specifically) talk. Everybody either over-acted or obviously put forth no effort. Vampires are extremely difficult to act and write I guess. Making them poetic, articulate, and realistic seems like a bit much for many writers/actors, as this film shows.

Character development was very weak, especially in reference to the father character, whom we were led to believe change because of the vampirism, but we couldn't understand who he was before.

The whore of the movie had a very inconsistent french/transylvanian(Count Chocula rip-off) and English accent that kept changing.

The baby... the baby reminded me of that...thing on the short lived TV show "That's My Bush" Cinematography was excessive and an obvious attempt at something original, but the director deserves a little recognition for that.

Horrible, don't waste your money, if you plan on spending your money on this, you might as well give it to a bum, so he can go buy some vodka.

What do you get when you throw in "Leprechaun in da hood" minus the leprechaun and mixing in vampires that are pretty fang-less, and adding a pinch of lesbians for no good reason other than to have lesbians in the mix (I'll bet dollars to donuts that the producers dictated that they be in there somewhere)? Well i'll tell you what you get. Pure unadulterated crap. Not even good crap, the kind you could enjoy if properly inebriated. But the kind of filth that is just hard to watch on account of the overly melodramatic acting, loopy stunted dialog, and illogical storyline. Notice how I didn't particularly go into the plot line of this putrid number. There's a reason for that, this being that I'd rather not think back on this wasted hour and a half that I will NEVER get back from my life no matter how hard I try. And the sad thing is that there actually are worse movies dealing with vampires out there. And that, my friend, is a sad state of affairs indeed.

Where I Saw it: Starz on Demand

Eye Candy: Janet Martin, Claire Mills, Ariana Fronti, and Meghan Stansfield all get topless

My Grade: F

Well, the short version is the vampiric version of Romero's "Night of the Living Dead". The spreading infection. The group of dysfunctional family members. The house under siege (granted from within instead of from without). Add a solid dollop of Edward Albee's "American Dream" crossed with Lynch's "Eraserhead" and you MIGHT get the idea. It is gorilla film-making. Have no doubt about that. Overall, I still can't decide if I liked it or not. There is no adherence to mythology (in any universe I've seen vampire films from) so you kind of have to suspend disbelief over a deep pit of boiling lye. But, if you can, you might find it interesting. And, even if you can't, it has a certain "Train Wreck" like charm.

oh my.. this movie is not worth your time. its not even cheesy to the point of being funny. it was a waste of a video rental in my opinion. the lesbians were pretty cute, and the over done "urban black youths" were funny.."yoz fool..we gots to get up outta here and kill us some foolz!" i definitely would not recommend this movie to anyone...it makes no sense, the acting is absolutely terrible..and the vampire makeup is very 2nd grade halloween party-ish..ugh... i'm a very big horror fan and this really disappointed me..and now for my seven year old sisters review " amber..i thought this was supposed to be scary..its just a bunch of flashes and ulgy girls with fangs and blood..can we watch something else..?"