Clementine

Clementine (2004)

This is easily the worst movie I have watched so far in Seagal's filmography, obviously a quick payday for him. He brings nothing to this except his name. He had not even appeared in it before I turned it off an hour in.

Quick synopsis the main star of the movie is a karate champion who lost a rigged fight (possibly against Seagal) I'm not 100% sure. As he is fighting this fight his wife dies during childbirth and his daughter put into an orphanage. He gets her back, stops fighting and becomes a cop. He loses that job for being too aggressive and turns to cage fighting to pay the bills!! Then in a move only a soap opera writer from Days Of Our Lives could come up with, the mother did not die and she wants her little girl back.

Forgettable.

This is quite possibly THE worst movie I've ever seen in my life. I cannot believe all the positive reviews on this travesty of so-called 'film'. Only explanation to those reviews are that they're probably not native Korean speakers and therefore cannot comprehend what's really going on. Poor acting, poor casting, and one of the most unoriginal plot in history of movie making makes this movie a classic. Steven Seagal? Why? They spent more dough on casting him than the entire film making. Not to mention the first part of the movie... where Seagal is fighting years back... and it's somebody else! I think Seagal signed a contract where he CANNOT participate in a movie if his role plays over 5 minutes. They dubbed this garbage as a 'mixed martial arts movie' in Korea when it got all trendy all of a sudden, to target the UFC and Pride fans. What a disappointment.. There is at least one positive aspect of this film, at the end... a classic humor, I might add. Main character goes, "Taekwondo is a state of mind" with the worst Korean accent and Seagal touches his heart saying, "I know..." if this isn't the cheesiest line of all time, I don't know what is. It did make me laugh hard... so I got my money's worth on this one.

Well, I guess you know it by now: Steven Seagal has little more than a cameo in this movie. The real lead is Dong-jun Lee. One point of interest that comes out of this arrangement is wondering if Seagal, playing the seemingly invincible reigning cage-fighting champion, will agree to lose (or, to use a pro-wrestling term, "job") cleanly to the hero, as it would happen in nearly every other story of this type. But the fighting is by no means the focal point of "Clementine": there are essentially 2 long fight scenes, a 5-person free-for-all inside the cage and the climactic match between Lee and Seagal. Both are pretty messy and lacking in flow, and in the last match there are plenty of long shots from outside the cage where you can clearly see Seagal's stunt double. No, "Clementine" is basically a family melodrama, and I have to admit I found it quite moving at times. The characters are essentially good people trying to do the best but not always knowing how or even what it is, and the acting is genuine and heartfelt. Lee is definitely an above-average actor for a martial arts lead, the little girl is irresistible, and her mother is very beautiful. The story does depend on a very big coincidence (the daughter literally crashing into her thought-dead mother in a supermarket!), but if you can accept that, the actors (and the music score) make it work. To sum up: this is a martial arts tearjerker more suitable for fans of the latter genre. (**1/2)

I felt really tense during this film, but not in a positive way. You see, I love Steven Seagal's earlier films from the late 80s and early 90s. You know, when he was thin, handsome and charismatic. His "characters" were kind of more tolerable. But, from the end of 90s and beginning of 2000s... What can I say? Extremely boring C films, straight to DVD features. Now, this is one of those rare Seagal films, very different, very rare, legendary, if you will. You don't see Steven Seagal every day in some martial arts drama, just like this one. Yep, you read that well - it's a martial arts drama. But, that doesn't mean that the movie is good, it was pretty irritating and cringing.

Our leading man is not Seagal, but a man named Kim (played by Dong-jun Lee). He is a former Taekwondo champion who retires from professional fighting to take care of his daughter. However, in order to survive, he decided to fight in illegal matches and he proves once more that he is the best. And, bunch of mobsters wants him to fight a cage champion Jack Miller (Seagal), who is, of course, being a Seagal - indestructible.

The fight scenes were solid, and that is the only thing I like here. Drama was a bit forced and cringing as hell. Steven did his typical job of being in front of the camera and playing a non-emotional badass. But, when it comes to acting - no luck. Actually, when it comes to the martial arts scenes also, you can clearly see that in most fighting scenes, Seagal uses a stunt double. The dude needs to accept that it is over for him. This film was released in 2004 and he still looked like a large, funny walrus in his close up shots. Most of other actors were Korean (well, apparently), starting with Dong-jun Lee. The man is not the best actor around. He showed some good martial arts skills, but acting... well, not that much. His accent was too strong. They could at least hire an English speaking coach to teach him how to properly pronounce English words. And of course, to avoid stereotypes. When he spoke Korean, I understood all. And I don't speak Korean. His character has only one motive and that is fine, but not enough to save the film. Our leading "actress" who plays Kim's daughter SaRang was really forced into her performance. Most of scenes were so painful to watch. OK, I understand that she is a kid and still has a lot to learn about acting and it's not her fault. I think director forced her too much and her performance turned into this ear shredding tirade. Other actors and characters didn't do much. And to mention... one of the leading mobsters and fight organizers is played by Kevin Grevioux (Raze from the Underworld films), but he was uncredited for the role. I would recognize his deep voice anywhere. But, why not credit him? Maybe he didn't want to be credited in Steven Seagal film.

There's nothing much special to say about this film, it is a really boring and irritating ordeal. You definitely have something better to do...

I am a huge Seagal fan, and you will find my reviews on most of his films on this site. I ordered Clementine via Amazon more to complete my collection as I had read that Seagal has "little more than a cameo" in this film. My biggest compliment to Seagal is, this film had to have been filmed on a small budget...and I highly doubt Seagal is hurting for cash...so he must have done this film in gratitude to somebody involved with either the production or direction. The fight scenes are decent-however one can clearly see that it is not Seagal in the cage when the camera is shooting from a farther distance. It reminded me of the fight scenes in "Half Past Dead" thugh they lasted a little longer. Decent movie, hard to get into because of the subtitles, definitely a film only for hardcore Seagal fans.