Max Havoc: Curse of the Dragon

Living here on Guam, I thought it presented our island well. Would it be nicer for it to have better actors and story, yes, of course. But for what it is it wasn't too bad. I have seen far worse (unfortunately) but generally my friends here liked it. And it did get Guam more attention than the millions the government and its visitors bureau waste on cheesy islander adverts. The film was just too plain and has a dreadful lead actress. I think Joanna Crupa was her her name. Painful to watch and brought the whole effort down in my opinion. I thought the Max was okay. Not bad as an actor or star. Our own Tawney Sablan was the best thing about the film. She was cute and more believable than the bimbo playing her older sister. I like it that they used a local talent in such a big part and that really added to the enjoyment. I also thought the photography of the island was good. I heard from my nephew that the film went through many changes and more shooting in Los Angeles to add stars like David Carradine (R.I.P). He had seen a different version which he said made more sense but I thought this version was okay. Except for that stupid blonde actress! She was horrible. Go Tawney!

Max Havoc is not a cinematic masterpiece. In fact it's a poorly produced movie. the attempt of trying to make a Hollywood action movie on a beer budget is clearly evident and does not work. What saves this train wreck of a movie is Joanna Krupa. She might be one of the hottest women in Hollywood. My GF said she can't act. I disagree and wish my GF would move out. She's a failed actress and comedian who hates on other people that actually appear in movies. Where Max Havoc took a bad turn was not more Joanna Krupa. The director or producer or studio should have included nudity parts with Joanna Krupa. When you cast eye candy you have to show eye candy. I do hate when movies feature a star like Carmen Electra on a DVD cover when they have a minor part in the movie. It's like bait and switch. I hope that Joanna Krupa is more movies.

We've all seen them: bad movies. However, MAX HAVOC: CURSE OF THE DRAGON sinks to uncharted lows of stupidity and boredom. I guess this mess seemed like a good idea to some mentally bankrupt "Hollywood Never-Beens," but even an Elementary school film-maker wouldn't be proud of this celluloid atrocity.

A sports photographer goes to the Island of Guam to shoot pictures of something, I don't know what and the screenwriters (There were two!!!) doesn't seem to know either. His name, Max Havoc, is straight out of a bad 80's action film (except it's a bad 2004 action film). While in Guam he runs into some girls who can't act and they involve him in some mind numbing plot points and there's lots of remedial kung-fu "action."

Carmen Electra is in the film for all of 10 seconds but she's got the top-billing. (Yeah, it's one of those rip-off films. The DVD case says: STARRING CARMEN ELECTRA and she's barely in the film. Not only are you, the viewer, ripped off by this film it looks like the Islanders on Guam were ripped off too as the producers got the Locals to sign a loan deal that went bad ((of course - they make bad movies and default on production loans!!)) or some such sh*t.)

There's all the clichéd scenes you expect in a Grade-F "action film." Lots of slow-motion, yelling and running around. No car chases but there is an "action" scene with a boat that's going about 2mph! The girls don't take any clothes off, so you don't even got that. The film reminded me of one of those bad "skin-a-max" films you see in Hotel rooms, except there was no porn in this film just bad story, bad sets, bad acting, bad lighting and bad direction. At least the film-makers were consistently bad: Not one single good thing appears anywhere in this film!

The film ends (thank you, God!): Max Havoc chases away the bad kung-fu guys and gets the girl, Guam gets pinched for the film's budget and you, for having made the mistake of picking this turd up, gets ripped off for whatever Blockbuster charged you.

Due to the controversy involving a defaulted loan secured by the government of Guam, I had a particular interest in getting to watch this movie. More than the usual, being an Albert Pyun fan as I am.

Pyun goes back to the late 80's and early 90's with this movie, the days when he directed wooden martial artists like Jean Claude Van Damme, Olivier Gruner and Sasha Mitchell.

This movie revolves around a former kick-boxing champ turned sports photographer, and his peculiar ability to run into trouble wherever he goes. Funny enough, his name is Max Havoc. Mr. Havoc is sent to Guam for an easy job and to relax. BUt he runs into, first, with two troublesome teen sisters, one smart and one brain-dead (guess for which he fell?), and then with an entire Japanese organization, who's after a stolen jade dragon.

The lead is the Swiss nobody Mickey Hardt. He has the charisma of an amoeba, and his acting skills leave much to be desired. But this is not a dramatic piece, or the tale of an epic battle. This is a martial arts flick and in what regards kicking and punching and beating, Hardt does not disappoint. And despite this, Havoc is a well-natured fellow. Probably the guy every father'd want for her daughter (I just said that? Lame.) There're some strange surprises on the cast. Richard Roundtree ("SHaft") plays Havoc's former trainer now antique dealer. Carmen Elektra tries to "show her place" to Havoc during four scenes, for which she got one hundred grand. David Carradine plays Bill... again. All in automatic. Don't expect any acting shocking you.

Then there are these two sisters. Neither of them can act well and there's this strange lesbic trend in their scenes together. Not as evident as in Bill's...sorry, Carradine's assistants, and way too subtle.

Pyun's directing is normal here. The fights are well-choreographed yet there's an unnecessary over-repetition of the flashback scene that could have been done without. It lacks that special something though.

Far better than some action junk Lorenzo Lamas has done. It has good martial arts, nice scenes, beautiful views of Guam, plenty of girls in bikini, but you'll want to press MUTE when the sisters start talking. It's a watchable flick. For only one watch.

Being from Guam, of course I wanted to see this film. Everyone made such a big deal about it and the Government put up the money for it.

What a really bad movie. It made little sense to me and was a waste of time. I watched it on TV here so I couldn't fast forward it!

Some of my friends were in it as extras, so I guess it was cool seeing them, but the shot they were in was out-of-focus, so even that was worthless. My friends were angry. I guess they waited for hours and hours and never got paid.

The only place this movie is ever gonna play is in the your local car-wash bin for $1.99. It's not even worth that!