Vegas Vampires

VEGAS VAMPIRES (also marketed as VEGAS VAMPS) has all the markings of a "project"; that some veteran (i.e., over the hill) Afro-American movie stars got together to give their own careers one last battery charge and, while they were at it, give some young Afro-American film and acting students a chance to do their thing. Evidently everything was spent on this film - except (1) time and (2) money.

Although this film is supposed to attract us by being located in Las Vegas, a city of glamour and round-the-clock action, we see none of that, apart from about 30 seconds of stock footage of the casino strip. No scenes inside casinos or nightclubs or fabulous mansions. One scene that's supposed to be in a swank neighborhood is actually in an alleyway behind the backyard walls. A scene that supposed to take place in a classy restaurant looks more like the corner of a utility room with a movable bar and a shower curtain hung from the ceiling. There are some stock glimpses of ambulances running in the light of day, but when we have a close-up scene (as we do with supposedly different ambulances on 3 different occasions) suddenly it's nighttime and then we see the ambulances drive off, again in daylight.

Young women in Las Vegas are being killed, and their bodies are found drained of blood, and the LV Police Dept officially suspects that a vampire is really on the loose. Well that's a change of pace! Another change of pace is that a majority of the LV PD, including its upper command, is black; if you lived in LV you'd realize that would be a change like the sun rising in the west. Daniel Baldwin, who may have owed someone a favor, does a one-minute walk-on as a stubborn white cop who doesn't believe in vampires. Thrown into this mix two Afro-American former LV PD cops who are now private eyes in Los Angeles who just happen to drive up to Las Vegas on a lark and take an interest in this string of killings. At the same time, for no particular reason, there's a hip-hop singing contest among Afro-American 20-somethings in Southern California and a couple of fellows win it singing as badly as I do, and immediately decide to take their girlfriends along for a celebratory trip in an RV to LV.

For reasons unknown, this RV has some sort of temporary engine trouble in the middle of the desert, and looking at it from the outside, they're in a sandy wilderness. Then they're filmed from inside the RV and we can see through the windshield that they're parked on grass alongside an active highway. The wardrobe department also went cheap and told these fellows to wear their own clothes - and then the producers got antsy about something printed on their t-shirts because the images were processed to blur the image on the shirts, giving them a shimmer as if you had walked into a 3-D movie without the special glasses.

The vampires in this movie are very selectively sensitive to sunlight. One of them manages, for no particular reason, to stumble out into the middle of what appears to be an open air farmers market at high noon before settling down and bursting into flame. Others, inside the living room of the house used by the king vampire, are disco-ing in mid-day with just flimsy lace curtains on the windows to protect them from the noonday sunlight. The king vampire, as you might have guessed, is a white dude and you don't need me to tell you he's no actor; in fact, he is a very accomplished musical director for movies and he may have been recruited for this role because they had embarrassing photos of him or were keeping his kid hostage or some motivation like that. Anyway, we never actually see him kill a victim because first he has to do this very prolonged arthritic dancing around her unconscious body; no explanation for why he plays with his food.

In the end the vampire is not done in by the police, nor the private eyes, nor the hip-hip singers, but by a nun (also of African descent but since she's sent by the Vatican I don't know if I can call her American) who first appears in the full veil and wimple penguin outfit we haven't seen since Loretta Young, and then she slips into a leather bustier which I suppose is now standard Vatican issue for nun downtime.

This movie is 89 minutes of your life that you will never get back. I consider it one of the worst movies ever made ... and that's against very strong competition.

The hands down worst movie I have ever had the misfortune of watching. I can't believe I actually watched the whole movie and feel dumber as a result. This is truly a case of the train wreck syndrome and I simply could not stop watching because it was so awful. I kept thinking that it had to get better and was always amazed at how it progressively got worse. From the acting to the script to the editing to the photography, absolutely terrible. I can't believe that somebody actually made this movie and thought "wow, this is great piece of cinema!" If I could give it a lower rating than 1 star I would. I highly recommend this movie for all film students as an excellent example of what should never be done in cinema.

Overall, a rather bad movie with a few redeeming qualities. Vampires in Las Vegas run amok and are hunted by a variety of police officers, who eventually defeat the vampires with the help of a sexy nun. Naturally. There are a number of flaws in the movies: day turns to night and night to day in the middle of scenes; characters' appearances change between cut away scenes, only two vampires combusted when exposed to daylight while many others walked around during the day without problems. The number of gaffes in the film provide the viewer ample opportunity to play "find the error." The main premise of the movie seems adequate (hunting down a 300 year old vampire who has returned to seek a new wife), but there are too many sub-plots floating around that provide tenuous links to the main premise.

Three characters stand out for their contributions to this film. Eric Etenari does an excellent job as the main vampire's henchman, a smooth talking, lady's man who provides the boss with his victims. Comic relief is provided by two legendary stars of the 1970s, Fred Williamson (who also directed the movie) and Richard Roundtree (best known for his role as Shaft). In some sense, Vegas Vampires seemed to be an effort, though largely deficient, to remember the days of the blaxploitation films in which Roundtree and Williamson starred in the 1970s.

Tommy Lister is on hand as a police detective looking for the missing daughter of an affluent man, and runs into the vampire clan that have kidnapped her. A second plot has the detective's step-son going to Vegas to get hitched and running afoul of the same vampire clan. Yet a third plot has blacksploitation greats Richard Roundtree and Fred Williamson as ex-cops who go to Vegas for the hell of it and run afoul of, yup you guessed it. Other the vampire connection none of those three plots feel connected to one another in the least until the end when they had to be tied together somehow. It's done in a pretty convoluted way sadly. And it still felt like the writers had no clue what each other were doing. Plots are dismissed, and new ones take their place willy nilly. It definitely didn't help having 5 writers pen it. (too many cooks and all that). The thing that got me to rent this is the fact that Williamson (who also directed) and Roundtree were starring, both of which I respect and enjoy seeing a lot. But they have basically the shortest screen time of all the major characters and are a bit insubstantial. Still when they DO have scenes they're OK. Tommy Lister is the real star of the movie and he does the best job that he could have done with such ridiculousness. The one thing that REALLY got on my nerves bad (I mean besides the vampires dancing like zombies half the time), was the fact that logos on shirts were blurred out, and since a good deal of the cast wears a jersey during the first half of the film, this became extremely distracting and almost made the film unwatchable. The ending leaves room for a sequel, but I can quickly exclaim 'fangs, but no fangs' to that prospect. Oh and you might have noticed I didn't mention Baldwin in my review, this is simply because he's only on-screen a whopping two minutes or so of the film and is a glorified cameo. On a side note, the DVD is as bare-bones as can be with absolute zilch for extras. The movie and chapter stops is all you get.

Eye Candy: there's a gratuitous 5 girl topless dancing scene in the middle

My Grade: D

Officer Johnson (Tommy "Tiny"Lister) is tracking down a string of murders in Las Vegas and his son-in-law just happens to attract the attention of the local vampire ring. When his partner is murdered and a vampire is caught, Will he finally believe? Or does it take a super sexy nun to show him the vampire fighting way? Well, it is obviously the second option.

To start off, this is a great cast featuring "Tiny" (Friday), Richard Roundtree (Shaft), Daniel Baldwin (Vampires), Glenn Plummer (Saw II), and Kurupt (rap group, Tha Dogg Pound). There is also an appearance by K-ci & Jojo. And I did a bit of snooping around here and noticed an A. Demetrius Brown listed as Writer/ Executive Producer. Now that means he is either the guy serving time in prison or the kid from the band B2K that broke up.

Combining hip hop, vampires, Las Vegas, cop melodrama, and blaxploitation, this could have easily have been a failure. But it wasn't. Surprising, the production values were very high with great locations, fantastic musical backdrops, and an amusing cast.

There are some scenes and dialogue that are obviously corny. For instance, why would the vampires feed in public where they can, and do, get caught? And they break a rule that vampires cannot enter a residence unless invited. And that Black nun sure was sassy for a follower of the lord. But the silly scenes are overshadowed by some funny moments, like when a girl is running to her truck to get away and drops her keys right as she gets in. But before I could roll my eyes, she swung the door knocking the vampire over and took the keys from him. There is also a scene where Roundtree karate kicks a vampires head right off! There is a brief topless vampire orgy scene for anyone interested in that. Gore includes a decapitation, vampires burning in the sun, neck suckage, and bullet wounds. I just wished there was more of it and they focused less on the young kids. The "flying vampire" effects were simple, but effective too. Instead of hooking someone up on a wire and swinging them around, they added some effect afterwards to blur out the image and make it appear as though he is moving extremely fast.

IMDb will have this listed as Vegas Vamps (2003), but the actual DVD release is Feb. 27th 2007 under Vegas Vampires by Code Black Entertainment and runs at 89 minutes. The film quality is good and if it was shot on video, I couldn't tell. The SFX was good when it occurred, which wasn't enough.

DVD Extras: N/A. It was a screener and I cannot find any info from other sites.

Favorite Quote: Girl accidentally runs over her boyfriend in truck and asks him, "Oh my god! Are you okay?" Boyfriend replies, "No, you just hit me with a truck dumbass." Bottom Line: Pretty tame blaxploitation vampire flick with some fun to be had though.

Rating: 7/10

by Molly Celaschi