My Bollywood Bride

I saw most of "My Bollywood Bride" today at the IAAC film festival in New York and had to leave the theater due to feelings of nausea welling up within me. I've seen Bollywood movies, and I've seen satires of Bollywood movies. This movie couldn't decide which one it wanted to be, so it ended up being a joke on itself.

It seems to have been liberally copied from movies like Bride and Prejudice and Bollywood Calling, and what a sloppy, lazy job at that. How can Bollywood ever be weaned off of its determination to stick to overused, well-trodden scripts? Is there no one who can bring to the screen the millions of real, fascinating stories that surely exist and transpire in the land of a billion people? The over-smart auto driver, the cow on the street, gratuitous scenes of foreign locations, pointless scenes of Mumbai streets, they're all in there. Every possible cliché about India has been faithfully included. So sickeningly predictable. ugh!!! Acting performances are weak across the board except for Neha Dubey, who is talented and beautiful. One wonders why she would pick a project like this.

I didn't expect much when I saw this at the Palm Springs Film Fest this weekend. It was an alternate choice when two other films were sold out. Still, I held out hope. It sounded a bit much like "Bride and Prejudice" (L.A. guy falls for an Indian beauty, parental conflict, blah blah blah). B&P was not perfect but it was an enjoyable film with some good laughs and likable characters.

"My Bollywood Bride" had none of that. The acting seemed stilted and way to by-the-numbers. Characters were so cliché the story seemed like it could have been written by high school freshman drama student. Technically, the sound really bothered me. It seemed as if there was a lot of over-dubbing of dialogue. I mean a lot. I know sometimes it's necessary but it sounded like half the film was shot in a closet and it became very distracting.

Two stars is being somewhat generous.

This film wasn't ponderous enough to whet my appetite for a bollywood drama, but it does have a tasty balance of music, romance and unforgettable characters. It's never laugh out loud funny, but is frequently amusing. I was giddy with delight in the film's capture of India's sights, colors, tastes and sounds. Old world meets new is the theme for the film's soundtrack. The humorous ensemble cast guides the audience to discover that while being immersed in a foreign culture, human nature stays pretty much the same world over. A joyful infusion of disco, bollywood and lamental melodies that sent my spirit soaring. I had to remind myself - this is after all an American film! It's done with enough bollywood flair to leave me satiated. :)

A paint-by-numbers romantic comedy. But the clichés still work. There are some stand-out elements, like the "rickshaw" driver. Very predictable in a totally satisfying way.

One of the gems of this movie are the bloopers and outtakes during the end-titles. The "rickshaw" driver performs an awesome parody of De Niro's famous "You lookin' at me?" scene from Martin "Marty" Scorsese's "Taxi Driver". Only during the end-titles do you fully realize what fun was had by all, and how talented some of this cast is.

The only way to hate this movie is to indulge the mean-heartedness of some blackened corner of your soul.

This is authentic love at its best. Hollywood meets Bollywood in this cross-culture, cross-continent dreamy love story. Filled with lavish color and sharp wit, My Bollywood Bride takes us on a tour of exotic India to find love between two kindred spirits. If you miss boy meets girl, true romance type of passion, you will find it between Kashmira Shah and Jason Lewis within this film.

Supporting characters like Ash Chandler and Gulshan Grover provide the classic style of a Hollywood romantic comedy, while beauties like Kashmira, Neha Dubey and Madhuri Bhatia shine presenting the luxurious elegance of a Bollywood musical.

This is a heartfelt film.