When Will I Be Loved

When Will I Be Loved is a story about Vera (Neve Campbell), who seems to be struggling with who she is and what she wants out of life. She has a scheming boyfriend named Ford (Fred Weller) whose character is directly lifted from Phone Booth's Stu Shepard, played by Colin Farrell. The two characters are nearly identical, only Ford is not as likable. Other than this, there is no real storyline going on until, after what seems like an eternity, the last 15-20 minutes. It becomes a cross between Indecent Proposal and Wild Things.

Truthfully, this movie bored me until the 3rd act. There is one main reason most men wanted to see this film, and most of you know what it is. Neve Campbell is featured in her first nude scene. While I am certainly all for her doing this, I believe it was done because her career had become a little stagnant. She has not really done anything to note since Scream. I think she had the right idea to get some attention back on herself, she just picked the wrong movie to do it with. There was not even any real reason to have the nudity. It did nothing for the plot, which was nearly non-existent. It was simply thrown in at the beginning and the end. Again, I'm thankful, but I feel it could have been put to better use in a better film with better meaning. It is the only reason I'm giving this movie 5 of 10 stars.

Sexual being Vera Barrie (Neve Campbell) is hired by African studies Professor Hassan Al-Ibrahim Ben Rabinowitz (James Toback) as his assistant. Hustler Ford Welles (Frederick Weller) is working for wealthy Italian Count Tommaso Lupo (Dominic Chianese). He convinces sex partner Vera to spend time with the count for $100k.

I remember the main selling point for this was Neve getting naked. With the recent revelations about James Toback, it's impossible to separate the man from his work. Luckily, his work here isn't good and I'm not conflicted about crapping on this. I only feel bad for Neve Campbell. She was obviously trying to do an art indie as she searched for her place in Hollywood. The other notable is a cameo from pre-tattoo Mike Tyson. It may be one of his last appearance before his tattoo. All the cameo starting with Toback himself are disconnected. They make this guerrilla indie fractured like a student film. The central premise holds some problems mainly with the money. Surely, Vera would want a 50/50 split before the meeting. After getting paid, she could try to buy him off. The conflict could still happen after he finds out the secret but in a different way. The money part lacks credibility. Sadly, Neve's nudity is all that's left. Through it all, she somehow maintains her dignity which is far more than can be hoped for. Toback probably spent more time lining up cameo rather than writing a compelling script. Toback is unable to advance beyond his sad experience.

I am sorry, but this might have been the absolute worst film I have ever seen. I am not usually a harsh critic, but this movie made me ashamed to call myself a fan of Neve Campbell's work. It has no plot, makes no sense, begins stories that it doesn't finish, and goes nowhere. In a word, it sucks. I mean, who cares about a spoiled, rich girl and her sexual escapades. And wow - she's like girls too. A novelty in twenty-first century film-making. Not even the sex scenes were stimulating. Personally, I could have done quite well without being subjected to Neve's pained expressions while being done from behind by her slimy pimp of a boyfriend. And what is with the "African" professor? He is there in the beginning, and then suddenly he's just gone (thank god). I'm not sure if the fact that it is barely over an hour long is a positive or a negative. Negative, because who wants to pay what it costs today to see a film for a mere hour of movie-watching, but positive because I don't think I could have stood a minute longer of such utter crap. I don't think I have ever seen so many people walk out of a theatre mid-movie. The only reason I didn't leave myself was my unfulfilled hope that somehow the movie would redeem itself with an interesting ending. Apologies for my crudeness, but crap is truly what this wannabe Cruel Intentions meets Wild Things meets Indecent Proposal is.

Why the film was even made is the first and lesser of the two puzzles I came away with. The second was that the Chicago Sun Times and Roger Ebert went totally overboard in praising it. I can imagine that some misguided individuals in Hollywood thought the film would "work" or at least make a profit, but how some big-time media people be so taken with so awkward an effort really surprises me. I noticed that many professional reviewers rated the film well below 50/100 but the few comments by ordinary viewers were even more telling in terms of negative reaction. This film seems to me a perfect example of how too many of the media pros quite often give far more praise to a film than do ordinary viewers. I always read all the professional reviews and find them cleverly written and well worth the reading, but I very often turn to the comments from the crowd to bring me down to earth.

There is no need for the box "Contains Spoiler" on this movie because there is no plot to spoil. It's basically a mental rant of characters placed in unlikely situations that leads to an obvious conclusion. I'd say it was like softcore, but even the sex scenes, of which there are way too many for a legitimate movie, are dumb. What little character development there actually is, is completely trite and without depth. Aside from a somewhat questionable performance by Neve Campbell, the film is littered with boring and typical acting by the "not quite making it" crowd. Another triumphantly pointless and boring movie by Toback- hurray!