Blood Camp

The horror industry lately suffers, as I'm sure you're very much aware, from an incredibly annoying trend called remakes. Numerous classics from the 1970's and 1980's – perfectly fine films that absolutely don't require any form of updating – are being remade in order to appeal to nowadays horror loving audiences. That sucks! It also sucks that this trend involuntarily causes you to be milder and a lot less skeptical towards other movies that are nevertheless inferior. "Return to Sleepaway Camp", for example, is a totally redundant and stupidly incoherent sequel that is a quarter of a century overdue, but hey … at least it's not a remake so let's be a little more generous!

I didn't like the original "Sleepaway Camp" very much. The film contained some really ingenious plot ideas and several very grisly images but, regretfully, NONE of these promising elements were processed the way they should have and the shocking climax wasn't shocking enough to compensate for all the defaults. Many old-school slasher fans did count the original among their favorites, and thus the film spawned a handful of sequels. "Return to Sleepaway Camp" is considered to be somewhat unique because it was once again scripted and directed by Robert Hiltzik; the creator of the infamous original. Fair enough, but it isn't because this guy crawled back from underneath a rock after 25 years that the film suddenly becomes an instant must-see cult classic. As to be expected, "Return to Sleepaway Camp" is a routine and hugely derivative slasher picture with uninspired murder sequences and immature attempts at sleazy humor. The atmosphere is light-headed and the production luckily never takes itself too seriously, but generally speaking it's still a waste of time. Strangely enough the film stars a couple of respectable actors, like Vincent Pastore and Isaac Hayes in a flesh & blood portrayal of his South Park character Chef, but most of the cast is a gathering of annoying teenagers (the chubby kid is truly insufferable) and untalented scream queens. Felissa Rose, the one and only Angela from the original, returns to camp as well after 25 years. If you, like me, promptly recognize her amidst the other cast members, it means you've seen way too many stupid 80's slashers.

Return to Sleepaway Camp (2008)

** (out of 4)

The fourth film in the series is a direct sequel to the first one as this here, ala the Halloween series, leaves out parts two and three. Hiltzik was the original writer and director of the 1983 cult classic so there were high hopes for this film, which went through a decade of delays, cancellations and even a lawsuit. Whereas it was Angela in the first film being picked on, this time out it's a fat kid named Alan (Michael Gibney) who feels that everyone is after him. Pretty soon dead kids start turning up everywhere and the counselor Ronnie (Paul DeAngelo) thinks Angela (Felissa Rose) has returned or perhaps it's Ricky (Jonathan Tiersten) seeking vengeance. In case you didn't know, Ronnie, Angela and Ricky are the same three characters from the original film and the original cast members are playing them, which is the biggest draw of this film. After waiting twenty-fives years for a direct sequel does this one pay off? Yes and no. The film certainly turned out a lot better than I expected it would but the film doesn't work all the way through. The biggest problem is the character of Alan. In the original film Angela was a victim we could care for because she was being picked on because she was shy. This time out the character of Alan is just so wildly written that it's hard to feel anything for him because when he isn't getting picked on he's picking on people smaller than him. This film knows how big of a cult the original is and it plays with the viewer over that. The ending here is certainly done a tad bit campy because the director knows the viewer knows the original's ending so he plays with up to get our expectations high. I won't ruin anything but when the ending is revealed it really doesn't come as a shock as it's pretty easy to see coming. It still made me laugh in a campy way but don't expect anything shocking like the original. It was great fun seeing the original cast members and DeAngelo's character is just as campy as in the original film. He certainly adds a lot of fun to the movie as does Vincent Pastore and Isaac Hayes in his final role. The death scenes are also worth talking about as they range from painful to silly. The first death sequence will certainly be talked about as it pays homage to a death scene in the original movie. In the end the movie doesn't work completely but it is a lot better than it should have been. Rumors are going around that we're going to see another one and I'd be up for that as well.

The first three Sleepaway's weren't exactly great but this is just sad. The best thing about this movie is Isaac Hayes playing the chef, just like he did on South Park before he got all the wacky Scientology crap in his head. I could have done without the Sopranos "jokes". For a series that took pride in the silly ways that people got killed, they really dropped the ball in this one. The first death is an exact copy of the first death in the first movie. Weak. The rest just didn't seem like they would kill a person.What really sucked is that it was immediately obvious that the sheriff was either Jamie Kennedy or a woman, it was the worst disguise ever. Did I mention all the bad acting and things that don't make sense? Several times one of the guys says "Angela's back!". How can she be back if she was never at this camp? Just like any other part four, the only reason to watch this is if you have seen the first three.

"Return To Sleepaway Camp" isn't as much a real movie as it is a joke that got a bit out of hand. Apparently there's a website entirely devoted to 80s slasher gem "Sleepaway Camp", and they moved heaven and Earth to get some of its cast and crew back together for a sequel. They even got Robert Hiltzik back in the director chair, even though he retired from filmmaking decades prior. Sadly though, that totally shows. Hiltzik has forgotten pretty much everything that made his first movie such an underground classic. The first one thrived on its inventive kills and compelling mystery (with an amazing conclusion). In this one, the kills just make no goddamn sense (the bed of spikes!?) and you've figured out the twist well before halfway. Even worse though is the handling of the characters. When someone teased cute innocent kids in the original, you were glad they died minutes later. In this one the protagonist is a teen that picks on little kids in the cruelest ways possible, and then gets picked on by adolescents in the cruelest ways possible. You just can't sympathize with anyone in this movie, which makes you indifferent to all the deaths. The biggest difference is in the acting though. Why is everyone acting so tongue-in-cheek all of a sudden, why the sudden shift in tone? I don't remember wanting to punch Jonathan Tiersten in the face any time he opened his mouth in the original, what happened? This movie was released four years after completion: that's rarely a good sign.

This is a terrible movie. It just sluggishly plods along, subjecting us to annoying characters, until it reaches its ridiculous end.

The story is insipid and the editing atrocious. (The scene with the Jeep and tree goes on far too long, extinguishing any tension or morbid humour the scene might have had otherwise.) There is an amusing bit, involving a hole in a floor; that scene, with the wonderful stupidity of the characters involved, is the closest the film ever gets to matching the original in terms of gore and humor.

Isaac Hayes seems to be cast only for the joke of being billed as "The Chef," and then disappears after three short scenes. His character serves no other function (unless we needed a black guy to say "motherf*cker" to liven things up a bit.) There is no mystery as to the killer's identity once all of the main characters are established. Alan, who for some unfathomable reason is the film's lead character, is so irritating that his quick death would have perhaps made the film tolerable. However, there he is, in scene after scene, in filthy clothing, telling people that their ass stinks, and then throwing himself pity parties because the other kids don't like him. (Think of Shelly from "Friday the 13th: Part III" but with none of his sympathetic aspects, only the annoying ones, multiplied by ten, and with body odor and a mean streak, and there is your Alan.) (I thought that at least his "your ass stinks" line would serve some purpose, some foreshadowing regarding his or another character's death - death by stinky ass! - but no, it's just his cringe-inducing recurring line, as lacking in purpose as Isaac Hayes' role.) Any fan of the original is going to want - to HAVE - to see this. Just don't blow $20 of your own money on it.