Lust for Dracula

Didn't understand a bit of it - but with babes like that who cares? I used to think that being a vampire meant living in a damp cellar and flying around at night biting people. Oy Vay - did I pick de wrong vampire!! Apparently these girls have anorexia, which means they spend hardly any time feasting and what sucking they do is on each other's clitorises. When they ain't pleasuring each other they're doing it to themselves - with fingers, not lips - they're vampires, not contortionists. In fact it's a good job vampires can fly because these girls must be so sore that walking would be out of the question. If you miss the first few minutes you could be forgiven for thinking that you'd tuned into the porno channel - but keep watching and you'll be drawn into a suffocating dreamworld by the superb quality of the direction, the soundtrack and the filming (almost said "shooting" but there's only one man in the film and he's dead before he can rise to the occasion. So no hairy arses pumping up and down - excellent). The acting is retrained and creates a nightmarish atmosphere that is compelling. I couldn't stop watching, but then I'm a guy. Misty Mundae, mmmmm ..... tastier than Ice Cream Sundae .

Close enough to Jean Rollin's French vampire stuff in spirit, with genuine creativity and interest in surreal horror plotting and beautiful women, that I recommend the R-rated edit as a good "movie as such." The unedited version is also available on DVD but it gets bogged down in long sex scenes, is no longer a "movie as such." A female Dracula was a good idea and of course Misty Mundae is enchanting, including when doing comedic moments.

To fill out the review with enough characters here are some recommended Jean Rollin if you liked this one: The Shiver Of The Vampires Lips Of Blood Fascination.

Plotwise, on the other hand, I will have to get back to you on that as soon as I figure it out for myself. I finally got around to watching this, and while I wasn't disappointed, I was left with one of those "What in the hell did I just sit through?" feelings. At first, when Misty Mundae rambles on to some baby crib about being trapped and alone, I thought she was just REALLY bad at acting her role, but then it's revealed that her character is just fruit-loopin' crazy. Darian Caine and Julian Wells play men (?!), although they have fairly large breasts and perfectly shaved "southern regions". Julian Wells even goes as far as to bang Misty from behind....interesting. The plot, like I said, is too choppy and confusing. But Tony Marsiglia is by far the best director Seduction Cinema has got working for them. His films are really twisted and very darkly erotic. The award for the best actress in this film is actually a tie between Andrea Davis (who is great at portraying b*tch characters) and Casey Jones (who physically fits the part of teenage goth-popper turned emotionally drained vampire to a tee). The sex scenes in the unrated version go on forever and a day, even more so than a lot of Seduction films. So if you're not used to the lesbian sex quota that must be met in every single one of their films, you're much better off with the R-rated version (not a drop of blood is cut out, its all sex). This is a welcome addition to my E.I./Alternative Cinema collection, and I am waiting patiently for Tony Marsiglia's new film, "Chantal", which looks to be pretty darn good as well.

Since I didn't make it to SXSW, I missed the international debut of Lesbian Vampire Killers, so I have be satisfied with this film.

Little vampire and lots of lesbian action; some even say porn. There is even something for those who get off on schoolgirls with plaid skirts and white blouses.

Don't try to make any sense out of this film, especially Misty Mundae's "little bat-bat" soliloquy. Her sister Jonathan (Julian Wells) had just done a job on her. Of course, Dracula (Darian Caine) shows up at midnight to do a really good job on her.

All this film needed was a nun to make it fully exploitive.

OH Gawd! The WORST! Lame everything...so boring and brainless it reminded me of how easy it might be to give an adolescent filmmaker an 8mm camera and a 500 dollar budget. I rented this one because I liked the box cover...MISTAKE? Perhaps... Every expectation I had for a watchable horror flick was not met, it was murdered in cold blood. It seemed as if the script, if you want to call it that, was ad-libbed and the acting was so forced, it was like watching a high school production of 'The Music Man' (only with lesbians on Xanax). I see the director has made other things. For his sake, he'd better keep hiring the same "box designer" and make his name in the credits really, really small.

I firmly believe that this might be the worst movie I have ever seen.