Péril en altitude

Suddenly down comes an avalanche! how she and her colleagues get off - you dont know! the action suddenly switches to a unit ontop of another mountain that gets attacked by a small group of russians who steal something that looks like a discoloured rubiks cube, they jump on a plane, which is shot down!.....does it get better? Wouldnt know, 10-12 minutes in and we reach for an off switch and the delete button. IS this the best FREEVIEW can offer? well, if it is dont bother...other than Ms Peebles no one else in the cast was familiar.....currently, watching repeats of some UK based Comedy series....which is superior to the previously mentioned Ms Peebles stuck avoiding an avalanche!

An unashamed Z-grade mountaineering flick, directed by a man (Jim Wynorski, hiding under a pseudonym) better known for making trashy T 'n' A movies and with a storyline that's more than happy to rip off VERTICAL LIMIT. If you like watching overly familiar, silly movies loaded with stock footage, awful plotting and some outrageously poor effects, you've come to the right place.

Things begin with a supposedly dramatic sequence set atop a sheer cliff. It soon turns out that this is a direct rip-off of CLIFFHANGER's famous opening scene. From here on in, we get a silly, half-baked storyline involving a futuristic satellite weapon that looks like nothing more than a cheap Rubik's cube. There are some outer space shots that look awfully familiar to the ones in UNDER SIEGE 2, and a squad of Russian terrorists whose tendency toward self-destruction makes them some of the dumbest ever shown on screen.

Eventually, the plot gets around to sending a bunch of would-be heroics up an impassable mountain in Tibet in a race against time (yawn). No surprises that there are some more dastardly betrayals, some dodgy Russians and a token black guy whose only purpose is to get bumped off ASAP. The high-rise heroics make use of plenty of sub-par CGI and characters don't bat an eyelid when long-time friends are decimated by stock-footage avalanches.

Of the cast, lead Costas Mandylor is the most familiar from his appearances in seemingly dozens of SAW sequels. He's supported by Linden Ashby (who was a one-time action hero in the likes of MORTAL KOMBAT, although his acting hasn't improved since then), and the pretty but vacuous Nia Peeples. Aside from some low-rent machine-gun action, there's not much going on here, leaving this a Z-movie to be endured rather than enjoyed. Still, there's far worse out there even if this is below average by genre standards, although that's not a recommendation.

This is worth seeing, if only to provide a floor for rating all other movies. Worst of all time? Probably not. laughingly, shockingly horrible? Definitely. I was embarrassed for the actors in the movie, who must have been randomly recruited from a Greyhound terminal. I was also embarrassed for the movie Vertical Limit, which, though it is also a terrible movie in it's own right, actually made an effort, and has some entertainment value including a couple of Point Break-esquire one-liners. Sub Zero lifted almost all of it's action sequences and mountain scenes from Vertical Limit. When I say lifted, I don't mean they borrowed ideas, but rather cut-and-pasted footage. Another person wrote that one scene looked like an SNL skit, and I agree. Sub Zero is so pathetic, it is almost entertaining. But not quite.

I direct you to the plethora of reviews that point out the hilarity of the script, plot lines, acting, and stunts, the absolute impossibility of the political implications, horrible technicals in climbing (gear clothing, physical fitness, NO Sherpas, the EMP, ad infinitum) ALL add up to a totally ridiculous jaunt up a mountain chasing a glow in the dark Rubik's cube upon which the fate of the world rests.

All that being said NUMEROUS times, there is some magnificent footage of the mountains, avalanches, breathtaking, sweeping vistas that will either excite you, kick your death wish sporting sense into overdrive, make you wonder how on God's 3rd rock from the sun ANYONE considers mountaineering FUN BUT will across the board make you feel small and leave you awe struck.

If you go into this with a coupla joints, a bucket of salty buttery popcorn, a Big Gulp and absolutely nothing else to do on a cold rainy day you will not feel like you've been robbed of 90 minutes of your life -- It is what it is - a piece of straight to DVD B grade fluff made to entertain, not educate you on WMDs, mountain climbing, global political relations, or American clichés (and there are 85 minutes of clichés) - if you are looking for American Oscar worthy films, BAFTA contenders or even Golden Globe potential -- MOVE ON. if you like a train wreck of a film that will, if nothing else, entertain you - it's worth a watch... and ladies, you gotta admit the guys are HOT.....

The picture of a climber on the DVD box is what made me rent the movie. I was expecting something no worse than Cliff Hanger or Vertical Limits (both of which were ludicrous). But I knew within the first 2 minutes that this was oh-so-much-worse... The special effects are bad, the acting is bad, the script is pathetic, and the climbing... beyond laughable. Another reviewer already commented on the "crawling along the snow", the missing crampons in the crevasse, and the poor ice axe technique of the "climbers".

I'll add to that: 1) the fact that the climbers go from D.C. to K2 base camp at about 20,000ft with no acclimatization (close to instant death...); 2) they carry big, heavy non-expedition tents to Camp 1; 3) there are tire tracks all around Camp 1 (!!!); 4) they never rope up properly, and walk too close together; 5) it's windy outside, but quiet and calm inside the tent (no wind); 6) they carry Coleman gas lanterns to Camp 1 and no one has a headlamp (what real climbers use); 7) their packs and equipment are all new, and yet, all these climbers are "the world's best" with loads of experience; 8) they're not dressed like climbers (furry hood); 9) they keep referring to the fact that it's suicide to climb K2 "in this season" (winter?), yet, it's mostly sunny and apparently not very cold on the mountain (no visible "breath").

And no one - I don't care how good they are - would ever sign up to reach 23,000ft on the north face of K2, within 72 hours of sitting in an office in Washington, D.C. Not even for large sums of money.

If you're going to write a movie about climbing, wouldn't you learn SOMETHING about the sport first?

For good climbing movies, Everest (IMAX) by David Brashears, and Touching the Void (the Joe Simpson story) --- much, much, much better, even without the fake Russians and glowing Rubik's cubes...